


Fisi Mtima

by frk_werewolf (wolfelements)



Series: Fisi'Verse [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Anya who?, Hyena Xander, M/M, Mating, Soul spells, William - Freeform, minor sexual intimidation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-07 00:32:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 46,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6777013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfelements/pseuds/frk_werewolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A battle is fought and deep within, an animal is released.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in 2004. Holy moley!
> 
> Won Judge's Choice at the Fang Fetish Awards Round 8

.Prologue.

Xander could remember when it happened, like it was yesterday instead of nearly four years ago. He remembered the day. A sunny day, a trip to the zoo, and an unwanted present. It started out as unwanted. He had gone home, subdued and confused by the sudden war raging within. Instincts and a possession, a true possession, had taken over. Something was within him, released and in control. Not because he couldn't fight it. No, it was because something was maintaining a state of imbalance. Something had caged him up inside.

When the event was over and done with, Xander had a feeling something was wrong. The spell they had cast had been meant to remove the hyena from his mind. It was much later, after the experience with Angelus and the Mayor, that Xander realized what had truly occurred. Sitting in the strip club of Oxnard, he figured out what had happened. And everything they had told him was wrong. The books Giles had read, the information they had believed to be true, it was wrong. Because the hyena was not gone. It was simply caged. Imbedded in his soul, but nonetheless caged.

He never spoke of it. After everything that had happened to them, Xander suspected that everyone forgot about it. Xander figured it true. After all, he had feigned amnesia of the event. Instead he played out his soldier memories, letting them remember that possession. Though that wasn't a possession, not quite. 

And that was the difference between the soldier and the hyena. The hyena was a presence. It wanted to be released, to create a union with his human mind; to strengthen them and aide the pack. The soldier was a modification of his own mind. The soldier was him, merely with a different background.

Xander wasn't sure what to do about the hyena. He figured it had been there so long, that there was no getting rid of it. He wondered, briefly, if the other guys were experiencing this, the other members of his former pack. Then the idea was pushed away, because deep down he knew it wasn't true. Why? Because no matter what Xander did to forget, he remembered all too well the events leading up to the possession. He had gone to another's aide. He had been the defender, while the others were the attackers. That had changed them somehow. He had received the alpha, the protector, the strong one, and they had received the weaker hyenas. their hyenas did not survive the second spell.

His hyena felt no connection to them afterwards. And that was the proof of his theory. For a small moment, Xander let himself feel pride that he had come up with it. And they called him stupid.

So that was the story. That was the truth. And inside, he could hear the hyena; day and night, it prowled it's cage. And someday, Xander knew it would be released. He only hoped it would share his body and soul with him.

 

.Chapter One.

"Are you sure about this, Giles?" Xander asked, looking over at the Watcher. Giles sighed and nodded, though a bit reluctantly. "Alrighty. Lead the way, oh great Buffy."

"Last time I spotted the Queer Man h-"

"Quieeeer-Mahn." Giles corrected.

"That's what I said." Buffy frowned. Willow and Tara hid identical grins behind their hands. "Anyway, he was by that park on 22nd Street."

"The one with the blue swings?" Xander asked.

"Yeah." Buffy replied, raising an eyebrow. "You like those swings?"

"They are the best!" Xander grinned.

"Enough of this." Spike's voice interrupted from behind the group. "Let's get there and get it done, eh?"

"I hate to admit this, but Spike's right. This thing is a child-eater after all." Giles said grimly.

"Figures for a Queer Man." Xander said, shaking his head. Willow immediately slapped him in the shoulder. "Ow? I didn't mean it like that. I meant the demon, Willow. No one can pronounce all those E's... Unless you're Giles."

"Will you lot shut up!" Spike hissed. "We're getting close. Yer gonna tip the bloody thing off if you keep all this up."

The group fell silent as a hissing noise filled the air. Their view of the park was blocked by a large cluster of trees. They watched as a large snake-like demon slithered into view. Willow squeaked, clutching onto Tara's hand as the two witches fell into the background so they would be out of the way and able to help with spells if needed. 

Xander gulped and tilted his head back as it came closer. It was like a huge anaconda, at least fifty feet in length. A huge set of arms protruded from its side as it lifted its head up. Its head was like a cobra, but with a set of long horns on top. The muscled arms flexed, hands the size of trucks gathered into fists. And Xander watched as Spike grinned wickedly and lifted his battle axe.

With a primal cry, the vampire launched itself into battle. Buffy followed suit, brandishing two long swords. Xander and Giles slipped along the side of the heated battle, attempting to reach the end of its body. Their plan was to attack its long body, while Spike and Buffy worked on removing its horns in order to kill the demon.

The battle became bloody very quickly. Spike reveled in the green blood splattering across his face with each stroke of his axe. Buffy whined continuously, even while stabbing and swiping. Willow and Tara continued their support with varied blocking spells. 

It was a surprise when the Quieeeer-Mahn swung around. It moved with such speed that its head was a blur. There was a sickening sound in the air, like someone puncturing an air-tight container. All eyes turned, jaws dropped in horror, and the demon pulled back revealing a wound in Xander's stomach. The boy faltered, his eyes flashing an odd green, before he collapsed onto the ground. 

Willow and Tara rushed to his aide. Buffy let out a furious scream, leaped onto the Quieeeer-Mahn and cut off one horn with a swing of her sword. The demon shook her off, letting her fly into the air and land in a heap on the grass. Spike pulled back and swung. His axe spun through the air, before plunging smoothly into the demon's skull. Spike watched as the Quieeeer-Mahn shuddered and fell to the ground with a dying howl. The last horn dangled by a sliver of bone, the only thing connecting it to the head.

All attention immediately turned to their fallen ally. Spike hovered, uncertain of what he should do, as the four members of the Scooby Gang attempted to wake the boy. The vampire watched as a shallow pool of blood gathered around Xander's body. He could smell it in the air. Fighting his demon's instincts, he pushed past the group. Carefully, he lifted the wounded boy into his arms.

"Should we take him to the hospital?" Willow asked softly.

"The horn might have had an effect on him." Giles replied, a torn look on his face. "We'll take him to the Magic Box and see if we can assess the injury. If it's bad, we'll take him to the emergency room."

The trip to the Magic Box was quick and silent. Once inside the building, Spike gingerly laid Xander on the table and worked at getting his shirt off. Once that was complete, he stepped back and pretended to not care. Deep down he was worried, which angered him, because he wasn't suppose to care about any of them. But he found himself worrying about them. Well, except for the Slayer and her Watcher. 

"It's not as deep as we thought." Willow announced. "It's just bleeding a lot. Buffy, could you get me the first-aid kit?"

They worked silently. Willow and Tara patched up Xander, while Giles sifted through one of his many books. When a small whimper broke the silence, everyone stopped what they were doing and turned toward Xander's form. Spike was the first one to him, though he couldn't really explain why he had rushed forward. The rest bunched around the table and watched as Xander let out another whimper of pain. Slowly a pair of deep brown eyes opened up to look at them.

"Xander, are you okay?" Willow asked. A low sound was her only reply. Everyone frowned in confusion as a strange, gravelly sound escaped Xander's chest. It was Spike who realized he was purring, though it was nothing like a cat's purr. This was more primal, and it sent a shiver down Spike's spine. Willow lightly touched Xander's shoulder. "Xander?"

The moment Willow's hand touched his shoulder, Xander let out a growl and leapt off the table. This was followed by a yelp of pain as he stumbled. He scrambled back, away from everyone and yet not turning his back to them, until he was in the corner next to the register. He clutched his wounded side and stared at them. His eyes pulsed with a green light, before dying back to brown.

"Giles? What happened to him?" Buffy asked stiffly. No one moved, as though afraid of alarming Xander.

"I'm not sure." Giles replied honestly. "I need to do more research. I only know that Quieeeer-Mahn horns are very dangerous. Most books insist on keeping your distance from them, unless you're planning on killing them."

Willow, Tara, and Giles immediately sat down with a collection of books each. Buffy paced the room, completely aware of Xander's unblinking gaze on her. It became too much, and knowing that she was no help in the research department, she quickly took off to her training room. Seconds later they could hear the familiar sound of fist hitting punching bag.

Spike watched all this from his post near one of the magic supplies shelves. Slowly, he let his eyes move back toward Xander. Now that Buffy was out of the room, it appeared Xander had opted to stare at the next person most likely to harm him. This, evidently, was Spike. Not that the vampire was surprised.

Spike focused his attention on the boy, smelling the air slightly to pick up his scent. Something was definitely wrong with Xander. It was more than just thinking he was in danger. Xander smelt like a predator, albeit an injured one. His scent gave off a very dangerous undertone nonetheless. The sound of the primal, deadly purring hit his ears again. Spike realized it was the boy's way of comforting himself. Why, he wasn't sure. It made Spike bounce back and forth between amusement and worry, much to his own displeasure.

"I think I found something." Tara's soft voice announced. She blushed slightly when everyone looked at her, but continued. "The horn of a Quieeeer-Mahn is used as a... soul relaxer?"

"What does that mean?" Willow asked.

"It's like the effects of marijuana on the mind." Spike spoke up.

"But... I don't get it... It lower inhibitions of the soul?" Buffy asked from where she stood in the doorway leading to training room. Xander’s eyes immediately focused back on her. 

"Somehow, it released something within Xander." Giles mused. "But whatever it is must have already been there. The question is, what?"

"He's acting like a cat or something." Buffy commented. Xander growled at her, low in his throat, his eyes once again flashing green.

"Oh no." Willow whispered. "Buffy... Remember the last time his eyes did that?"

"What do yo-" Buffy paused, staring at Xander. He continued to growl at her, his body pressed hard against the wall in the corner, his hand still clutching his hurt stomach. Buffy gasped and stepped back, moving towards the table and away from Xander. "I thought we got rid of it. It went away... Giles?"

"It should have. The ritual was performed correctly." Giles looked flabbergasted.

"S'cuse me, but what the hell are you lot talking about?" Spike asked, frustrated with not knowing what was going on. 

"Our sophomore year, before you showed up, Xander and a group of bullies were possessed by a hyena spirit." Willow explained. "But we performed the ritual! The zookeeper ended up with the hyena in him. Xander couldn't even remember what happened."

"That's not exactly true, Willow." Giles said softly.

"What?" Buffy frowned.

"He didn't want you to know that he remembered the things he did to you." Giles explained.

"Understandable." Buffy mumbled. She turned to looked at Xander, who was now watching them with wary eyes. "Why isn't he acting like he did last time?"

"How should he act?" Spike asked, gesturing toward Xander. "He's a bloody animal now."

"Spike." Willow replied calmly. "Last time he spent most of his time trying to... Well, mate with Buffy, and eating the school mascot. It's strange to see him cowering in the corner."

"If you say that hyena's been in him for that long, I'd be one to bet that he's a little crazy at the moment." Spike commented. "Being locked up inside your own body, with no control? That hyena's probably confused as hell, innit?"

"Since when have you been the voice of reason?" Buffy asked, snidely.

"Since you started paying me, pet." Spike grinned. Buffy rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to Xander.

"What is he doing?" Buffy asked. All eyes turned toward Xander. The low growl in his throat had not stopped, and now he was moving forward while remaining in his crouch. Like a predator slinking toward its prey. Ready to pounce. Spike couldn't stop the shiver that caressed his spine.

Xander's eyes were steadily green now, pulsing with inhuman light. He scanned the room, taking in each person, before once again staring at Buffy. The Slayer gulped and took a step back. This simple act cause a slow grin to appear on Xander's face. The growl morphed. A strange laugh, high pitched and hiccup-like, began to interfere with the growling. Xander's grin turned feral, teeth bared, before he attacked.

Spike was shocked. In fact, everyone was shocked. Even with the wound, Xander moved with a speed that was not uncommon to vampires, or Slayers. Buffy, despite having watched Xander, was caught off guard by this sudden movement. Her instincts screamed for her to fight back, to eliminate before she could be eliminated, but she couldn't. This was her Xander-shaped friend. She knew he was still there, somewhere, deep inside. So, confusion took over her brain, and all she could do was let Xander tackle her to the ground.

No one moved as Xander straddled her waist, pinning her hands above her head. Buffy was suddenly thrust back into sophomore year. This exact position, when Xander had demanded she be his his mate. Was that what he was doing? No, it couldn't be. He wasn't looking at her with the same sexual gleam. Instead, his eyes held a feral, dominant nature.

Buffy struggled slightly, trying to at least get her hands free. Xander bared his teeth, the laughing sound of the hyena diminishing once again to a low growl. Buffy shifted underneath him, trying to get into a position to buck him off. Xander seemed to predict that, and snapped his teeth at her as a warning. Buffy stilled, unsure of what to do.

Spike moved closer to the pair, but stopped when Xander shot a growl at him. Xander turned back to Buffy, and Spike watched as Xander lowered his head to her throat and breathed deeply. Scenting her. Buffy gasped, her eyes wide. Xander jerked his head back, teeth bared once more. Spike understood what was happening, though no one else seemed to. 

"Slayer." Spike whispered, hoping not to startle the boy. "Slayer, he wants you to submit."

"What?" Buffy squeaked. "Nononononononononono."

Buffy repeated the word under her breath like a mantra. Spike almost felt sorry for her. Apparently she thought this was like last time, but it wasn't. Sighing in frustration, Spike attempted to catch her attention. "Slayer!"

"Spike, get him off me." Buffy said through gritted teeth.

"Look, Slayer, he's not trying to mate with you. It's nothin' like that." Spike insisted, watching as Xander continued to bare his teeth and growl. 

"How would you know?" Willow's inquisitive voice asked.

"Vampire clans." Spike replied honestly. "The strongest fights the others into submission in order to keep his place as clan leader. I'm thinkin' it's the same with animals, packs. The whelp's showing the same behavior, anyway. He attacked Buffy because he sensed her strength." Spike turned back to the duo on the floor. Buffy was staring at him with shocked eyes. Spike fought the need to roll his eyes. Did they think he was all brawn and no brains? "Just tilt your head back and expose your neck."

"Are you kidding me?" Buffy asked. Xander growl got louder.

"He won't let you up until you do." Was Spike's reply. He didn't care, after all. Not one bit. Yeah, Spike snorted inwardly, let's lie to ourselves.

Buffy turned back to Xander. He continued to stare her down, teeth looking absurdly white. Slowly, she tilted her head back. His movement was fast. Buffy's gasp was loud in the fear scented room. Xander’s mouth closed around the curve of her neck, teeth biting down. Not hard, no broken skin, just enough to get his point across. 

Then he released her, returning to a crouch next to her, and staring down everyone else. The Slayer remained on the ground for a moment, shaken, before crawling to a sitting position. The growl was still emitting from Xander's chest as he stared down the others. Buffy was forgotten on the floor as he leapt onto the table with such grace that he looked like an acrobat. Books were knocked off as he slinked toward Giles.

The Watcher could only stare, eyes wide and jaw dropped, as Xander leaned in close. Xander's eyes flash green once more as he breathed in Giles' scent. He then pulled back and turned to Willow. The redhead's eyes were even wider that Giles', making her face look terribly young. Xander paid her the same amount of attention, breathing deeply. When Xander turned toward Tara, he tilted his head. His eyes traveled from one witch to the other, breathing in the air around them. Slowly, a grin appeared on his face and the growl vanished.

"Mate?" Xander's voice was low and slightly hoarse, as though the hyena was forcing itself to translate into the human tongue. Willow and Tara exchanged looks, though neither responded. Xander growled and grounded the word out again. "Mate?"

"Y-yes." Tara stuttered out. She reached out and slid her hand into Willow's. Xander seemed oddly content with this development. A soft, grating purr escaped his chest, before cutting off. Xander let his eyes return to Buffy, who had finally stood. His eyes trailed down her body. The look was hardly sexual, more like taking stock, as though seeing if their little tumble had hurt her.

Xander's eyes finally trail over to Spike. Spike couldn't say that he was surprised when a low growl once again developed in Xander's chest. But this time it sounded deadly. Spike took an unnecessary breath and released it. Slowly, the vampire stepped back. Xander's eyes flashed green and a single phrase escaped his throat mid-growl. "Not pack."

"Figured that, mate." Spike replied, still stepping backwards and hoping he didn't look threatening.

It appeared that Xander's confusion, the hyena's confusion, was slowly melting away. Thoughts and words were returning to his brain. He could think, well, the hyena could think almst properly. Spike could sense this, looking into those eyes. Eyes that were suddenly more than just crazy and confused. He didn't expect to be included in Xander's little pack. He was the outsider, below the pack according to natural law. Spike's inner demon recognized this and demanded to escape. It was either run away or submit and be considered table scraps.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two.

Spike cursed under his breath when Xander jumped off the table, landing less than three feet away from him. The boy no longer crouched down on all fours. Instead, he stood on his two feet, looking almost demonic. Xander's brown eyes scanned his body, before staring hard at his own blue eyes. Spike didn't want to admit it, even to himself, but he could feel the small need to submit to Xander. And it was unnerving, not to mention pissing him off.

"I'm leaving." Spike said, trying to keep his voice clear. Xander tilted his head in response. Spike moved to step back, but Xander quickly grabbed him by his duster and yanked him forward. If Spike had been able to breathe he would of been left breathless. Maybe it was some inner desire for self-destruction, but Spike found himself leaning into the hold. 

"Not pack." Xander said softly, his voice no longer sounding strained. Apparently, the hyena was once again comfortable in his skin.

"S'pose not." Spike replied.

"Help pack... Not pack." Xander's eyes held a slight confusion at this idea.

"I get paid, don't I?" Spike move to shrug, but Xander held him too hard to allow that movement.

"Paid..." Xander trailed off. He pulled Spike even closer and lower his nose to the vampire's neck to breathe in his scent. He pulled back slightly to look Spike in the eyes. "Smells nice."

"That I do... Now I'll just be leaving, ya?" Spike asked, trying to pulled out of Xander's strong grip. "Let you play with your pack. Not pack, so..."

Spike trailed off as Xander sudden leaned even closer to his face. He couldn't help the gasp that escaped him when Xander slowly licked across his right cheek. The boy pulled back, tilting his head in thought. 

"Tastes nice." Xander stated. "Feels nice, too?"

"Uhhh, no." Was all Spike could come up with. He cleared his throat. "Look, why don't you just let me go. I'll stay away from your pack."

"Your not in pack." Xander said softly. A small frowned played on his lips. Then suddenly he let go of Spike's duster. Spike found himself falling backward and landing hard on his backside. Xander growled down at him, before turning back toward the Scoobies.

Spike couldn't help but feel a little put out that Xander turned his back to him. It was proof that the hyena was not afraid of him in the slightest. Grumbling to himself, he climbed to his feet and left the Magic Box with a slam of the door.

The next few days were what everyone would call stressful. The hyena appeared to be taking it's roll as pack alpha very seriously. Willow, Tara, and Buffy had been forced to stay over at Giles' apartment. Xander refused to let them out of his sight. When Buffy attempted force in order to leave for patrolling, she ended up being tackled and pinned to the ground for nearly thirty minutes until she once again bared her neck in submission. She was thankful that Riley was satisfied with simply a phone call. She didn't want to think about what would happen if he had walked in on that.

It took four days for Xander to start acting mostly human. He was in no way like his human self, but he now used whole sentences and seemed to understand the basics of society. This, everyone thought, was an improvement. It wasn't until five days had passed that Xander allowed them to leave Giles' home. 

Spike, during all of this, kept to himself. He had no reason to go parading over to the Watcher's place. Not to mention, he had no intention of meeting up with Xander until he was back to normal. The vampire was not happy with the effect the boy had on him. Thus, he felt it best to stick close to his crypt and attempt to stay out of trouble. It was a hard week for him, to say the least.

Saturday evening found Spike fighting a collection of fledges in the outskirts of his own cemetery. He was so caught up in the violent dance with the four vampires that he didn't notice the person watching them from behind the nearest crypt. He quickly dispatched three of the offending vamps, then concentrated on venting out his anger on the last one.

It was a surprise to him when the vampire exploded into dust mid punch. He staggered forward, but quickly regained his composure. Spike let his eyes slowly travel upward. Taking in the black pants and shirt, Spike was shocked to see it was Xander. It seemed the hyena had better fashion sense.

Xander stood in front of him, his lids lowered in an almost sexual look. Simply staring. Spike wanted to step back, wanted to at least be able to move. The animalistic power was radiating off Xander in bucket full. Spike once again felt his demon cower slightly.

"You fight well." Xander said slowly, taking a step forward.

Spike gulped.

"Your strong." Xander tilted his head slightly, his eyes trailing over Spike's body.

"'Course I am." Spike said rudely. "I'm a vampire, aren't I?"

"Hmm." Xander's lips curved upward. He tossed the stake in his hand to the side before stepping right in Spike's personal space. He breathed in Spike's scent and grinned. A grin that shot a wave of apprehensive pleasure down Spike's body. Spike cleared his throat.

"So, where's your little pack?" He asked, taking a step back. Xander immediately stepped forward, closing in on Spike once more. "Figured you wouldn't let them out of your sight."

"An unhappy pack is a deviant pack." Xander said in a mock-sage voice. "The females are socializing. The elder is researching."

"And what, do tell, are you doin'?" Spike asked, once more stepping back. "Out playing savior to the Big Bad, eh?"

"I highly doubt you need help." Xander replied. "Your strong."

"So you've said, whelp." Spike stepped back again. This time, Xander took four steps forward, forcing Spike to step farther back as well. He soon found himself pressed against the wall of a crypt. Xander was once again in his personal space, breathing deeply.

"Strong. Smell nice." Xander growled low in his throat. "Taste nice."

"Oi, you need to back off." Spike threatened. Xander laughed softly, the strange hyena laugh that sounded oddly appropriate.

Xander moved closer to the smaller man, his chest pressing up against the vampire's. If Spike had a heartbeat, right now it would be beating at a near heart attack pace. Xander's hands came up and rested on the wall behind him, effectively blocking the vampire from escaping. Xander dipped his head down and took in Spike's scent.

"Yer invadin' my space here." Spike said through gritted teeth. He fought to hold his arousal in check, but it was becoming difficult. He couldn't remember the last time he had a warm body that close. Or when he felt like he was being dominated in more ways than one. And the fact that it was Xander didn't help any. The boy's scent was like an aphrodisiac, even Spike had trouble denying that. It was no wonder Xander was known as a demon magnet. Who could stop themselves when he smelt like this?

"Your alone." It wasn't a question, Xander merely stated it before returning to his thorough scenting of Spike's hair.

"What are ya getting at?" Spike growled. Xander met his growl with his own.

"You'll fight me." Xander commented, a predatory grin appearing on his face. "I like that. Buffy fought, last time. When I wanted her years ago. Don't want her anymore. She's too weak. Not good enough for me, for the pack."

"And the fact that she's shagging Soldier Boy doesn't effect that decision, I s'pose." Spike replied. Xander let out a dangerous growl at Riley's mention. "Don't like him either, eh?"

"He smells like rotting food." Xander told him. Spike couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. Despite the seriousness of the situation, the comment had been funny.

"Ta, mate." Spike said.

"Mate?" Xander raised an eyebrow. He brought his face close to Spike's. Spike gulped and attempted to pull his head back, but he was pressed hard against the wall. He couldn't stop the whimper that escaped his throat when Xander lightly licked his chin. "Mmm, taste good."

"Yer gonna regret this, Harris." Spike said quickly. 

"Need a mate." Xander said softly. And for the first time since this all began, Xander looked vulnerable. A small frown played at his lips and the gravel-like purr had started up in his chest.

"Why me? You hate me, remember?" Spike tried not to feel sorry for the boy. Xander was the white knight, after all. He was used to getting the short end of the stick. But Spike couldn't help but see a bit of himself in Xander at that moment. And it made him fume inside. "You don't want me. You want someone strong, right? Well, bloody hell, that could be a lot of people. So I fuckin' smell good? What's that got to do with it, eh? You need to get back to the Watcher and get this mess cleaned up. I will not have you blaming this on me."

"Your..." Xander trailed off, looking at him carefully with that same sad frown. "Your rejecting me."

"Damn right, I am." Spike growled.

The punch came out of no where. One moment Xander was pressed against him, frowning and smelling like pure sadness, and the next he was slamming him against the wall and punching for all it was worth. Whether it was the hyena or some strange strength that Xander had never shown before, the boy was strong. Spike felt his head crack against the cement wall with the first blow. He barely had time to dodge out of the way with the second. 

Xander was fast and he fought to be faster. He wasn't sure if he would be able to hit Xander back, and decided that dodging and waiting for a chance to run was better than getting his head fried by the chip. It was to his own shock when, barely into the attack, Xander backed off. Lifting his head, Spike watched as Xander merely walked off without looking back. 

Slowly the vampire got to his feet. Anger boiled inside him as his blue eyes scanned the deserted cemetary. Then, releasing a howl of anger, he swung around and slammed his fist into the crypt's wall. Pieces of cement flew, and pulling his hand back he saw with satisfaction a large hole. Letting his hand drop to his side, he flexed the now bloodied fingers. The pain was dull and hardly compared to the anger he felt inside. Anger towards himself. Anger towards Xander. Anger towards everything he could think of.

Spike growled in frustration as he turned and left the cemetery. He prowled the dark streets, praying for some demon to come walking by. It must of been a night of bad luck, for he found no demons. Only drunk college students, and he could hardly unleash his anger on them. This was how he found himself a Willy's. Normally he would of went to the Bronze, but he did not want to chance another encounter with hyena boy.

The bar was dark, hardly crowded, and no one paid him any mind as he sauntered over to the bar. After ordering a Jack Daniels and growling Willy away, Spike submerged himself in his own emotions. The anger had subsided, leaving now a sense of depression and remembrance. 

God, he hated how he was reacting with Xander. Just because the boy had got himself a demon did not mean Spike had to respect him. Or submit. Spike growled low in his chest, causing a nearby Mercluk demon to squeak and move away. And knowing that he had just scared a peaceful demon, for once, did not bring Spike entertainment. This whole situation was completely out of his control, and he hated it.

He had to admit that Xander acting this way was sexy. He gave off this presence that screamed 'don't mess with me or I'll fuck you into the ground'. And Spike couldn't help but react to that. It reminded him so much of Angelus and the games they use to play before the poof got himself a soul. And that made his anger boil once more. Where did the boy get off making him feel that way? He had been practically trained by his Grandsire to react toward that sort of torment. The knowledge that he was being dominated and controlled. He couldn't help the sexual reaction it caused, even if it pissed him off.

"Stupid Angelus. Stupid Harris." Spike growled, slamming his bottle of JD onto the counter. Maybe he just needed to get laid. That was a thought. The last time Spike had bed someone was Harmony, which was quite a few months ago. If only he had refrained from trying to stake her, then maybe he would have someone to pound into the mattress. To make bleed and whimper for more. Spike didn't realize he was moaning until Willy coughed and looked at him with a strange glint in his eyes. Stiffening his back, Spike sent him a glare before ordering another Jack Daniels.

Across town, in The Bronze, Buffy was attempting to keep Riley from noticing Xander. Xander was seating at a table near the darkest corner, his eyes practically burning a hole in Riley's back. He had arrived at the club about an hour ago. He had immediately searched each one of them down, sniffing the air around them slightly, before retreating to his watching post. Buffy almost wanted to go over to him to see if he was okay. He looked pissed.

"What's wrong?" Riley asked, noticing the look on Buffy's face.

"N-nothing." Buffy replied.

"No, it's something." Riley slipped his hand into hers and began pulling her off the dance floor and toward a quieter area. "Tell me what's going on. It's not demon business or anything, is it?"

"Not really... Kinda." Buffy sighed. "Can we get out of here... I don't want to risk someone hearing this."

"Yeah, okay." Riley led her out of The Bronze, not noticing a pair of flashing green eyes narrowing. Outside, they began walking along the sidewalk. Riley focused his attention on Buffy, who looked subdued in the lighting of street lamps. "Buffy?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry." Buffy bit her lower lip, eyes darting around them as they past a cemetery. "Something happened last week."

"What?"

"Xander, he..." Buffy took a deep breath. "This has to stay between us, Riley. No Initiative finding out, okay? I can't risk Xander getting hurt."

"What's going on, Buffy." Riley demanded softly.

"Promise me, Riley." Buffy turned to him, a pleading look in her eyes. Riley felt his resolve lessen and, with a sigh, he nodded.

"I promise."

"Okay... Okay." Buffy repeated to herself. "When we were in high school, Xander was possessed by a hyena spirit while at the zoo. A lot of stuff happened, but we finally performed the ritual to get it out of him. Something went wrong. Giles is still trying to figure out how it happened, but Xander's hyena didn't leave him like we all thought. It was simply pushed into dormancy."

"How?" 

"We don't know." Buffy replied, honestly. 

"What does this have to do with last week?" Riley asked.

"We fought this huge snake-demon last week. It hurt Xander with one of it's horns. The result was the hyena getting lose." Buffy said softly. "Xander's still in there, I can tell. It's different than last time, though. Giles thinks it's because the hyena has been aware of everything while inside of Xander and that it had aged, became mature. Some crap like that, I don't pretend to know what he's talking about when he gets onto one of his rants."

Buffy sighed once more, walking over and sitting on a nearby bench. Riley followed her, unsure of what to say or even think. After a moment's silence, Buffy began to speak again.

"The hyena is alpha, apparently." She said, letting her hand slip into Riley's. "He thinks he's our leader. He... It took Xander a while to let us out of his sight. Now, I don't know. He doesn't like us interacting with others. But he's slowly starting to behave more like a human. Still, you can tell it's there, you know? You can see the animal in his eyes."

"What are you guys going to do?" Riley asked, squeezing her hand in reassurance.

"Giles is searching for a way to get Xander back." Buffy told him. "But... He says it's gonna be difficult. We can't extract the hyena. It's been there so long we could drive Xander into insanity if we do. Giles thinks that maybe we can bind the hyena within him, but he doesn't know how."

"Buffy." The word was spoken softly, but harshly. She turned to look at Riley, wondering why he had said her name like that. That's when she realized he hadn't spoken. Buffy followed his eye line to see Xander standing before them, arms crossed and eyes flashing that strange green light.

"Xander! What are you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"You left, so I followed." He said simply.

"You didn't have to..." Buffy said slowly.

"He's not pack." Xander growled.

"Look, Xander, he's my boyfriend." Buffy attempted to explain. Xander sniffed the air.

"Not mates, not pack." He told her calmly. Buffy glanced over at Riley. She fought back a laugh, despite the rather serious situation. She didn't know how Xander would react to anything at the moment, but the look of shock and confusion on Riley's face was comical. Then, curiosity got the best of her. She had to ask, and since Xander seemed lucid enough to understand what she meant, this would be a good time to question him.

"What would make him pack, Xander?" Xander's head tilted in slight confusion, but a look of frustration replaced it along with a sigh.

"He must accept the pack leader." Xander said, giving Riley a pointed look, growling softly under his breath. "And then he must prove himself worthy in order raise his rank in the pack. Otherwise he shall be the lowest member, the omega." Xander narrowed his eyes at Riley. "Your not pack. You hurt her, the pack will devour you."

"Ummm..." Was all Riley could come up with. Both him and Buffy watched as he turned and left without another word. They shared a look, before Buffy sighed and broke into her whine voice.

"What are we gonna do about him?" She asked, resting her head on his shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

"According to Albert McHann in the late 16th century, to bind a spirit within the body is very dangerous. If gone wrong, it could result in the person becoming a complete invalid, a vegetable if you will." Giles pulled off his glasses and began polishing them.

"But we're not binding his soul, we're binding the hyena." Buffy said, sitting down at the table in the Magic Box. They could hear Xander in the training room, beating up one of Buffy's punching bags.

"Yes, that would be the intention." Giles sighed as he replaced his lenses. "The problem is that there appears to be a connection, a semi-union, of some kind between the hyena and Xander's soul. If we bind the hyena, there is a great chance we will bind Xander's soul as well."

"And that will be bad...?" Buffy encouraged, looking confused.

"It will cause Xander and the hyena to be locked within his own body, with no outlet. He will no longer have control over himself. It will be like he's in a coma, but worse. Spirits and demons will have complete access to his body."

"Right, no soul binding." Buffy said immediately, then winced as the sound of metal braking resonated from the training room. "That's the third pole he's broken this week, Giles."

"Yes... He is rather.. aggressive in his training." Giles said, eyeing the door to the room.

"That's not all of it." Buffy shook her head, a frown playing at her lips. "He's stronger than last time. Giles, he's stronger than I am!"

"I'm well aware of that Buffy." Giles told her. Buffy's frown simply grew in size.

"So what are we suppose to do?" Willow asked.

"Continue researching, I guess." Giles sighed. "There really isn't much else to do."

Books were once more passed around the table. As the group settled down to a long night of reading, Xander sauntered into the room. He stared them all down, sniffing the air slightly. Then without a single glance back, he left the Magic Box.

The cemeteries of Sunnydale were all the same. Filled with stones engraved with memories and crypts housing nests of killers. Xander liked the cemeteries. He could prowl between the gravestones, not making a single sound, and hunt. Not for food, but to protect his territory. For that's what Sunnydale was. It was his.

After the fourth explosion of dust cleared that evening, Xander titled his head toward the gentle wind. A feral grin appeared on his face when he caught the scent of leather and menthol cigarettes. Leaping easily on top of the nearest crypt, Xander let his eyes focus on the vampire that had rejected him. Ensuring that he was down wind, Xander was able to watch the vampire stalk through the cemetery. Xander fought the low growl wanting to resonate in his throat. The hyena still wanted him.

Spike paused on his way home, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from his duster and lighting one. Taking a long drag, he narrowed his eyes and glanced around the area. A prickly feeling crept up his spine, telling him that someone was definitely watching him. Then his eyes landed on a darkened figure crouched on the roof of the nearest crypt.

With lightening speed, the figure launched itself off the crypt, tackling him to the ground. Spike let out a girlish yelp and began kicking at his attacker. Before he could manage to get much of a fight in, the body above him had straddled his hips and pinned his arms above his head. Panting for un-needed breath, Spike looked up at the man's face.

"Hello, darling." Xander whispered softly, leaning down to look Spike in the eyes.

"Bleedin' hell, get off me!" Spike growled, bucking upwards in hopes to dislodge Xander. Xander remained perfectly balanced, laughter shining in his green glowing eyes. "You pillock, get off of me right now."

"No, I don't think so." Xander replied calmly, tilting his head with a grin that sent both fear and pleasure shooting across Spike's brain.

"Get off." Spike repeated. He opened his mouth to say more, but it was quickly muffled out by Xander's lips on his own. The strange shiver, that seemed to show up every time Xander did, appeared once more along Spike's spine. Xander's tongue grazed his lower lip before biting down on it gently. Spike fought back a groan.

Spike jerked his head away, opening his eyes to see lust filled chocolate orbs. Xander's tongue slipped out, licking at his lips, before disappearing once more into his mouth. Spike couldn't fight the groan this time. Xander grinned once more at the sound. Xander's face came close to his and Spike shivered again as his hot breath graced his lips. Xander dipped lower, carefully tracing Spike's cheek with his tongue. Spike whimpered below him.

Xander pressed his lips against Spike's once more, the smell of leather and menthol invading his sense. And under all that scent, he smelt the unique musk of a demon and human, mingled together and emitting a single name: Spike. Xander finally pulled back from the kiss, meeting Spike's defiant blue eyes.

"I thought I told you I didn't want to be your mate." Spike growled. He couldn't block the arousal fighting to come to the surface, but he wasn't about to give in to Xander's advances. Xander stared down at him, his lust filled scent coated Spike's senses. Spike quickly looked away. 

"You want me." Xander whispered in a husky voice. Spike gulped. "You desire me. You crave me."

"Do not." Spike denied, fully aware that he sounded like a pouting child.

"You want me." Xander repeated. "You want to be dominated. You want to feel me taking you, owning you. You want to taste my blood." Spike bit back a moan as Xander continued in that sexy whisper. "You crave to taste my flesh, just as I crave yours. You desire my body above you, below you.... In you."

"Like hell I do!" Spike glared with indignation. Xander chuckled. Spike gasped when Xander rocked above him, the possessed human's apparent erection digging into his groin. His own cock twitched, and Spike cursed. Normally he enjoyed being a vampire, for that meant he could get off on pretty much anything. But at the moment, seeing the wicked smile on the boy's face, Spike could only glare as his body began to pay attention. 

Xander's hold on his wrists tightened. He continued to thrust his hips downward in a lazy manor, watching as Spike bit his lower lip hard enough to bring blood. The tangy scent of stolen life, even if it was simply a pig's life, scented the air as a drop of crimson appeared on Spike's lip. Growling softly, Xander swooped down and licked at Spike's lips. The taste of copper exploded on his tongue and Xander began to purr.

"Bloody hell." Spike gasped, jerking his head away once again. "Your like a cat. It's really annoying, you know."

"Well, they do say my breed is a mix of dog and cat." Xander replied, grinning.

"Are you planning on gettin' off me anytime soon, whelp?" Spike asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I rather like you this way."

"Apparently, you bleedin' like me any way I come." Spike growled.

"Mmmm, I would like to see you come." Xander's grin turned feral. Spike didn't know whether to be afraid or roll his eyes in annoyance.

"You have a once track mind, you do." Spike grumbled, having decided on agitation for his main emotion. Xander chuckled above him. Then, like a whip crack, Xander's face turned serious and his eyes flashed green.

"I want a mate." Xander told him, through gritted teeth. "I don't want just any mate. I want you. Your strong and worthy. You taste divine and feel even better. Your perfect for me."

"As much as I appreciate the compliments, I've already said no." Spike replied. Xander narrowed his eyes. Leaning down, he snaked his tongue up Spike's neck and across his ear. The vampire shivered underneath him. Pulling back, Xander gave him a cold smile.

"You'll wear down eventually." Xander informed him. "And I'll be waiting."

Spike didn't reply. Instead he watched as Xander smoothly stood and walked away. Closing his eyes, Spike took a moment to compose himself. Then he stood, scanning the cemetery for any sign of Xander, and lit another cigarette. Breathing in the soothing nicotine, Spike fought to calm the anger beginning to boil within him. 

How dare Xander presume... Whatever it was he was presuming. Spike snorted at himself. This was ridiculous. He didn't want the boy, he didn't even like him half the time. Sure, Xander was loyal to a fault, which was something that vampires searched for in a partner. He was also brave, stupidly so. But he was a White Hat for crying out loud, and Spike did not develop attractions to White Hats. Especially ones that just spent the past thirty minutes sexually harassing you.

"You know you enjoyed it, you wanker." Spike told himself, flicking his cigarette away and continuing home.

"I think I found something that just might work." Giles announced three days later.

"Well, let's hear it." Buffy set down her dusty volume along with everyone else. Giles pulled off his glasses, looking thoughtful.

"There is a ritual that can be done which might be useful to us." Giles began. "The only problem is that the objective, being Xander, must be a voluntary participant. Otherwise the ritual will do the complete object of it's intention."

"And what would be it's intention?" Willow asked.

"Well, to merge the hyena and Xander together."

"What?" Buffy's jaw dropped. "Why would we want to do that? Honestly, Giles, I don't think Xander would want that."

"Yes, I do realize that it's not the best option." Giles sighed. "But we can't just leave him as he is. The hyena has been in him for a very long time. In all truth, that probably explains why Xander has survived so long working along side you, Buffy."

"Still..." Buffy trailed off.

"I will look into other options, Buffy." Giles told her. "But I do believe this will be or best solution. The effects of the ritual would be much like Angel with his soul."

"What do you mean?" Willow asked.

"Angel is, well, Angel. Correct?" Giles replied. "But he still has all the features of his demon. He has the speed, the agility, the... fangs. If the ritual is done correctly, Xander's results should be the same. He will still be strong. Most likely, he will still think of us as his pack. But he will be Xander."

"W-what happens if the ritual is done wrong?" Tara asked.

"It will split the hyena and Xander apart."

"Why would that be bad?" Buffy frowned.

"We would still be unable to extract the hyena." Giles polished his glasses. "It's resided within Xander much too long. And if the hyena is stronger than Xander, it will completely take over Xander's body."

"We would lose Xander." Willow said softly.

"Yes." Giles nodded.

"Okay." Willow took a deep breath. "I suppose we should start researching this ritual, then?"

"Indeed." Giles stood to gather more relevant tomes. After passing them out, he settled in his chair and focused on the book before him.

"Umm, quick question." Buffy spoke up. "How are we suppose to get Xander to agree with it?"

"Let's leave the obstacle until last, shall we?" Giles suggested.

"Gonna be that hard, huh?" Buffy grimaced. "Well, I know it won't be me doing the convincing." Giles raised an eyebrow at her, resulting in Buffy sighing dramatically. "He's still pissed at me about the whole Riley thing. I think I've been demoted in the pack."

"Hyenas are matriarchal, Buffy." Giles explained. "The females are in complete control of the pack. Males are as low as you can get. Even infant females are placed above the eldest male. It has nothing to do with you, Xander's just following his instinct."

"Wait, that means Xander's hyena is female?" Buffy asked, eyes growing wide. She turned to Willow and Tara, a small smile fighting to appear on her face. "Do you think that effects everything? I mean, remember last night at the Bronze?"

"Oh, when he started sniffing down that one guy?" Willow giggled, before stopping abruptly. "Wait... Does that mean Xander's gay?"

"I highly doub-" Giles started.

"Well, it would make sense, right?" Buffy interrupted. "He hasn't had a girlfriend sense Cordelia."

"Honestly, I really do-" Giles began.

"He always did like Oz a bit too much." Willow interrupted.

"And I'm sitting here, trying to voice my opinion. Once again, I am ignored. Isn't this lovely?" Giles muttered.

"Oh my God, and Angel!" Buffy raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah!" Willow grinned. "He always complained about him too much."

"I do believe he hated Angel." Giles announced.

"He once called Angel attractive." Willow continued, pretending Giles had said nothing.

"Honestly, are you two listening to yourselves?" Giles asked. Both girls ignored him. Tara sent Giles a sympathetic smile. "I'm starting to think me and you are the only ones here attempting to research."

"What about Spike?" Willow squealed. 

"I think you might be right, Mr. Giles." Tara told Giles.

"What about me?" A voice asked. Everyone turned to see Spike leaning against the counter, arms crossed.

"Nothing." Buffy said quickly.

"So, where's the mutt?" Spike asked, ignoring Buffy and Willow's shared grins.

"Patrolling." Giles replied.

"Taking over the Slayer's job, is he?" Spike smirked.

"He is not." Buffy denied.

"Really? Then why are you in here?" Spiked asked with an innocent look on his face.

"No... Reason." Buffy glared. "Look, it's none of your business why he's not letting me patrol." Her eyes widened. "Shoot! I mean... That is, I can patrol."

"What do you want, Spike?" Giles asked in a tired voice.

"Just seeing if there's any new baddies around for me to beat up." Spike replied.

"Thankfully, things have been quiet on the Hellmouth." Giles told him.

"Which is a definite good thing." Buffy added, then she frowned slightly. "Unless they are planning something."

"Yes, well, let's not curse our luck." Giles said.

The sound of a jingle interrupted their conversation. Looking over, they watched as Xander entered the Magic Box. His eyes scanned the room, before landing on Spike. Spike stiffened noticeably. A predatory grin appeared on Xander's face. Slinking over, he pressed his body against Spike's side. Breathing deeply, Xander took in his scent. A shudder visibly passed through Spike's body. Xander's eyes flashed green, before he made his way toward the table, one hand sliding across Spike's chest. Spike watched as Xander sat down at the table, then closed his eyes briefly.

"Right, bye then." Spike said in an odd voice, before darting out of the shop. Willow and Buffy shared a look, eyebrows raised.

"So, Xander," Willow started, breaking the silence that had descended to the group. "How was your night?"

"Six vampires." Was all Xander said.

"Pretty good." Buffy nodded her approval.

"You smell like him again." Xander announced, resulting in Buffy shifting in her seat. "Why do you insist on rubbing yourself in his dirt?"

"Xander, that's none of your business." Buffy told him. Xander's eyes flashed green.

"My pack is my business." Xander narrowed his eyes, growling slightly. "He is not pack, therefore a threat."

"Riley is not a threat!" Buffy said, frowning deeply.

"He's not pack." Xander growled again.

"Pack, pack, pack! Is that all you think about?" Buffy stood, placing her hands on her hips. "What do you expect me to do, Xander? He's my boyfriend. I can't just let him go like that."

"He's not even trying to prove himself worthy." Xander said, in a way that suggested he was talking to a child. "He's not trying to join the pack at all. All he wants is you. What he doesn't seem to realize is that with you comes us. If he wants you, he's getting all of us. We are a package deal."

"He..." Buffy trailed off, sighing deeply. "Look, Xander, I don't want to talk about this."

"Fine." Xander said simply. Buffy frowned at him once more, before spinning around and heading towards the training room. Xander let his gaze travel to the others, while the sound of hitting flesh echoed in the background.


	4. Chapter 4

The creature was huge. Blue scales that were coated in a thin layer of black slime that dissolved skin and bone of any living being. Too bad for the Heklath demon, Spike wasn't living. His skin was a corpse, preserved by stolen life. 

Grinning, the vampire ducked as a large hand with needle sharp claw swiped at his head. Twisting, Spike punched skyward, connecting underneath the demon's chin. It staggered back, roaring in anger. Spike merely widened his feral grin, before turning into a spin kick. The Heklath's back slammed into the wall of the alleyway, leaving cracks in the brickwork.

"Bet ya wish you didn't pick on the Big Bad, eh?" Spike taunted. The Heklath let out a howl and charged him. Spike slipped away at the last moment. Quickly, he dropped to the ground, swinging his right leg and sending the Heklath to the ground in an angry pile. Like lightning, Spike darted forward, took hold of the Heklath's head, and gave it a sharp twist.

Breaking bones echoed through the air and Spike let the body fall into an ungraceful slump. He quickly assessed himself, making sure none of the slime had effected his duster. Satisfied that it was safe, Spike sauntered out of the alleyway and began making his way home. He still felt the adrenaline that came with a fight, along with the raise in arousal. It never ceased to shock Spike on how every time he had a good fight, he desired a little fun in a bed. Or against a tombstone, wall, ground. Really, at that moment, Spike wasn't too picky.

"Why did I have to go and get rid of Harmony?" Spike grumbled, before coming to a halt. "Bloody hell, I did not think that."

"Now why would you go and settle for her, when you can have me?" A voice whispered in his ear. Spike spun around, fighting to keep the look of surprise off his face.

"Don't do that! If I had a heart it would of stopped." Spike growled. Spike narrowed his eyes at Xander, who simply leered at him. In a flash, Xander had him pinned to a nearby wall. Spike glared, the adrenaline in his body morphing into even more arousal as the warm body pressed against his own. "Bugger off."

"I think I'd rather bugger you." Xander said softly. Spike bit his lip, fighting back a groan, as Xander's hips thrusted against his own. He could feel himself harden in an instant and cursed the day he was made a vampire.

He felt Xander's lips trail across his cheek. Spike jerked his head away, hoping to keep Xander from kissing him. Xander chuckled, and forged on. Spike growled as the lips pressed against his own, a tongue invading his mouth. Part of him wanted to bite down on that caressing muscle, the other part wanted to kiss back.

For a few more minutes he continued the battle for self-control, while Xander continued to nip at his lower lip and thrust one clothed erection against the other. Finally the battle ended, and Spike had lost. Reaching up, Spike grabbed Xander's head and pulled him deeper into the kiss. Sliding his tongue past Xander's and into the warm mouth.

Suddenly the warmth enveloping him was gone. A hand clutched the front of his shirt and he felt himself being jerked sideways. The street disappeared and in replacement he found himself pulled into another alleyway. Xander pinned him back to the wall, his hands now clutching at Spike's ass. Spike finally let out the groan he had been holding in since this began, thrusting his hips forward to meet Xander.

Xander snickered in his ear, a sound that sent shivers along his neck. Closing his eyes, and refusing to look at the man before him, Spike pressed his lips once more to Xander's. Xander moaned into his mouth. His grip tightened on Spike's ass, their hips rocking together almost violently. Spike grunted, jerking his head away with in surprise, when Xander slid his grip down to his thighs and pulled him up. Spike automatically wrapped his legs around Xander's waist, supporting his back against the wall.

Thrusting became frantic movement as pleasure arched up both spines. It climbed with each movement, each kiss. Until finally, as Xander bit down on Spike's ear, both climaxed. Xander held Spike against the wall for a moment longer, regulating his breathing. Spike watched, eyelids half closed, as Xander began to laugh that strange hyena laugh. Then the sound was cut off and Xander pulled back, letting Spike fall to his feet. A slow grin appeared on Xander's face.

"What are you bloody laughing about?" Spike growled. This only caused Xander to break out into another set of laughs. Shaking his head, Xander sent Spike a kiss before turning and walking away. "Wait a minute! You care to explain this?"

"Why, Spike, I thought you were smart enough to know what happened here." Xander replied, turning at the mouth of the alleyway, a lust filled grin plastered onto his face. Xander let his eyes travel up and down Spike's body. "Mmm, see you later."

"Stupid git." Spike grumbled. He narrowed his eyes at Xander's disappearing back. He remained in the alley for a moment longer, cursing the wet spot now residing in his jeans.

Rupert Giles, Watcher to one of the longest living Slayers, was not having a good day. In fact, his day was so bad it had poured into that night, making it terrible as well. Sighing, Giles watched as Willow and Buffy giggled behind his dusty books. Tara smiled slightly at their chatter, but did not join in. For that Giles was glad. He was having a hard enough time concentrating with those two, he didn't need another girl added to the gossiping fold.

The morning had started with him waking up to someone knocking on his door. There he found Willow, toting a large box of donuts, Buffy, looking sleepy, and Tara, who trailed behind them. That was at six that morning. The rest of the day was spent researching Spirit Union Spells. 

Well, Tara and Giles spent the time researching. From what Giles could gather, there was some frat party that weekend. Buffy and Willow spent most of their time talking about who was going and what would happen and a ton of other things that Giles had long ago given up.

"It is often said that research goes better when you actually read the books your holding." Giles spoke up, setting down his book and pulling off his glasses.

"We're reading." Buffy denied.

"You can hardly read a book upside down." Giles corrected. He was thankful even Buffy had the decency to look sheepish. She quickly flipped the book the right way around, sent Giles a raised eyebrow, and started reading.

"I wonder where Xander is." Willow said softly, breaking the thirty minutes of wonderful silence Giles had desire since morning.

"Probably out searching the city for enemies." Buffy snorted. "Or whatever he's been doing every night."

"What do you think he's been doing to Spike?" Willow asked.

"Who cares?" Buffy countered.

"It's just Spike is always so tense around him. Especially this last week." Willow commented. "It's just so... Un-Spike!"

"You gotta admit, Will, Xander's pretty scary right now." Buffy told her.

"...You don't think Xander is hurting Spike, do you?" Willow suddenly asked, looking slightly worried.

"Again I ask, who cares?" Buffy frowned.

"He does help us out a lot, Buffy." Willow pointed out. "I just don't want to see Xander do something stupid that he'll feel guilty about once he returns to us."

"What about the way he acts with Riley?" Buffy asked in a defensive tone.

"Buffy-"

"He's so rude to him. He growled at him yesterday!" Buffy exclaimed.

"I don't think it's because of the hyena. He's never really cared for Riley." Buffy stared at Tara, causing her to blush heavily. The blonde shifted in her seat and looked away, wishing she had never opened her mouth.

"She does have a very valid point." Giles pointed out. Buffy turned her stare to Giles, upgrading it to a glare. "Honestly, Buffy. Xander never really did care for your boyfriend and it's just coming farther out now that the hyena has taken over."

"You guys don't like him, do you?" Buffy asked in a pouty voice.

"...I never said that." Giles replied, hesitantly. Buffy narrowed her eyes.

"Buffy, we do like Riley. Really, we do." Willow said, coming to Giles' aide. 

"No, you don't trust him!" Buffy lower lip jutted out.

"Buffy... It's just..." Willow waved her hand and turned desperate eyes toward Giles, who shrugged in response. Tara once again shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unsure of what she should do. Willow cleared her throat and turned back to Buffy. "We just-"

"Don't trust him." A calm voice interrupted. They looked over as Xander silently entered Giles' apartment. Xander slipped into a nearby chair, while giving off the air of someone who was in complete control of his surroundings. Xander let his eyes settle on the distraught Buffy, their chocolate brown flashing green. 

"Why not?" Buffy asked, crossing her arms.

"Do you actually think we would trust someone who's life goal is to capture and experiment on those different than himself?" Xander raised a single eyebrow and slouched lazily in his chair.

"They capture demons, Xander." Buffy clarified.

"They capture those who aren't completely normal." Xander corrected. "So, tell me, Slayer. How long do you think it will be for them to come after me? Or to go after Willow and Tara? I'm certain the army would love a man claiming host to a hyena. And they would adore two girls with powers greater than some demons."

"They would not do that, Xander. I trust Riley." 

"Fine. You trust Riley." Xander said. "But do you trust his pack?"

"I'm not having this conversation." Buffy stood, gathering her things. As she made her way out, she turned back and looked carefully at Xander. "Xander... I know your in there. I just want you to know that I'm not mad at you for what that... Hyena is saying. The Initiative... Well, if they were to do anything like what the hyena suggests then I would stop them. I wouldn't let you all get hurt like that."

"I'm glad you have your priorities in the right place." Xander replied, an actual smile developing on his face. "Protect the pack first, even if it's from those you think you love."

Buffy gave a slight, uneasy nod before leaving Giles' apartment. The rest of the gang turned toward Xander, who looked at them with bored eyes. Giles cleared his throat and picked up the book he had abandoned.

"How was your evening, Xander?" Willow asked. Giles sighed and set his book back down. Apparently, there would be no more research for the night.

"Rather boring." Xander said, a strange glint appearing in his eyes.

"Oh?"

"Yes." Xander smirked. "Though, I did run into Spike."

"You didn't hurt him did you?" Willow questioned in a worried voice. Xander chuckled.

"Not at all. In fact, I think he enjoyed our little... Interaction." Xander tone of voice quickly brought a blush to Tara's cheeks and Willow averted her eyes.

"I told you." Willow muttered through the side of her mouth. Tara blushed harder.

Buffy glanced back toward Giles' house, her agitated expression dissolving quickly. Sighing, she adjusted her bag and started for the university. As she crossed a nearby cemetery, the sound of footsteps caught her attention. Whipping around, she looked into the night. Seeing nothing, she turned back around, only to run into a solid body. Letting out a squeak of surprise, Buffy jumped back and fell into fighting stance. When she spotted who it was, she relaxed. 

"Oh, it's you." She said with a scowl.

"Not happy to see me, Slayer?" Spike asked, a smirk on his face.

"Who would be?" Buffy retorted.

"Not nice." Spike said, falling into step with her. "So... Where's the mutt?"

"He's at Giles'." Buffy told him. Then, as a second thought, "And don't call him that."

"I'll call him whatever I like." Spike said stiffly. "After all the shit he's been doing to me, I have that bloody right."

"Aww, has the Big Bad Xander been tormenting wittle Spikey?" Buffy asked. Spike glared, baring his teeth slightly. Buffy snorted in response. "Oh, scary."

"Better believe it." Spike said, causing Buffy to roll her eyes.

"So, do tell, what has Xander been doing to you?"

"Why do you want to know?" Spike replied.

"Because I want to prove Willow wrong." Buffy said. At Spike inquisitive look, she continued. "She thinks that Xander.. Well, the hyena has been flirting with you. Or fawning. Or sexually harassing. I can't really remember her exact words. It's really ridiculous, I mean... You? Why would Xander go after you?"

"Oi!" Spike protested, before gathering an uneasy expression. "He... might. Not that I'm saying he is. But... You never know."

"Oh my God." Buffy gasped, pointing at Spike. Spike looked like he wanted to run. "He has! Oh no, I'm never going to hear the end of it now. Wait until Willow finds out. It'll be 'I told you so' for the rest of the year."

"Oh please." Spike glared. "Your the one getting tormented out of this, sure. As you Americans say: Whatever! I'm the one getting stalked. I'm the one who is getting shoved up against walls. I'm the one who's being sniffed down by Xander, of all people!"

"You enjoy it." Buffy told him, a smirk playing at her lips.

"Do not." Spike denied.

"Do too."

"Not."

"Yes."

"No."

"Ye-" Buffy stopped, her eyes narrowing. "I'm not going to argue with you like a five year old."

"Almost got you to, now didn't I?" Spike smirked.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did-" Buffy caught herself once more. "Oh, shut up! Go away, Spike."

"Why, Slayer, I do believe your in my cemetery." Spike replied.

"I do not know what Xander could possibly see in you." Buffy muttered, stomping away.

Inside Giles' apartment, the research had finally started. While Giles and Tara had been reading all day, Willow actually decided it was high time to join in. Giles sighed in relief and returned to the same book he had been looking at for over three hours, due to certain interruptions.

Xander watched them all from a distance, choosing instead to raid Giles' kitchen for food. By the time midnight rolled around, Giles was ready to call it quits for the day. Closing his book, he turned his neck side to side to work out the nicks.

"Oh! Oh!" Willow bounced, turning excited eyes to Giles. Sighing, Giles merely held out his hand. Willow handed over her book and pointed to the specific passage.

"It's a Spirit Unification Ritual." Willow told him. "I'm not sure the details, the book switched from English to some other language."

"It's Gaelic." Giles replied. "I think that this is exactly what we are looking for."

"And what are you looking for?" Xander asked, sitting down next to Giles.

"Well..." Giles shared a nervous glance with Willow. "We are looking for a spell to fix... Your problem."

"Problem?" Xander raised an eyebrow in a strange reminiscence of Spike.

"We can't separate the hyena from Xander." Giles explained, struggling with how to word everything. "It would be too dangerous to separate you now."

"Yes, it would." Xander said in a cold voice.

"Xander." Willow interjected. "We think the best route is to merge your hyena spirit with your soul."

"Merge?" Xander cocked his head to the side in thought. "And how would this work?"

"Well, first you would have to agree with the ritual." Giles told him. "A ritual such as this can not be done without the objective's permission, otherwise people would be possessing and merging themselves with everyone. The ritual is meant to merge the best factors of the invading spirit, that is the hyena, with the host spirit, which if your soul. You would still be Xander, but you would receive all of the hyena's best qualities. Along with some of the personality traits."

"When do you wish to do this?" Xander asked.

"It needs to be performed on the New Moon." Giles replied. "Which is four days from now."

"I'll think about it and let you know." Xander said softly, his eyes traveling from one person to the next.


	5. Chapter 5

Spike could feel the warmth before he could feel the night. It's a strange feeling to wake up to, warmth everywhere but inside. He could sense someone hovering above him. Then, something weighed down at his hip-line. He felt fingers, and warm palms, sliding under his t-shirt. Slowly, awareness began to take over. A scent tinged the air. Musk and cloves. Blinking open his eyes, Spike stared up at the figure above him. 

"Hello, sweetie." Xander whispered.

"Yarg!" Spike yelped, shoving at Xander. Xander didn't budge from his post.

"What's wrong?" Xander feigned innocence. Spike noticed it looked as fake on Xander as it did on himself.

"What are you doing in my bed?" Spike asked, fighting to stay calm. It wasn't everyday you woke up with a warm body, especially one that was setting of waves of arousal.

"Thought I'd pay you a visit." Xander purred. Spike stayed perfectly still as Xander leaned down and licked his cheek. Xander's lips grazed across his face, then pressed down on his mouth in a gentle kiss.

A human would shove him away, but Spike was not a human. He was a vampire. Vampires, much to his current grief, were almost unable to turn away from a sexual encounter. At least, Spike was unable to. Angel had a high level of tolerance that Spike had never been able to conquer. So when Xander ripped apart his t-shirt, Spike decided to just go with it.

Xander's lips disappeared from his own and he watched, slightly stunned, as Xander sucked one nipple into his mouth. A groan escaped Spike and his hips thrusted upwards. He was naked within seconds, startled by the speed in which Xander moved. And when that first contact of warm flesh against room temperature skin was like bliss. Spike gasped, and despite not needing air, he found himself wanting to pant.

It amazed him how the Zeppo of the Scooby Gang was transformed into this beast. Xander's deep brown eyes didn't hold the laughter that they normally did, instead revealing nothing but primal intelligence coated with lust. Deep down, Spike missed the laughter. Xander's mouth was fighting between a sexy smile and sneer, and Spike knew why. He had his catch, Spike was submitting to him.

Xander's hands toyed with his body, almost like a cat plays with a mouse. Letting it feel content in it's play, right before striking with a killing blow. Spike tried to touch back, to slide his hands across the expanse of Xander's chest, but he would not have it. Xander pinned him to the bed in such a dominant way that Spike found he could only moan with pleasure.

His nipples were teased. That wonderful mouth was everywhere, licking and kissing every inch of his body. His cock hardened, pressing up against Xander's own clothed erection. When the rocking began, Spike was on the verge of begging. He couldn't recall when Xander undressed, the human never left his body long enough to. Yet, Xander's warm, nude body soon pressed down into his. Cock slid against cock. Xander's tongue lapped at his neck. Strong hands pushed apart his legs.

"You can't be serious." Spike gasped out, feeling Xander thrust against him.

"Don't talk." Xander literally growled out the order. The sound of his voice, deep and primal, sent shivers down Spike's spine.

The events following were a bit of a blur for Spike. He couldn't help but be enveloped in the pleasure. Xander's dominance over him seemed to be at it's peak. He was held down, not allowed to move of his own accord. Xander growled in his ear, bit at his neck. All the while, doing wonderful things to his body. Then, having not realized what was truly happening, Spike felt Xander enter him.

There was pain, but not as much pain as he had suspected. The last time Spike had sex with a man was with Angelus, and the psycho-vampire was hardly one to use lubrication. This was a different experience, Spike decided. This was pleasure arching up his spine with each thrust. This was sparks igniting behind his eyes with each stroke of Xander's thick cock. This was heaven.

Xander's arms wrapped around his body, pulling him tight and causing friction to be created between their bodies. He could feel Xander's mouth on his neck, biting down. The need to submit, the desire to allow Xander to control him, was so strong. He couldn't explain it, he couldn't even being to think about why. All he knew was that he needed more.

Spike spread his legs wider, lifting his hips to take more of Xander in. His hands fought their way out of Xander's restraining hold and rested on his back, feeling Xander's muscles work with each thrust forward. He could practically feel the details of Xander's cock, pulsing and hitting his prostrate with dead-on precision.

Xander's teeth remained on his neck, biting down hard without breaking the skin. The thrusting became violent, pleasure reached a peak that was completely unreal. And Spike felt like he was alive. He was a living, breathing creature. He was human. For that small moment, that felt like eternity, when his orgasm hit, Spike's heart was beating.

Xander's teeth broke the surface of his skin as the possessed man came. The vampire was held close, a warm tongue lapping at the wound on his neck. He could feel his body grow heavy, but fought to remain awake. It was night, he should be up and out fighting some nasty. But the orgasm had hit him hard, and before he could stop himself his eyes were closing.

Xander pulled away once he knew the vampire was asleep. He carefully cleaned everything up, taking care to cover Spike up with a blanket. Then quietly, as silently as he had came in, he left. There was no moon outside, not that he expected there to be one. The hyena surveyed the cemetery with sad eyes, taking in every scent and sight. He didn't know if he would be able to experience it all again.

Casting one more look towards Spike's crypt, Xander made his way to the Magic Box. He took his time, knowing it was still early in the evening. The hyena couldn't help but wonder if this was a good idea. If giving up his freedom was right. But deep inside he could feel something, someone. He knew who was in there, in his mind. Trapped; locked inside a cold cage. The same cold cage he had been in for the last few years.

This was his chance. He could tell them no. He could run away, and take Spike with him. He could be free. But he wouldn’t be, and he knew this. The fact that he was mentally calling himself a 'he' was proof enough. The human was a part of him, of her. The hyena no longer thought of himself as the alpha female of a pack of African hyenas. The hyena was different, and had to accept it. Just like the human had to accept the hyena.

Spike awoke about an hour later. Sex still lingered in the air. The vampire took a moment to analyze the situation, and his surroundings. Xander was gone, had been for a while. Spike wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to the boy again. This whole affair was starting to effect him. 

Cursing softly to himself, Spike got dressed and head out into the night. He went looking for trouble, hoping to get into a dangerous fight. He was willing to fight anything at this moment, just to keep his mind from thinking. Yet, even as he staked his fifth vampire, his hand reached up to touch his neck. 

The bite mark was long gone, along with any scar it would produce. Spike was aware of this. He had been a vampire for over a century; he knew how fast he healed. And even living off animal blood, his healing factor was still strong. He supposed that after years on binging on healthy human blood, a bit of pig's blood wasn't going to weaken him. Not yet, at least.

Another cemetery covered, and Spike was still feeling restless. The night was still strong, barely closing in on midnight. He wanted a drink, but every time he went to Willy's he was either kicked out or left to his own depressive thoughts.

"Bloody hell." Spike mumbled when he caught sight of the direction he was heading. Down the street he could see the dim lights of the Magic Box.

Spike did not want to see Xander. He didn't want a reminder to the previous hours of the night. The pure submission that he had participated in sent a coil of agitation and desire to his stomach. Spike wasn't the type to have a fling, he would admit that. He was love's bitch. He didn't sleep around, because he didn't desire to. He loved sex, would hardly give it up, but he always had someone there before. The vampire had spent over the a century with a psycho, possessive female vampire. There wasn't a chance in hell he would of been able to stray. The only person he was able to touch other than Drusilla was Angelus. 

Spike suspected that was his problem. He had been with four people: Drusilla, Angelus, Harmony, and Xander. Even Harmony couldn't be considered a fling. He had spent quite a few months with her, teaching her to hunt and listening to her complain about the bad lighting candles caused. Yet, he hadn't strayed. 

But Xander... That was something different. It was something primal and hungry, so similar to Angelus that Spike wanted more. He desired more, because hadn't he always desired Angelus? Yet this couldn’t end well. Angelus was a fuck, bleed, and shove off the bed type. He made you scream. He made you grip the chains binding you and cry out for more. Xander had nearly done that tonight. He hadn't used chains, or whips, or knives. But he had made Spike feel like he was tied to that bed. He had caused Spike to fall into such a submissive position.

Spike didn't want to like it. He didn't want to enjoy it, but he had. Oh, yeah, he loved it. Spike continued to stare at the store, taking in dim light that shone from the training room in the back. No one was present in the windows.

Sighing, Spike rested against the brick wall of a nearby building. He should go home. He should go buy as much booze as he could afford and send his brain into the abyss. But he couldn't. Spike didn't want to be anywhere near his crypt, or the bed that resided within. He knew it still rank of sex.

Once again he felt his hand travel to his neck, tracing over a patch of skin that, despite being healed, burned with the touch.

What would Drusilla say to his behavior?

The thought was absurd, why should he think of his dark princess right now? But he knew what she would do. She would twirl, her skirts dancing in the night. Her eyes would travel to the stars. And she would talk of dark kittens who were not themselves.

That was the clincher. Spike gulped and focused on the sidewalk beneath his feet. He was not himself. Xander was not Xander, he was an animal with the memories of his boy. His? Yes, Spike supposed he could think of Xander as his. No one would know, now would they?

"Your digging yourself into an early dust pile." Spike told himself.

Spike looked over at the Magic Box, drawn to the large window in the front. Silhouettes could now be seen. It looked like there was a struggle happening. Spike straightened up, preparing to run into the shop if he was needed. Then one figure broke away from a smaller one and the store door opened.

Spike watched in shock as Xander stumbled out of the Magic Box. He looked like he was attempting to run, but was unable to. Behind him, Spike could see Buffy standing in the store's doorway, yelling Xander's name. Xander paid it no mind, instead disappearing into an alleyway. Spike fought with himself a moment, before silently making his way toward the alley. 

He appeared at the mouth, looking into the darkness. Xander was leaning against one wall, breathing in deep gulps of air. Spike watched as he slid down the wall until he was sitting and curled his arms around his knees. Xander's head fell back, hitting the brick with a smack. Even in the dark, Spike could tell Xander was crying.

"Xander?" Spike asked softly, hoping not to startle him. Xander didn't move a muscle, but his breath hitched in response. "Are you okay?"

"Why would you care, Deadboy Junior?" Xander asked, his voice thick with emotion.

"I don't." Spike lied. Xander snorted. "What happened?"

"I thought you didn't care?" Xander looked over at him. Spike shuffled on his feet, before walking over and sitting next to him. Xander flinched, but Spike pretended not to notice. A moment of silence passed over them, while Xander wiped the tears off his face. "They did a spell... I'm back."

"Your..? Oh... Welcome back?" Spike stumbled.

"Oh, yes, welcome back." Xander rolled his eyes. "A lot of good that does... The hyena is still there. But now we are a part of each other. I can feel her there, a part of her is in each and every thought. And that's just what I realized in the past hour. I don't know what's going to be different, but I do know that everything is jumbled..."

"You don't remember?" Spike asked.

"Sort of. It's blurry." Xander admitted. "It's coming back to me. Give me another hour or so and I'll remember everything."

"Oh... Good." Spike replied, making a mental note not to be near Xander when he did remember. Both fell silent. It took Spike a moment, but he finally realized that Xander was staring at him. Slowly, Spike let his gaze meet Xander’s, their eyes locking.

"What..." Xander trailed off, his eyes widening. Spike could only watch as Xander gasped. The vampire refused to acknowledge the feeling of disappointment as Xander ran out of the alleyway, a look of horror etched on his face.

Some time later, Xander stood in the middle of his basement home. The place was a wreck, having not been cleaned it since the hyena was released. But Xander didn't really focus on that part. He was more worried about the fact that he had ran from the Magic Box to home, without getting out of breath. That was definitely unusual. He suspected, which was becoming typical that night, it was hyena's fault.

It was also the hyena's fault that he remember earlier in the evening, with Spike. He, Alexander LaVelle Harris, had sex with Spike. He had sex with Spike. Xander turned that thought over in his mind. "I had sex with Spike."

The idea sounded even more ludicrous out loud than it did in his head. But he knew it to be true. He could remember the event like yesterday. Spike had been so tight and warm. Xander blinked away the thought and fell onto his bed. He shouldn't think about this at all. Even if Spike's moans sounded like heaven and that his skin tasted oddly of spearmint.

"I had sex with Spike." Xander repeated to himself. "I had sex with Spike and enjoyed it. I had sex with Spike and topped."

He should go to bed. That was the best option. Xander nodded and rolled over, not bothering to take off his clothes. The morning would be a better time to think about all of this, Xander was certain. Because right now, his mind was telling him that the idea of having sex with Spike was a good one. And that he should find a way to do it again, as often as possible. Which was silly, because Xander didn't like Spike like that.

"I'm straight." Xander told the room. "Except when I had that crush on Oz... Oh, and the crush on Angel. But besides that, I'm straight."

The room didn't answer him, so Xander decided it wasn't the best thing to talk this out to. He rolled over onto his other side, beating at his pillow to try and form it to his liking. Because he was going to bed; he would fall asleep and not think about any of this. Especially Spike. No thinking about Spike. He was not going to think about how Spike whimpered when he entered him. He was so tight.

"Xander, shut up." Xander ordered himself.

Deep down, Xander didn't think he should be ashamed. He had been under the influence. And even still, he had all the right to have sex with Spike. Spike was his mate after all.

That thought caused Xander to sit up in bed, a look of terror on his face. His brown eyes swept the room, as thought searching for the culprit who put such an idea in his head. Narrowing his eyes, Xander laid back down. He took a deep breath and attempted to calm his nerves. He would wait until tomorrow to think about this. That's what he should be doing, instead of giving himself a heart attack. 

"Tomorrow." Xander said in a determined voice.


	6. Chapter 6

Tomorrow came, and Xander found that he didn't have the energy to think about what was going on with Spike. Instead, he was stuck in a mental showdown, trying to figure out which thoughts were the hyena's and which were his own. What struck as odd, was that they all felt so normal. It wasn't like before.

Before the repossession Xander had been aware of the hyena, but he never actually connected with it. He felt its presence, but didn't speak with it. When he was possessed, both times being included, Xander was the separate being. He still didn't communicate with the hyena. He simply watched from the inside. 

But now, after the spell, Xander didn't feel the hyena as a separate entity. Xander could see differences in his thinking, his body, and his senses. He was quicker. He was stronger. He could smell each and every scent. He could hear a whispered conversation between his parents on the second floor if he chose to. He saw the Scooby Gang and knew, without even debating, that they were his pack. The only difference was that he wasn't feeling so controlling over them. Which Xander thought was a good thing, because Buffy was once again falling into her theme song: I'm every Slayer, it's all in me.

One week. That was how long Xander took to avoid and ignore Spike. Spike seemed to understand this, in some way, because he never showed up when Xander was around. Or maybe it was a coincidence. Xander wasn't really comfortable with the idea of Spike thinking about him, even if it was just to decide whether to be around him or not. Xander wasn't comfortable about thinking of Spike, period. Yet he seemed to do more of that than anything.

It was unnerving. Annoying. Disturbing. In other words, he hated it. This vampire was the enemy. Okay, so maybe that was a bit dramatic. But at the moment, Xander wanted that sort of drama. Instead of the drama he was now facing. Honestly, you would think the demons in this town would take a rest.

"What did it look like?" Giles was asking. Buffy waved her arms around in exaggeration before answering.

"It was huge! And green."

"Large and of green coloration?" Giles asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Buffy nodded.

"Anything else?" Giles questioned.

"It was kind of dark." Buffy told him.

"Alright." Giles sighed and began pulling mountains of books off of shelves to look through. Xander let out a breath of frustration before accepting a stack of books. 

That's when Spike showed up. Xander stiffened immediately, not looking over his shoulder to see the blonde vampire. He knew that's who it was, without seeing him. The way his boots echoed off the floor and the slight scent of leather and menthol cigarettes gave him away. Xander found himself breathing in that scent, his body suddenly feeling calm just by the smell. In the back of his head, his mind was in an uproar of excitement. He felt the strange need to rush over to Spike and check him for injuries.

Xander pushed the thought away.

"Spike, what do you want?" Buffy asked with agitation. 

"Though I'd come by and see if there are any new nasties." Spike said calmly. He risked a glance at Xander, only to find him staring forward in concentration. He looked back at Buffy. She raised an eyebrow at him. Frowning, Spike walked over to a nearby hair and slumped down in it.

"I saw a strange demon earlier, otherwise it's been slow." Buffy admitted.

"What have you been up to?" Willow asked.

"Little of this and little that." Spike grinned. "Miss me, Red?"

"No more than usual." Willow replied. "Though, I can think of someone who missed you more."

"Is that so?" Spike asked, tilting his head. Willow grinned and allowed her eyes to travel over to Xander's stiff form. "So, whelp, how is your recovery going?"

"Huh? Recovery?" Xander frowned in confusion.

"Was wondering if you still felt those primal urges." Spike told him, smirking. Xander blushed heavily. "I miss having a stalker, even if it was you."

"I didn't stalk you." Xander grounded out through gritted teeth, his face turning even brighter. Spike nodded sagely. "I didn't! It wasn't my fault!"

"Oh?"

"It... You!" Xander stammered. "If you didn't smell so damn good none of this would of happened!"

Silence filled the room. Xander could feel the tension, he could smell the shock. Deep within, he felt something stir. Slowly, he looked up at the vampire. Spike looked like he wanted to run away, at least that's what his features let out. Xander could tell the difference, though. His scent had changed. Morphing from amusement to shock to the smallest amount of unease to finally settling on what Xander could only identify as arousal. 

Spike's clear blue eyes met his, and Xander's mind screamed.

Xander stood abruptly, knocking the book in his lap onto the floor. In one smooth movement he spun on his heel and stormed out the door. He could feel the vampire behind him. He walked away from the Magic Box, unaware of his actual destination. His whole mind was centered on the being a few feet away.

Spike watched Xander ahead of him. The boy was moving fast, at a running speed despite only walking. Or rather, from Spike's stand point, sauntering. They were a good distance from the Magic Box when Xander whipped around. Spike felt inhumanly strong hands grab his leather duster by the lapels. He was dragged forward and then slammed against the nearest wall. Gasping for un-needed breath, Spike shook his head to clear his vision and stared down at angry chocolate brown eyes.

"Problem, love?" Spike asked softly, ignoring Xander's painful grip.

"Yeah, Spike, I do have a problem." Xander growled. Spike gulped at the animalistic way Xander spoke. "Take a guess, Spike. Take a wild guess. Why am I so angry? Take a fucking guess."

"I don't-"

"You must know, Spike." Xander interrupted, his eyes flashing. Spike felt, deep within, slightly relieved that they were not glowing green. They remained brown, and Spike hoped that meant Xander was still himself.

"Harris-" Xander pressed Spike harder against the wall. "I mean, Xander. I really don't know what you're on about. Now put me down."

"No." Xander replied, leaning in close. "I won't put you down. You can't order me around, Spike."

"I figured that out, mate." Spike glared. 

"Good." Xander grinned slowly, a sight that sent shivers down Spike's spine. "Now, why am I so mad at you? It's an interesting thing, Spike. Very interesting."

"Care to share?" Spike asked.

"I think I will." Xander said. "You see, I have a problem with you staring me down like some minion. I have a problem with you insulting me in front of the pack."

"I was doing no such thing." Spike denied quickly.

"Liar. Liar. Pants. On. Fire." Xander said slowly. His teeth suddenly looked sharp in the lighting, giving Xander a feral look. Spike closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, Xander's eyes had taken on a completely different aspect.

"What do you want?" Spike asked, his voice sounding loud in the surrounding silence. And for a moment Spike begged for a demon to show up. He begged for a way out of this conversation and Xander's bruising hands.

"I remember, you know." Xander suddenly announced. "I remember the hyena watching you, smelling you. From a steel cage in my own mind I watched you writhe and twist in pleasure under the hyena. Those memories... I know they are not fully mine, but they feel like it. They feel as real to me as they are to you. Do you remember, Spike? Me thrusting inside of you? Filling you up?"

Spike whimpered, a sound that was extremely soft. Xander heard it non the less.

"You do? That's wonderful." Xander tilted his head. "The hyena is now me, Spike. We are one. So, tell me, how does it feel? How do you feel knowing that you submitted yourself to the Zeppo? And so easily..."

"Bugger off." Spike growled. He didn't want to be aroused by Xander's words. He could handle thinking it was the hyena. That it was a strong predator that sneaked it's way into his senses and managed to strip him of his own defenses. But he could smell it on Xander. The predatory gaze. The scent of arousal and strength. Dominance. Alpha.

"I'd rather bugger you." Xander replied, a soft chuckle escaping his throat.

"It won't happen." Spike replied. Xander pressed his body against Spike's, releasing his hold of the duster. Spike slid down the wall, trapped between cold brick and a warm body. He looked up and met Xander's eyes defiantly, but he did not move.

Xander's face was close to his own, but Spike refused to make a sound. Even when Xander's scent enveloped him, a new mixture of animal and man, Spike cut off his moan. He tried to ignore Xander. But when Xander's lips met his own, Spike was unable to resist. The pressure sent a wave of what could only be described as tingles down his body.

Opening his mouth to the attack, Spike squeezed his eyes closed and hoped he was imagining this. His mind and body seemed to be a total odds. Mentally, he wanted to stop Xander. Get him away before more happens. Physically, he craved the touch. Something within him reacted to Xander in a way that was more powerful than before their moment of sexual bliss. Something told him that this was right. This was, inevitably, what he needed.

Xander's tongue slipped into his mouth, caressing his gums and teeth. It stroked his now blunt canines and a feeling that Spike could never explain washed through him. A loud groan escaped. Xander pulled back and smiled. His brown eyes looked near black, the eye-lids drooped in lust. Xander breathed calmly, continuing to hold the vampire against the wall while he panted.

"Isn't it amazing?" Xander asked softly. "You know... I hated this idea. I really despised the notion that I could want you, need you... Crave you. But I do, Spike. And I'm tired of fighting it, how about you? I know. You better believe I know."

"You don't know anything." Spike growled.

"Don't I?" Xander smirked and slide one hand down the front of Spike body until it rested on his hardening cock. He squeezed the cloth-covered bulge. "Didn't that kiss make your insides burn and your mind roar to life? It certainly made something come to life."

"Stop." Spike demanded, though it was a weak attempt.

"You sure?" Xander asked, though he did move his hand away.

"Positive." Spike said. He closed his eyes again, blocking out the view of Xander's pleasantly smiling face. How could the whelp be so calm about this? To Spike, the whole scenario was bizarre, and he was a vampire so he had seen some weird things.

"Spike." Xander literally hummed the word. "William the Bloody. I rather like that. It's better than Spike. It's sexier."

"Look, mate, I-"

"Mate?" Xander interrupted. Spike opened his eyes, connecting with the thoughtful browns. "You are, you know. That's why I feel this way. That's the reason."

"I'm not your mate, Xander." Spike said slowly, hoping to break through the man's thick brain.

Xander suddenly jerked back, stumbling away from him. His face had a look of fury that Spike had only seen directed towards him once before, when he had kidnapped Red. Spike stayed perfectly still, not wanting to startle Xander in anyway. Xander was pacing, his eyes flashing like a wild animal. Spike could literally see the struggle through those eyes.

Xander felt lost. He felt angry, scared, and confused. But mostly he felt lost. What was happening? He could feel the tingle that Spike's lips had left on his own, he could taste him in his mouth. Xander covered his face with his hands and sat down on the sidewalk with a thump. His mind was pounding and heart was catching up to the fast rhythm. Thoughts whirled through his mind. He could only catch fragments.

Find mate.

Get away from Spike.

What's going on?

Find mate.

Explain. Explain. Explain. 

Find mate. Dominate mate.

Why am I think this way?

Check on Spike. Make sure he's okay.

Explain myself.

Protect mate.

Mate? Xander didn't understand at all. Curling up his legs, he wrapped his arms around his knees and rested his forehead against them. His breathing finally calmed. Behind him he could sense Spike. No heartbeat, no breathing. Just a still figure, setting of a scent of confusion and frustration. Xander understood Spike's turmoil perfectly. He didn't know what was going either.

He knew this much: It had to be the union of the hyena and himself. Maybe he just needed to adjust to this. Perhaps this is what Angel feels like with his soul, with two separate beings constantly battling it out. But Xander wasn't exactly battling the hyena anymore, was he? They were joined, a perfect union. Xander was battling his own thoughts. Those were his thoughts.

His mate.

The thought hit him like a ton of bricks and he felt a shudder run through his body. Spike must be laughing his ass off. But the vampire wasn't moving. Instead he watched with wary eyes as Xander shivered the in the warm California night air. He didn't approach him, he couldn't approach him. His own insides were churning, like something was setting an alarm off.

What was going on?


	7. Chapter 7

Spike left Xander sitting on the street corner. On a normal night, he would of pointed out the stupidity of being a human, out at night, and all alone. But he realized Xander was no longer human. However the rest of the world viewed him, they were wrong. Spike didn't think Xander had been human for a long time. 

In fact, he used to think that Xander was the most boring of the Scooby Gang. He was the dopey human boy with a big grin and no special powers. Spike could admit even now that he had always felt something within Xander Harris, but ignored it because it was so faint and small it was no more than a tickle at his spine. It was much later, from Angel turned Angelus, that he would learn of the Hyena.

Spike pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his duster and proceeded with lighting it. After one glance back, which revealed at a far distance Xander was still sitting at the curb, Spike walked toward the cemetery and out of sight.

He didn't care if Xander was attacked. No, that was a lie. Spike muttered a curse.

It wasn't that he wanted to care. And that was just the problem. He didn't, with all his demon, want to care. Yet, Spike had never been normal. He could accept that; he's had to accept that. He felt things most vampires did not feel, even among his own vampire family.

Drusilla was wicked, pure and simple. She seemed naive, like a child almost, but she had a mind that could create the most disturbing way of murder. She had the drive to pull it through, too. Darla was a leader, the type to tell someone what to do then watch with glee as blood was splattered everywhere. And then there was Angelus... He was a sex fiend. A murderer. A psycho. And most of all, he was intelligent. He was able to be at his worst, trying to destroy the world, and yet still be able to plot and kill without fail. He felt no guilt. He was more cruel and sexual than any other vampire Spike had ever met.

Spike wasn't like that. He did have the nickname Spike, due to torturing victims with railroad spikes. He had committed those crimes. He had murdered nearly one hundred people with only a spike and a hovering Drusilla. Nearly one hundred people. It sounds like a lot, but it's not. Angelus killed that many people in a week. It took Spike ten years to reach that number. It was pure horror, once he had done the deed. The area of bathed in blood and the body hardly identifiable.

Out of over one hundred years as a vampire, Spike had only tortured one hundred people. He had killed many for food, but most of those feedings were swift, unless Drusilla wanted to play. All the years, aside from the ten years that led to his knew nickname, he has been both alive and undead were spent doing things that most vampires didn't do. The first fifty years was a time that, if Spike would admit it, were a little embarrassing.

While most vampires kept certain qualities from their human guise (Drusilla remained psychic, Angelus was still a lady's man, etc.) most dropped their core being. Drusilla would no longer speak of her Catholic upbringing. Darla never mentioned her human period. Angelus didn't rebelled, though he did kill and maim - it was in no way a sense of rebellion on his part, more embracing his nature. Spike, though, could still feel the pressure of an ink pen against his fingers and the feel of parchment.

He collected books, candles, and art. He wrote stacks and stacks of poetry (though, admittedly, they were much darker than before). Most of all, he loved. He truly loved Drusilla, and even now, when he knows they are over, he cares about her.

Maybe there was something wrong with him. Spike didn't know, and right now he didn't want to care. He wanted to stop thinking. To stop wondering if Xander was okay. To stop feeling as though his heart was shattering with every step he took that was away from Xander.

Spike stopped in front of his crypt, staring at the door with what could only be described as disdain. He hated it here. Oh, sure, he enjoyed Sunnydale to a certain degree, but this crypt... It was dank and dark and everything that Spike had come to despise in his vampire years. He was pampered, and this place was as far from what he liked as it could get. 

Most of all, it was empty.

"You're a pathetic twit." Spike told himself, before kicking the door open and sauntering inside.

Down the street from the Magic Box, Xander was still sitting. He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them, his forehead resting on his arms. There was a noise in the distance, and Xander's skin prickled. Looking skyward, he saw the signs of rain.

Knowing he should get home, Xander glanced toward the Magic Box, noting it's darkness as a signal that his friends had left. In the opposite direction was emptiness and a single street lamp. The slight scent of leather and menthol told him Spike had left not long before. Sighing, Xander allowed his gaze to settle on the pavement. 

His mind, though still turbulent in it's depths, had settled for the moment. He was willing to let this whole scenario ride out to the end. He knew, without a doubt, that it would happen that way whether he fought it or not and frankly he was tired of fighting life on the Hellmouth. It would be so simple to simply give into these new urges and instincts, to take them and mold them to himself fully by accepting. But he understood without a doubt that accepting the instincts would mean accepting Spike as his mate.

Much to Xander's grief, he was having trouble deciding why that was wrong.

"Because you hate Spike." Xander whispered aloud. "...Alright, maybe not so much anymore. He's grown on you... Like a tick he digs into the skin and you can't pull him out. He even drinks blood like one."

An echoing sound interrupted Xander mini-dialogue. Blinking, Xander looked down the dark street, but even with his better vision he could not see anything. Taking a quick glance at his watch, he decided that it was time to get home. Xander stood, stuffing his hands into his pockets, and turned toward home.

His feet made soft noises on the pavement. His breath remained quiet, there was barely a sound on the street. Then, turning around one corner, Xander felt the air catch in his chest and his heart begin to pound. Standing before him was the demon Buffy had described. Seven feet tall and green. It's arms waved from side to side, as though made of water. It's white eyes met his and the demon's nostrils flared as it scented the air.

Xander knew full well that the hyena was a part of him, but at that moment it became apparent that sometimes he was still as clumsy as ever. After that single moment of tension, the demon had sped forward, howling. Xander stumbled backward, tripping over his feet. Spinning, he finally got his footing and began to do the only thing that would come to mind: He ran.

He wasn't being a coward, he knew that. It was only him against a huge demon that would probably be a hard fight for Spike and Buffy combined. This was a survival moment, and his mind screamed to run faster. His instincts, hidden and interlocking with his mind, howled for him to call help. To retrieve the pack and then, after they had grouped and assessed the enemy, take back their territory.

Xander barely made it onto the street of the Magic Box before the demon had a hold on him. A jelly-like hand squished his shoulder in a shockingly tight and painful grip. Xander was pulled back and then spun. His chest connected first with the brick wall, followed by his head. Stars filled his vision and pain laced his thoughts. Xander let out a harsh growl, a warning.

He could feel the tall demon behind him. There were now two hands against him, one holding him hard against the wall, the other trailing down his spine in a movement that sent shivers across Xander's body, and not the kind associated with pleasure. Xander's mind cried to break down, to simply be, but his human mind couldn’t help but run through scenarios of what this demon wanted with him. A whimper escaped his throat, overlapping and replacing the growl.

"So pretty." The demon announced in a strange accented voice. The wandering hand of jelly suddenly latched onto Xander buttocks, squeezing painfully.

Xander held his breath and pressed his hands against the cool brick to steady himself. Then, with a sudden burst of anger and speed, he jerk back and connected the top of his head with the demon's chin. The demon grunted, momentarily disgruntled. Xander whipped around and prepared to launch an attack at the demon, in order to drive it off. But instead, Xander was met with one thick fist.

The demon's hand once against gripped his shoulder, pressing and grinding his back against the wall. Xander looked up at the demon, showing nothing but anger on his face while the demon looked highly amused. He could feel a bruise forming on his face and chose to concentrate on that minor pain instead of give into the brutal torture that would no doubt follow.

Spike stared at his broken television. The black screen stared back at him. He could feel something, something alien, in the back of his mind. Spike quickly ignored it and continued to stare at the black screen, urging it to work and play an episode of Passions or a bloody horror flick. He sighed. This was, he decided, boring.

Then the pain began. It was sharp and quick, stretching across one side of his chest to the other, then centering at his heart. Spike leapt to his feet, hand clutching his chest. He would look to any that spotted him as a man undergoing the horror of a heart attack. The pain was so intense that Spike could not hide the agony from his face. His demon shifted, his eyes yellow, and then pain exploded.

Once it had faded, his chest returning to a cold and beat less portion of his body, Spike lay on the floor and gasped for un-needed breath. His face flickered, undecided on which form to remain, before settling on human. Spike closed his eyes and tried to not think about what just happened. Something had happened, something that didn't seem normal, but Spike wanted to be ignorant for just one moment.

Something warmed in his body, a warning of something to come. The something appeared to be another shock of pain. Arching his back, Spike struggled onto the floor to hold back a scream. Then, as quickly as it appeared it was gone, but this time something was left over. He felt it in his chest, a soft thudding and a strange sensation. Warmth spread through him, his body tingled.

His heart was beating.

"Bloody hell." Spike breathed.

But the blissful moment of feeling something he had not experienced in forever was gone by the time the words had left his mouth. His body cooled, returning to room temperature. His chest stilled. And in his mind, he knew. He simply knew, without thinking about it and without debating, that his mate was in trouble.

For a split second he wanted to deny that anyone was his mate. He didn’t mate, like a wolf or... Hyena...

Spike jerked to a sitting position, his eyes wide. Quickly, he got to his feet and, only stopping to grab his leather duster, he literally ran out of the crypt. On a normal night, the trip from his crypt to the Magic Box was actually a short one. On this night, however, it felt like eternity. By the time he reached the correct street, Spike literally felt he was too late for whatever he was meant to do. Then he spotted the tall, green demon. 

At it's feet, a body was crumpled. A puddle emitted from Xander, indicating a small, yet steady, stream of blood loss. Xander's shirt was ripped apart and his jeans looked as though they were about to fall off. Anger surged inside Spike. He couldn't explain it. In fact, he didn't want to explain it. Right then, the only thing crossing his mind was killing, murder, bloodshed, and every other violent thing that came to mind.

The demon never knew what hit him. A strong and solid body launched into his side. Fists, feet, and every thing available was beating into him. Then, with one swift movement a searing pain erupted in his neck, bones cracked, and he fell to the ground in a dead pile. 

Spike stared down at the demon's body, in demon face and emitting a continuous growl. A soft whimper broke into his empty, heated thoughts. Darting forward, he gently turned Xander until he lay on his back. Bruises and scratches were littered across Xander's body. The blood appeared to be the product of a deep gash across his right side, near the same spot the snake-demon has scratched Xander - A wound that had started everything.

"Xander?" Spike spoke softly, watching Xander’s face intently. Xander’s eyes fluttered and suddenly there was a gravelly sound vibrating through Xander's chest. Spike's hand lightly rested on an undamaged area, feeling the rumble as Xander actually purred.

Spike could remember the one time this had happened before, when the hyena had first appeared and taken over. When Xander was huddled in the corner of the Magic Box, scared and unsure of his surroundings. Spike knew it was for the same reason as before: comfort. To ensure to himself that his body was intact, he was alive, and he would make it. Spike understood the sentiment, even though - contrary to a strange belief - vampires didn't purr.

"Xander, love?" Spike leaned close to the mortal, watching as a pair of eyes opened. Spike held back his gasp at the sight. Xander's eyes were still brown, but the outer rim of his iris was glowing bright green. The green flashed, before dimming back to the normal chocolate color.

"Spike?" Xander asked, his voice weary.

"Yeah, love, it's me." Spike smiled slightly. "You okay?"

"Does it look like I'm okay?" Xander asked, trying to sit up. The purr slowly faded as Xander propped himself against the brick wall. He stared over at the dead body of the demon, watching as it slowly began to evaporate. Spike could see the shiver that ran through him.

"What happened?"

"I was entering a level normally restricted to Angel when Mr. Jelly over there decided he liked my ass." Xander replied calmly. Spike growled and shot the decomposing corpse a dirty look. When he turned back to Xander, he frowned at the amused look. "Why are you here?"

"I don't believe that's any of your business, is it?" Spike replied, before caving at the slightly pained look in Xander's eyes. He eyed the gash in Xander's side and grabbed a part of the ripped up shirt to slow the bleeding. "Something happened when I got home, is all. Don't know if that has anything to do with it or not, but afterwards I just kind of knew... I had to get to you. To protect you. Bugger, this is stupid."

"I called for you." Xander whispered. Spike's head shot up and he stared at Xander in minor shock. For some reason, he had been expecting that. "I couldn't get away and I just wanted my mate. You don't believe me, I know you don't. But I don't care, Spike. I don't care. You're my mate, and I wont share you with anyone. You're mine."

A series of emotions shot across Spike's face, before landing on a mix of arousal and thought. Spike's eyes dropped to Xander's chest, at the location of his heart. He could feel the echo of early in his own, the split second when he had a heartbeat. While that was something he needed to get to the bottom of, this thing with Xander was just as important. Xander was important. Spike looked back into Xander's eyes.

"Bloody hell, what do you expect me to do here?" Spike asked. 

"Honestly?" Xander raised an eyebrow, before wincing slightly as the pain in his body became more noticeable. "I want you to admit that you feel something here. I want you to claim me as I have claimed you. I want you to admit to my claim on you. Mostly, I want to fall in love with you and for you to do the same. As stupid as that may sound, it's true."

"I'm a vampire, Xander." Spike said. "I can't fall in love."

"That's a lie and you know it, Spike." Xander replied.

"Is it?" Spike tilted his head. He felt something inside him ache at that moment. Before he could stop himself, he reached forward and lightly stroked Xander's cheek. The moment their skin touched the ache was gone, replaced with a small sense of pleasure. Spike simply knew that they had a bond, however small it was at the moment. He could fight it, or run with it.

"You're full of emotion, you know." Xander told him. "If you can hate and laugh, why can't you love?"

"Well, that's the question isn't it?" Spike smirked lightly before sighing. "Come on, pet. Let's get you home."


	8. Chapter 8

Spike sat in the uncomfortable chair that he had once slept in, back when he had been forced to live with Xander. He watched from his post as Xander's eyes moved behind their lids, indicating a dream. Xander had fallen asleep the moment they had stumbled into his basement home. Spike, instead of returning to his lonely crypt, had opted to remain there and watch over Xander. It gave him time to think. Which had became apparent the moment his mind began to run and scream in different directions. 

Mate. Xander wanted him as a mate, and would not take no for an answer. Spike wasn't sure he should be protesting loudly, or giving in. He was mixed with the idea. With Drusilla it had been so easy. She came to him, told him she wanted him and made him hers. He could not get away. He didn't want to. She had taken his soul, leaving him no place to turn.

With Xander, it was different. On first glance, it seemed the same. But in reality, Spike could leave if he truly wanted to. But did he? Drusilla had taken from him, hardly ever giving back. Xander... Xander was retrieving his soul. Handing it to him, first on a silver platter and now with a violent shove that resulted in two beats of the heart and a rupture of pain.

Spike still wasn't sure if the pain he had experienced earlier had anything to do with Xander. He thought it might, but thoughts and assumptions would get him nowhere. Instead, Spike leaned back in his chair and focused once more on Xander's sleeping form. His eyes lingered on the gash in his side. It looked to be already knitting, after Spike had cleaned and disinfected it. Maybe the hyena aided in healing, Spike wasn't sure. Still, it looked to be doing better. He would have a scar, but it would be fine.

Spike could hear voices in the kitchen above. Xander's father slurred against his mother's mutters. They were fighting. Spike immediately blocked them off. He rested his thumb against his bottom lip, stroking it slightly. He wanted a cigarette, but would not risk disturbing Xander's sleeping form.

And why should he care?

The thought hit Spike in full forced, but was quickly beat into submission. Why? It was rather simple, once he thought about it. This was, after all, Xander Harris. The White Knight. The Zeppo. Clever and bright and everything Spike could not be. 

"Fuck." The word echoed long after Spike said the word. He knew, without a single doubt, that he was in for the long haul. And it angered him, but calmed at the same time. Such a complicated emotion, despite how easily he fell into it. He truly was Love's Bitch.

"Hmmm, whu?" Xander blinked his eyes open and looked at Spike with sleep induced shock. "Spike?"

"Hey, pet." Spike whispered from his seat. He didn't move over to Xander side, despite the small part of him that wanted to.

"Oh, ow. Okay, I feel like I've been hit by a semi." Xander groaned. He moved a little, seemingly to sit up, but then gave up and slumped back onto the bed. "What time is it?"

"About eight." Spike said.

"AM or PM?"

"AM."

"Oh, early. Too early." Was Xander's response, right before he rolled over and fell back to sleep. 

Spike chuckled to himself before returning to his thinking. Which only caused him to mutter a curse at himself. He was turning into Angel, and it was truly annoying. Grumbling, Spike stood and walked over to the couch. He fell back onto it and turned on the television, allowing the drama of daytime TV. to lighten his mind.

Xander was awoken three hours later by a nearly controlled scream. His eyes shot open and he sat up in bed, ignoring the minor pain that shot through his body. Blinking away sleep induced blurry vision, Xander was greeted with a sight that caused his blood to halt in his veins. Spike had fallen off the couch and was now twisting on the floor, one hand gripping his chest.

"Spike?" Xander managed to get over to Spike's panting form. A low whine was emitting from Spike's mouth, breaking into small cries. "Spike? Spike!"

Spike twitched on the ground, his face morphing into vampiric features. His yellow eyes rolled back in his head. Then, with a loud gasp, Spike stopped moving. Xander kneeled next to him, his hands hovering over Spike's still form. A small spasm went through Spike's body. Spike's face seemed to flush. Xander gently rested his hand on Spike's chest, before jerking back in surprise.

"Spike!" Xander yelped, eyes wide. "Spike? Spike! Oh god, you have a heart beat. You have a heart beat! Spike?"

Spike's eyes slowly opened, returning to his human form, and locked with Xander's. Taking in a ragged breath, Spike was unsure if he really needed it or not. He had the urge to breath, just for that moment. And for that moment, he was filled with pumping blood and warmth. His veins burned. His heart ached, but it beat like sweet music. Blinking, Spike stared at Xander's worried face, focusing on what was happening. He knew in a moment it would all be over. He wanted to savor the feeling of life, no matter how small. 

The shattering pain wracked his body, concentrating on his veins and heart. It ended before he could make a sound and his chest calmed, the residue of the momentary burn easing away. His eyesight blurred a moment, before clearing. Xander still sat next to him, his shoulders shuddering in some strange effort against crying. 

"Spike?" Xander's voice was hoarse, as though he had been the one screaming.

"Xan..." Spike shook his head, unsure of what to say. Slowly, he sat up and found himself deceptively close to Xander. 

"Are you okay?" Xander asked with such worry and care that Spike nearly felt like bursting into tears. But he didn't feel it, so instead he sighed and leaned forward. Xander allowed Spike the comfort of resting his head on Xander's shoulder.

"It burned." Spike said, his voice a near whimper.

"Was this what you were talking about?" Xander pulled back to look Spike in the eye. "When you said last night that something strange had happened?"

"Yeah." Spike replied.

"I don't understand." Xander shook his head. "Your heart was beating, Spike. You were warm, like a human. But... I could still feel the demon. I could smell the strength and scent of it."

"I don't know what's happened, love." Spike said, before struggling to his feet. He grabbed his duster from where he had left it on the chair. "But I'm planning on finding out."

"Where are you going?" Xander asked, his voice stern and full of authority. Spike stopped mid-step and glanced at Xander. The brunette was dressed in wrinkled clothes and his hair was standing on end, plastered at one side, and yet he still managed to send that submissive shiver through the vampire.

"The Watcher's." Spike replied honestly. "I figured I could ransack his library."

"Do you actually expect him to allow that?" Xander asked, highly amused.

"Don't see why not!" Spike frowned. "Oh, bugger. Fine. You want to come, then?"

"Hmm..." Xander looked down at his clothes, then at Spike. "Let me get dressed."

"Hurry up, then." Spike grumbled. Xander smirked slightly before pulling off his shirt. Spike, in a strange case of modesty, tried not to look. But curiosity and the fact that he was a perverted vampire finally got the best of him and he looked over to find Xander in just his boxers, bending over to put on a pair of jeans. The wound in Xander's side was still knitting itself, so it wasn't a shock when Xander let out a tiny gasp of pain. 

Spike, ignoring the part of him that was asking what he was doing, rushed over to help. He straightened Xander out and then bent down and pulled up the other man's pants. Xander watched him with a heated look as he zipped and buttoned him up. Spike avoided his gaze and aided in the shirt's placement as well. When they were finished, Xander's hand suddenly grabbed Spike's. Pulling the vampire closer, Xander kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Let's go." Xander whispered, turning away from the mildly shocked vampire.

"What do you think you're doing?" Giles exclaimed, yanking off his glasses and cleaning them with vigor.

"Researching." Xander said simply. Spike rolled his eyes from his spot at the table and returned to squinting at the book. Giles sighed and turned on a nearby light, making the inner workings of the Magic Box light up. "Huh, why didn't I think of that?"

"What, exactly, are you researching?" Giles asked, watching Spike oddly as the vampire continued to hold the book close to his face. "Spike... Eyesight problems?"

"Wuh?" Spike looked up and if he could, he would of blushed. The look quickly faded and was replaced by agitation. "If you must know, Watcher, I wore specs when I was a bloody human."

"Ah." Was Giles' response, before turning back to Xander expectantly. Xander sighed.

"I'm researching vampire physiology, if you must know." Xander told him. 

"And why would you need to look that up?" Giles asked, raising an eyebrow. Xander looked over at Spike, who ignored them both. It was apparent that the vampire was listening to their conversation, though.

"Well, you see..." Xander trailed off, his eyes distant.

"Xand-"

"Sex!" Xander belted out. Giles stopped mid-word and stared at Xander, his mouth hanging open. Spike didn't look much better. Xander's eyes darted around the room, before landing once again on Giles. "I was curious about... Vampire sex."

"That's right!" Spike agreed, perking up at the look of distraught on the Watcher's face. "Xander was so curious, you know. And who am I to say no to aiding in the downward spiral of humanity? Offered to help look, I did."

"How... Very thoughtful of you." Giles replied. He blinked in confusion, before pulling of his glasses and wandering away. Spike turned to Xander with a grin that matched a child in a candy store. 

Xander felt a spark of desire at the sight and sent Spike a feral grin, fully displaying what he was thinking. Spike's cheek twitched, but he showed no sign of registering the look on Xander's face. Ignoring Xander, Spike returned to his book.

An hour later, Xander was getting impatient. He wanted to prowl and hunt, though if he was honest with himself he couldn't explain just why he wanted to hunt. Still, it seemed like a good idea at the time, and after reading book after book about vampire hunting habits, Xander was willing to give it a go. But he didn't get the chance to voice his opinion to Spike, knowing full well the vampire would jump at the chance of kicking some literal arse. Instead, he was faced with Spike slipping out of his chair and onto the floor in a twitching, screaming pile.

Xander leaped from his seat, throwing the book in his hands a few yards. Giles came running in from the training room and both men stared down at Spike, who held his chest with one hand and clawed at the floor with the other. Xander rushed toward his mate, quickly wrapping his arms around Spike's body. He felt something in his chest vibrate, and was shocked to hear himself begin to purr. Nuzzling his neck, Xander watched Spike twist and yelp in his arms, before the vampire went limp.

"Bloody hell." Giles breathed, kneeling down to look at the vampire. Xander growled under his breath, but made no move to stop Giles from reaching out a hand to rest on Spike's heaving chest. The older man's eyes widened in shock, his mouth fighting to form words. "Xander... He's-He's!"

"Got a bleedin' heart beat." Spike cursed from within Xander's hold.

"This is... Amazing." Giles stated in awe. "How did this happen?"

"We don't know. Why do you think I chose to actually volunteer to read?" Xander asked.

"Hmm... Well, there is a book on vampires that might help, called Whisper of the Soul." Giles mused, pausing as Spike let out a whimper and his heart beat stilled. "Fascinating."

"Giles? The book?"

"Hmm? Oh! Yes, well, the book." Giles' face turned thoughtful. "It is write by a man named Eric Michophlegn. He is the top demon physiologist in the trade, as you can imagine. Now... The book, if I recall correctly, only has a small section on living phenomena in an undead body." Spike blinked open his eyes, took in an un-needed breath, and watched as Giles grabbed a book from the nearby shelf. "Here it is!"

"Well, what does it say?" Xander asked impatiently, his gravelly purr coming to a stop.

"Huh." Was all Giles said. Xander growled under his breath. Spike slowly sat up and gave Xander an uneasy look. 

The pain from this attack had been less severe than before. He could write it up to him getting used to it, but he knew there was more to it. When Xander had pulled him into his arms, the scorching heat that was flowing through his veins seemed to dim considerably. Spike had to admit it was unnerving, and not for the first time scary. This draw toward Xander hadn't left when the hyena and the human was fused together. Instead, he found himself wanting more than before.

Xander's eyes locked with Spike's, filled to the edge with compassion. Spike almost wanted to hit Xander, for actually caring. He was a vampire. A demon. What had he possibly done in his lifetime to be gifted a chance with Xander Harris?

"Apparently, due to the make-up of the vampire, you can only discover an ailment such as this through two things." Giles announced, breaking into Spike's thoughts.

"Get it out, Watcher." Spike glared, climbing to his feet and slumping back into his chair. Xander watched him a moment from his perch on the floor before standing with a fluid movement and returning to his own seat. Spike fought down a shock of lust. He knew Giles would not appreciate Spike launching himself a Xander and baring his neck in offering.

"The first is... Dissection." Giles said. Spike's eyes closed at the word and small flashes of memories echoed in his head. He could almost feel the chip throb in his head. "Oh, honestly, Xander. You can stop growling at me. I can assure you I had no intention of inflicting pain on Spike."

"..." Xander narrowed his eyes and Spike was suddenly hit with the desire to laugh.

"Yes, well..." Giles cleared his throat. He sat down the book and started to clean his glasses religiously. "The second choice is to have your aura read."

"Bloody hell, what are you bantering on about?" Spike asked. Giles sighed.

"Some demons or magical people can read auras, which in turn can tell your future or help solve a mystery." Giles said. 

"That's really fascinating, you know." Spike said sarcastically. "Really, it is."

"Well, I was going to suggest an aura reader to you, but since you're not interested..." Giles trailed of, shrugging.

"Spike." Xander said softly, but with a tone of voice that made Spike look over. "Don't you want to get to the bottom of this?"

"Of course I do, love." Spike replied. Xander broke into a smile at the endearment, leaving Spike to wonder if he really should be encouraging this relationship. Spike sighed and pushed the thought away. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about this. He needed to fix whatever was wrong with him first, then he could worry about whether or not he was good enough for Xander.

Which rather pissed him off. Why should he care anyway? Bloody hell.

"Fine. Watcher, who is it?" Spike asked.

"Now, Spike," Giles said carefully. "I want you to know that I'm not intentionally doing this, okay? Though, why I am helping you is anyone's guess. But... The demon is an associate of Angel's."

"Bloody freakin' hell!" Spike leapt to his feet. "It never ends! When I finally think I'm away from that bugger of a Grandsire, I have to go ask him for help! This is... I'm not doing it!"

"Spike." Xander said sternly. Spike immediately shut up. Inwardly he cursed his apparent cowardice when it came to defying Xander in any way. Xander walked over to him, slipping an arm around his waist. Xander's hand gripped his buttocks lightly, away from the eyes of the Watcher. "You're not really asking Angel for a favor. You're just asking him to direct you to this demon, okay? I want you to be better, Spike."

"Dammit, whelp, do you have to use the puppy-dog eyes?" 

"What would you prefer?" Xander asked, grinning wickedly. His eyes flashed green. "Hyena eyes?"

Spike was completely aware of the fact that he became hard the moment Xander's eyes had changed color. He was digging himself into an impressive hole, it seemed. His reactions to every little thing that Xander did was all together new. Xander kept his attention, made him interested. Which was odd, because they weren't even having sex on a daily basis. Spike sighed.

"I can't bloody believe I'm going to L.A."


	9. Chapter 9

"We should talk."

Spike slowly opened his eyes at the words, blinking as the headlights from a passing car blinded him. The sentence sunk into his brain gradually, giving him enough time to look over at his companion. Xander looked tense. His hands gripped the steering wheel and his jaw was set, teeth grinding against one another. 

"'Bout what?" Spike mumbled. Xander's knuckles turned slightly white. "You okay, mate?"

"There are things that need to be said, Spike." Xander said with a soft voice.

"Which are...?" Spike prompted.

"This relationship." Xander replied. "We need to talk about our relationship."

"Bloody hell." Spike cursed softly.

"It's not that difficult, talking about us. I mean, people do it all the time, right?" Xander babbled. "Just me and you talking, on the way to L.A. Oh god, what are we going to do about Angel? What if he... senses something?"

"Don't be so paranoid." Spike said. "The poof wont notice a thing."

"Yeah, but that's just it." Xander told him, glancing over. "Is there a thing to notice in the first place? What is this?"

"I think you're the best one to answer that, pet." Spike said honestly.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you're in control." Spike replied. He focused on the dark scenery outside, ignoring the look that Xander was giving him. "You. The hyena. Whichever it is, I don't know. But you are in control, mate."

"And?" Xander asked gently.

"And?" Spike let out a grunt of annoyance. "And I bloody well like it, okay? I like not having to be the one taking care of someone. I like knowing that you will protect me if I accept this. I like the idea of you... I just like it, okay?"

"Okay." Xander gave him a brilliant grin, that even in it's goofiness never lost it's feral quality.

"What? That's it, then?" Spike looked over, tilting his head.

"All I wanted to hear." Was Xander's reply. Spike shook his head and remained quiet for the rest of the drive.

Cordelia Chase was bored. This was naturally putting it lightly, because she often felt bored. Today, she felt as though the world would suck her down at any moment and leave her in hell. Hell, in her opinion, was a place with no department stores or entertainment. Come to think of it, maybe she was already there?

"Bleedin' hell, pet, I'm all right!" The demanding, British voice echoed from the hallway. Cordelia stiffened in her chair, setting down her nail file. She remembered that voice. 

"It looked like you were getting a little... toasty is all." Another voice said, filled with worry and something reminiscent of a stern lecture. That's when the door burst in, revealing a scowling Spike and glaring Xander. Xander shoved past Spike, huffing. "I was just concerned. We could of found a covered parking lot and taken the sewer, you know."

"What? And pop up in the poof's living room, waving a white flag?" Spike asked. "I don't think so."

"You're the one who had to go to-"

"Shut your yap, Xander." Spike growled. Xander narrowed his eyes and took a menacing step toward Spike, who cowered slightly into the wall. The vampire's eyes darting around the room, before landing on Cordelia. “Oh, look! It's... Uhhh.... Cady?"

"Cordelia?" Xander gasped, turning around. 

"Xander? What are you doing here? Is there something happening in Sunnydale? What's going on? Why are you and Spike doing the bizarre old married couple thing?" Xander winced at the ambush of questions, and chose not to answer.

"Sheesh. You can take the girl out of Sunnydale, but you can't take the Sunnydale Babble out of the girl, eh?" Spike commented.

"Oh, shut up Spike." Cordelia snapped. "So, tell me. Are you here to torture my boss again, or what?"

"Actually we came to ask Angel something." Xander replied.

"Why?" Cordelia asked suspiciously, before gasping. The ex-cheerleader fumbled with a drawer and suddenly yanked out a stake. "Oh God, Xander's a vampire. Angel! Angel, get your broody ass up here! Xander's a vampire and has come to kill me and get revenge on you!"

"Was she always like this?" Spike asked. Xander arched an eyebrow and tilted his head, watching as Cordelia gripped the stake and backed away from them.

"Hmm... Yeah, she was." Xander said thoughtfully. Both Spike and Xander could hear the sound of metal grating, the sign of an old elevator working. In unison, their eyes traveled over to a doorway, watching as two figures entered the room. Xander sniffed the air slightly, noticing how mingled Angel's scent was with the strange man. Xander glanced over to Spike, noticing the slow smirk appearing on his mate's face.

"Cordelia-" Angel started, before standing stock still and staring at Spike and Xander. "Spike."

"Angel." Spike greeted.

"Xander." Xander said. 

"Doyle." The strange man said, pointing at himself.

"Now that you've all had your moment of acting like three year olds, can we get to the slaying?" Cordelia asked, still brandishing her stake.

"Cordelia, Xander's not a vampire." Angel said calmly.

"Oh... Well, how about Spike?" Cordelia asked hopefully.

"Oi! There will be no staking!" Spike exclaimed, while a soft growl was heard from Xander. Angel raised an eyebrow at Xander's dark look, but did not comment. "'Sides, Peaches, I think there is something important you need to share with me."

"And what would that be, Spike?" Angel asked, with his usual sound of being tortured.

"I thought having a soul squeezed all the cock-loving out of you, but apparently I was wrong." Spike said conversationally. Angel's eyes narrowed. "Gotta say, mate, never knew you'd go for the short and Irish. You always avoided your nationality."

"Hey, now-" Doyle started, before reaching up and clutching at his head. He staggered over to the desk and gripped it with one hand, a low moan escaping his mouth. Angel darted forward, wrapping an arm around Doyle's shoulders. A moment passed, both figures not moving, before Angel straightened up with Doyle. The Irishman leaned against Angel's larger frame, his face looking older than it did a second ago.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Spike asked rudely.

"Doyle has visions." Angel stated.

"Never could pick a normal bloke, could you?" Spike tsked.

"What did you see?" Angel asked Doyle, completely ignoring Spike. 

"Two ice demons. They were attacking a couple of teenagers in an alleyway." Doyle replied.

"Right. Spike, behave yourself. I'll be back in a couple of hours." Angel ordered.

"What? Going for a waltz in the sun, Deadboy?" Xander asked, pointing at the shaded window. Angel cursed under his breath.

"It's okay." Doyle told him, patting his shoulder. "Not going to happen until tonight anyway."

"Good." Xander said. "That gives Deadboy and I time for a little talk."

Xander looked around Angel's basement apartment with a sense of humor. It wasn't everyday you found out the former thorn in your side lived in a basement, just like he did. His focus paused once on Spike pacing form, before landing on Angel. The dark vampire sat in a chair across from him, half in shadows. Xander could remember a time when that would have made him uneasy. Now, he understood Angel's need to hide half in darkness, and have in light.

Xander didn't speak at first. He could hear the soft murmurs of Doyle and Cordelia upstairs, the echo of their footsteps. Spike was getting impatient, but he didn't speak. He wouldn't speak. Xander was happy that Spike understood that Xander needed to deal with this. That Xander felt the desire to help his mate. 

"What do you want, Xander?" Angel asked, breaking the silence.

"We need to find someone, and I hear you're the guy to ask." Xander told him.

"Enough with this cryptic bullshit!" Spike suddenly exclaimed. 

The moment he said the words, he knew it was a mistake. Xander had pinned him to a wall the last time he had questioned or undermined him. Spike held an un-needed breath and watched as Xander's eyes flashed bright green. Angel's jaw dropped open, a surprised look that on any other moment Spike would have enjoyed.

In one fluid movement, Xander had stood and was walking towards him. Spike didn't want to think about it, but he could help but question his own stupidity. He knew that Xander still had the hyena, that it was still engraved inside him. It was obvious, every time he moved even. Spike knew that sometimes Xander let the instincts control him. It was natural, really.

What Spike didn't know is why he kept placing himself in this type of position, to be dominated by the young man. Because you enjoy it, a small voice in his head told him.

"Spike." Xander said softly, his voice laced with pure control.

"Yeah?" Spike asked, backing away from Xander's advancing form until he was flush against the wall. Xander pressed up against him, not a single inch separating them.

"I will take care of this, okay? I don't want you to complicate things with some childish argument with Angel. Is that clear?" Xander spoke slowly, as though speaking to a dog. Spike shuddered, only moving to nod his understanding. A small smile graced Xander's lips, before he turned back to Angel. "Giles said you knew a demon that can read auras. We need you to take us to him."

"And why would that be?" Angel asked, fighting the look of shock that had been on his face.

"Something's happening to Spike." Xander explained. "He's getting these attacks... It's hard to explain. You would have to see it to know what I'm talking about. All I know is something weird is happening. It's like... Spike's body is trying to come back to life."

"That makes no sense." Angel told him honestly.

"Yeah, well, wait until you see it." Xander said. "I'm sure it will happen again."

"Thanks for the encouragement into screaming pain, love." Spike whispered. Xander glanced back at him, smirking slightly.

"Well, Deadboy, what do you say?" Xander asked, grinning.

"I suppose we can make a visit to Caritas after we deal with the ice demons tonight." Angel relented. Xander nodded in agreement. He turned to Spike, only to be stopped by Angel's voice. "Xander... What happened to you?"

"Simply got in touch with my inner animal, Angel." Xander gave him a feral look. "Oh, and I expect you to be nice to Spike while we are here, along with giving him blood."

"Never thought I'd see the day." Angel muttered to himself, not aware that Xander could hear him perfectly. "Xander Harris protecting William the Bloody."

"Life's full of surprises, eh Deadboy?" Xander asked, raising an eyebrow at Angel's look of annoyance.

The rest of the day was spent, much to Angel's displeasure, with Xander and Spike teaming up against him. It seemed Spike adored the side of Xander that mocked the souled vampire. Angel, for the unlife of him, could not understand the relationship, though. Xander seemed to bounce back and forth between the goofy kid he was before to this animal on the prowl. He never took his eyes off Spike when the vampire was near. When Spike was in another room, it seemed that Xander was completely aware of the vampire, despite not being able to see him.

Angel wasn't stupid. He could see a bond when it was shoved in his face, and that was definitely what Spike and Xander had. It wasn't strong, but it wasn't weak either. It was different, that was certain. Xander's side was strong, determined. Which didn't really surprise Angel. Xander had always taken his emotions as far as possible. It really was what made him so loyal.

Spike was what confused Angel the most. He was linked to Xander, it was obvious. Yet, Angel couldn't help but wonder why. He could remember his unsouled days, the torment he had put the blonde vampire through. Even now, after years of brooding, he still felt the need to sulk over how he treated Spike. Still, Spike seemed to almost burst with glee when Xander's possessive streak pushed to the surface. The vampire was stubborn, though, and Angel could tell that Spike had yet to openly bond himself with Xander. That was what made Spike's side so weak. Spike was uncertain.

If Angel trusted his own instincts, he would know that it was because Spike was afraid of rejection. The thought saddened him.

Night finally fell, and Angel, Doyle, Spike, and Xander found themselves in a nice alleyway. The two ice demons had been sucking the energy out of a couple of teens, taking away their warmth and slowly freezing them from the inside. The four had quickly diverted the demons' attention, making certain the two humans were able to escape.

Xander threw himself into the fight, using the speed and strength of the hyena to aide in the battle. He could see from the corner of his eye as Spike attacked the other demon with Angel. The fight was long. The demons, while strong, were slow and rather stupid. 

Spike bantered with his enemy, enjoying the confusion that often graced the ice demon's face due to a clever remark. He could see Xander laying into the other demon, all grace and power. When the battle finally ended, Spike ignored Angel and Doyle as they carefully looked each other over for injuries. Spike's eyes remained on Xander, his head titled and his eyes watching Xander's deep breaths.

"Spike." Xander growled, locking eyes with Spike. Angel and Doyle looked over in shock as Xander leaped forward, a barking hyena-like laugh escaping his throat. Spike was quickly pinned to the wall, Xander's face buried into his neck. "Mine."

"Want you." Spike admitted, all the stolen blood in his body having dropped to his cock the moment Xander had touched him, turning his brain to mush.

"You have me." Xander growled loudly, completely ignoring Angel and Doyle's stares.

Spike shuddered when he felt Xander's tongue snake up his neck. Xander nibbled on his ear, before pulling back far enough to meet his lips. Their lips crushed against one another, tongue immediately moving to battle against one another. Xander's hands quickly slide underneath the duster, pulling Spike flush against him. Their erections met, and soon were grinding against one another.

Angel could only stare in shock as Xander lifted Spike off the ground, wrapping the younger vampire's legs around his waist. Their hips bucked against one another, bodies pressed close. They never stopped kissing, and Angel momentarily wondered how Xander was managing to actually breathe. Their moans filled the air and Angel gulped, trying not to look over at Doyle.

Spike's feet were suddenly returned to the ground. Looking down, he watched in amazement as Xander knelt before him. His jeans were quickly unbuttoned and he thanked every sex god in existance that he didn't wear underwear, thus allowing Xander a direct path to his hard erection. A warm hand wrapped around it, stroking lightly. At the first swipe of Xander's tongue, Spike's arched his hips forward, his head falling back against the brick wall of the alleyway.

When Xander's mouth enveloped Spike's erection, even Angel moaned. The pure scent of arousal was filling the air. The non-participants half expected it to arise the curiosity of demons a mile away. They watched as Xander sucked on Spike's cock. The blonde writhed against the wall, one hand resting on Xander's shoulder and the other pressed against the wall. The sight made a beautiful picture, really. A lustful, sexy, and arousing picture, but a beautiful one none the less.

As Spike finally came, for it seemed to take forever in Angel and Doyle's mind, his cry was probably heard as far as Colorado.

"Now that you two are finished..." Angel started, giving both of them a scowl and completely ignoring his own erection.

"Problems, Deadboy?" Xander asked innocently, licking his lips. Spike simply growled from next to him. Angel went to reply, but was stopped by the sight of Spike yanking Xander toward him for a soul searing kiss. When they parted, both men had dazed looks on their faces.

"Do you still want to go to Caritas or would you prefer to go-" Angel started once more.

"Bloody hell!" Spike screeched, his hand reaching to clutch at his chest. Xander immediately got Spike to the ground, wrapping his arms around the vampire as he convulsed and yelped in pain.

Angel had never seen anything so painful. The look on Spike's face summed up the fears of anything that despised being hurt. A full minute passed, Spike's face twisted in pain and his body twitching. Then the blonde stilled and Angel's jaw dropped open. The alleyway had been the home to two heart beats. That of Doyle and Xander. Now, another was added to the mix. It was faint and skipping, but it was still a heartbeat. Angel remember that beat from over a century ago, when a crying Victorian had bumped into him on the street.

"It burns." Spike whispered, his blue eyes opening. They looked brighter with the unshed tears in his eyes. Xander held him closer, his head dropping briefly to kiss him lightly on the forehead. The sound of tires driving over gravel seemed to emit through the air. Xander refused to look at Angel as he purred. Spike gasped, his body tensing. Then the heartbeat that echoed in Angel's ears slowed and finally stopped. Spike remained in Xander's arms for another moment, before slowly standing. He wobbled a moment, Xander's arm wrapping around his waist to help steady him.

"Right." Spike said after a moment of un-needed breathing. "To Caritas, then?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Glycerine by Bush

Spike's jaw dropped open. Angel and Doyle grimaced in unison. Xander fought back a chuckle.

On the stage in the dimly lit club of Caritas a Groglathen demon sang. The sounds of 'NSync filled the air and the demon's heavily larded body flumped and wiggled to the beat. Spike turned to Xander and buried his face against the human's shoulder, ignoring the suddenly amused look that Angel was sending him. 

"Make it stop, love." Spike whined. "My bloody ears are gonna pop off."

"Oh, the horror." Xander whispered as the song drew to a close.

"My thoughts exactly, sweet plum." A voice exclaimed. All four turned to be greeted by a smiling green demon, with red eyes. That, though, wasn't the part that drew their attention. He was wearing a suit made of silk in the colors plum and pale pink. 

"Lorne." Angel greeted. "You know Doyle. This is Xander and Spike."

"Oh, cupcake, it's wonderful to see you... Wait... You didn't come to sing again, did you?" Lorne asked, ignoring Spike's bark of laughter. "Honey, I don't think the populace enjoys that much of Mr. Manilow."

"Bleedin' hell." Spike gasped out through his chuckles. "First you raid the man's wardrobe and now you butcher his songs with your voice? What do you have against the poor human?"

"Oh, sweetie, Barry is no human, let me tell you." Lorne sighed dreamily for a moment, his eyes slightly vacant.

"Lorne." Angel said, impatiently. "We need you to read Spike."

"Really? So, creampuff, you want your fortune read?" Lorne asked. Xander growled at the demon's mild flirtation. Lorne tutted under his breath, but did not comment. "Pick a song and prepare to sing your little undead heart out."

"Sing?" Spike asked, his amused expression disappearing from his face. "No way, mate. I am not getting on stage to perform some disturbingly joyful pop song. You can kiss that idea goodbye."

"Oh, sugar, there is no way I'd want you to ruin that sexy bad boy look you have going for you with Justin Timberlake!" Lorne replied, grinning. "I do believe we have a few things right up your alley."

Grumbling to himself, Spike made his way over to look at the music list. Xander followed Angel and Doyle to a booth, keeping one eye on the pouting vampire at all times. Even in the dark light of the club, Xander could spot Spike's white-blonde head from across the room. He ignored the brooding vampire and his half-demon friend, passing over a drink, and continued to focus on Spike.

"What's going on with you, Xander?" Angel's voice finally broke through Xander's mind. 

"What do you mean?" Xander asked calmly, though slightly annoyed by Angel's presence in general.

"You smell different." Angel stated.

"Smell me often, Deadboy?" Xander smirked. He could hear Angel sigh dramatically without looking over. Xander's smirk grew.

"It's a bit noticeable, Harris." Angel growled.

"Back off, Angel." Xander bared his teeth. "I was possessed by a Hyena, if you must know. She's been with me for four years and got loose once more. Giles and Willow had to cast a union spell on me. I'm part human soul, part hyena."

"And Spike?" Angel asked. 

"Mate." Xander said with a low growl. "And you'll do well to remember that, Deadboy."

"You can't trust him." Angel told him.

"I can and I will." Xander replied. "He's mine."

"How does he feel about it?" Angel asked, raising an eyebrow. "Spike's never submitted gracefully."

"Leave it be." Xander said. "It doesn't concern you. You leave mine alone and I'll leave yours alone." Xander's eyes darted over to Doyle briefly, who was trying his hardest to pretend to not hear the conversation. Angel's eyes narrowed. "Deal?"

"Fine." Angel nodded tersely. "But don't go whining to the Slayer or me when Spike tries to kill you. You're not fully human now, so I suspect he'd have no problem hurting you."

"Oh, Spike might hurt me." Xander chuckled. "But I'll enjoy it to it's fullest."

Xander received a large amount of pleasure when Angel turned away, face tense. There was nothing better in life than torturing the tortured soul that was Angel. The dark vampire had a wonderful habit in bringing out all of Xander jealous and angry emotions. Before Xander could actually think on it, the spotlight on the stage lit up. 

Spike sauntered onto the stage, looking for all the world the Big Bad. Xander, and possibly Angel, were the only ones able to see the slightly nervous look in his eyes. Spike scanned the crowd quickly, before his eyes landed on Xander and focused there. A guitar riff echoed through the club, the beginning sounds of alternative rock. A moment later, a throaty tenor voice swept through the speakers while blue eyes never left Xander.

Must be your skin I'm sinking in   
Must be for real 'cause now I can feel   
And I didn't mind it's not my kind   
Not my time to wonder why   
Everything's gone white   
And everything's gray   
Now you're here now you're away   
I don't want this remember that   
I'll never forget where you're at   
Don't let the days go by   
Glycerine, glycerine

I'm never alone   
I'm alone all the time   
Are you at one   
Or do you lie   
We live in a wheel   
Where everyone steals   
But when we rise it's like strawberry fields 

If I treated you bad   
You bruise my face   
Couldn't love you more   
You got a beautiful taste   
Don't let the days go by   
Could have been easier on you   
I couldn't change though I wanted to   
Should have been easier by three   
Our old friend fear and you and me   
Glycerine, glycerine   
Don't let the days go by   
Glycerine, glycerine 

Bad mood whine again   
Bad mood whine again   
As she falls around me 

I needed you more   
When we wanted us less   
I could not kiss just regress   
It might just be   
Clear simple and plain   
That's just fine   
That's just one of my names   
Don't let the days go by   
Could have been easier on you   
Glycerine, glycerine

Xander stared, his mind mixed with thoughts of lust and a memory of Spike calling out in pleasure. He couldn't help himself. The soft voice singing cried sensual. Then Spike was by his side, sliding into the chair next to him and looking at him expectantly. Xander blinked and his throat went dry. At that moment in time, all he wanted was to throw Spike onto the table and ravish him in front of everyone. To mark him. To fill him. To fuck him. 

"Well!" Lorne's voice exclaimed from behind them. He gingerly sat down across from Spike and Xander and took a deep breath. "It's something strange, that's for certain. First things first, you two are definitely mates. There isn't getting around that, but you need to complete your bond and soon."

"And?" Spike asked, storing the thought of bonding away to think about at a later time. 

"I didn't get much." Lorne said honestly. "But what I did see was pretty straight forward. Your attacks are mystical in nature. The cause? Well, it's the hyena, darling."

"What do you mean?" Xander asked, panicking. He hated the idea that he was causing Spike this pain.

"Your hyena isn't just a spirit, sweet plum." Lorne explained. "Didn't you ever wonder why it stuck around while the others vamoosed?"

"I always figured it was because of different circumstances. I got possessed while defending someone, the others were attacking him." Xander replied.

"That might be a part of it, but it's not the main reason. The hyena was stronger, but in more ways than one." Lorne said. "Most animals have spirits, but not souls. That's what makes them different from humans. It's the same with demons, the vast majority don't have souls. The peaceful species tend to possess one, though, but that's not the point. Sometimes strange things happen. Maybe the hyena came into contact with a warlock before arriving at the zoo. The point is it could be anything, but what matters is that the hyena is not a normal spirit. It has a soul. It has power. And it seems to be using that power."

"How? I mean, she loves Spike." Xander said. "I love Spike. We love Spike. I can't press upon this enough."

"That's just it, it's not trying anything. It's subconscious." Lorne replied. "She's not trying to hurt Spike, she's wanting to fully bond with him. But that can't happen because of some factors."

"What?" Spike asked, confused.

"I don't know." Lorne said sadly. "That's all I got. There is something stopping you two from fully bonding and it's due to that separation that the hyena is fighting for you two to connect. The result's these attacks. I don't know much else. Still, you need to strengthen your bond. That's the only advice I can think of. Maybe if your bond is stronger than it is now, the hyena will be satisfied."

"Sounds like a bloody long shot to me, mate." Spike commented, crossing his arms.

"You could always sing another song..." Lorne trailed off at Spike's growl. "Look, dumpling, I have an idea. I know this guy! He's a spiritual doctor. Cutest little thing, too. Has these horns to die for-" Lorne cleared his throat when he received the highly impatient stares from those at the table. "Anyway, go see him. He'll help you, I can almost count on it."

"Right. Thanks." Spike said, not sounding at all thankful. He took the napkin that Lorne handed him, an address written in long elegant letters upon it. Spike turned to Xander. "Can we get out of here? I've had enough embarrassment for the night, love."

"Good idea." Xander stood, nodding once to Lorne, before looking over at Angel. "We need a place to stay the night. We'll go to this doc's place tomorrow."

"If you just think that I'm going to up and give you a pla-" Angel started.

"You can have the couch." Doyle interrupted, giving Angel a look. Angel frowned, but nodded.

"Looks like Irishboy has Peaches whipped." Spike muttered. Xander leered at Angel, causing the dark vampire to scowl.

The couch turned out to be the kind that folded down into a bed. It was obvious that it had never really been used, as the mattress inside was fresh and clean, without a single scent upon it. Spike made a point to say that most people would avoid staying over at the poof's place, claiming Doyle had to be as insane as the rest of the Irish world to want to bed the brooding vampire. Xander honestly didn't want to think about anyone bedding Angel, or why Doyle was able to sleep with Angel in the first place. Thoughts about Angel's curse came for a moment, but were quickly pushed to the side. It wasn't important, anyway, in Xander's mind.

It was nearly dawn when Xander and Spike slipped into bed, half a foot of space separating them. Xander wanted nothing more than to roll over and pull Spike close, but he could sense that Spike was thinking. His body was tense, his eyes glued to the ceiling. "Orgasm for your thoughts?"

"Would take more than that to get rid of them, mate." Spike replied, snorting slightly.

"Maybe you should talk it out?" Xander encouraged.

"Wouldn't want to keep Peaches up with our jabbering." Spike said, faking concern.

"Screw Peaches." Xander growled.

"'Rather not." 

"Well, then, who would you rather screw?" Xander asked, smiling.

"We're getting off topic, here." Spike pointed out.

"So? I'm getting your mind off dark thoughts before you turn into a blonde version of Angel." Xander told him. "I don't want him as a mate, you know."

"Hmm... Mate." Spike murmured, his mind slowly returning to his thoughts.

"Ah, none of that." Xander reprimanded. "So, if not Peaches, who would you rather screw?"

"That again?" Spike asked. He rolled over, closer to Xander. He could feel the heat emitting from the live body.

"Yes."

"Oh, I don't know." Spike said, thoughtfully. He pretended not to see Xander's hardening gaze. "I've always wanted to get a hold of that Watcher of yours."

Just as Spike had predicted, Xander was on him in a second. He was pinned to the bed, the dark mortal straddling his hips and growling down at him. Spike could smell the arousal, anger, and dominance reeking off the boy and knew, without a doubt, that Angel and Doyle could smell him as far as the bedroom. The thought was exciting.

"Is this what you want, Spike?" Xander asked, his voice low as he leaned in closer. "You want to make me angry? Jealous? Possessive? You want to be mine, don't you? To bare my mark and to wear my name tattooed across your soul. Is that what you want? For me to be angry and prove my ownership? Do you not want my gentle touch? My caress? Do you prefer violence?"

"Vampire, mate." Spike gasped out, feeling Xander's hands tighten around his wrists. "We live for the violence."

"Do you?" Xander smirked, his eyes flashing a subtle green. "I don't think so."

"You don't know me that well." Spike replied. Despite his words, Xander's soft voice was enough to make his cock harden. Xander's nose twitched, a tell-tale sign that he was scenting the air. A small part of Spike wanted to be ashamed of his obvious arousal, of the pheromones rolling off him, but the tiny part was quickly beaten into submission as Xander's body stretched out on top of his own, lowering until they touched from chest to toe.

"Mmm, Spike, I do." Xander mumbled against his neck.

"Do?" Spike asked, having lost any memory of their conversation. His entire mind and body was focused on the warm figure above him. Work-rough hands trailing down his sides. Soft lips brushing his neck. A hard erection nudging his own.

"Know you. Want you." Xander whispered. "Love you."

"Why?" Spike asked, cringing at the sound his voice made, a strange cross between a whine and a beg. He ignored the sound, taking in a deep, un-needed breath when Xander bit down on his ear lobe. "Why do you love me?"

"You smell divine." Xander answered, breathing in deep. He rotated his hips gently, their cock rubbing against one another. Spike held back a groan. "You feel like heaven."

"More." Spike demanded. He didn't know whether he was wanting the words or the touch to increase. It suddenly amazed him, the fact that this dark headed man wanted him. Spike closed the thought from his brain. It was too emotional. He didn't want to be emotional.

"Your voice is like whiskey." Xander told him. "Your face? An archangel perhaps? Or maybe a fallen angel?"

Emotional went out the window, and in came devotion. Spike didn't know how to react to Xander's words. He had experienced this type of thing before, someone devoting such poetry to him. Minions had given their lives for him. Drusilla had sung to the stars about him. Angelus had carved his name into a victims back for him. Yet, nothing could compare to this. Never before had such words, such actions effected him so. Never before did he believe that being devoted to someone meant loving them, until now, just from hearing Xander's tone.

"I want your soul, Spike." Xander said in a soft voice, his lips trailing across his cheek to his lips. "I want your body and life. I want your love. I want you happy and content. I want so much, but you have to give it to me. You have to let me love you, Spike... William."

"Wanna own you right back." Spike replied, the words escaping his lips before he could stop them. "I want to taste you, Xander."

"Love me?" Their eyes locked at Xander's question. A long moment passed before Spike answered.

"Love you."

In the other room, Doyle turned in bed, curling up to Angel. He could hear shifting of sheets and moans from the other room. The slight scent of sex was seeping into the air, hinting with confusion and excitement. Opening his green eyes, Doyle looked up at Angel. The dark vampire had a scowl on his face, his eyes unblinking and staring at the ceiling. Doyle poked the vampire in the side, shocking him out of his thoughts. "Xander's right, you know."

"Excuse me?" Angel asked, raising a dark eyebrow.

"You brood too much." Doyle informed him, slipping his arms around Angel's body. In the other room a loud cry echoed, followed by a deep growl. "Hard to tell which one is the vampire and which is the human, eh?"

"This is insane." Angel informed him. "I don't want to believe what I'm hearing."

"Who says you have to?" Doyle asked. "Accepting and believing are two totally different things. A person can accept that God exists, but that doesn't mean they believe in his power. Same principle. You can accept that Xander isn't a normal human and that Spike is obviously falling in love with him, a thing that most vampires can not feel. Or you can forget acceptance and attempt in believing in their relationship. I say accept it. It's there. It's done. It's happening right now if that howl has anything to do with it."

"Mine!"

The loud claim echoed into the bedroom, Xander's voice bouncing off the walls. Angel sighed dramatically, smelling the joy that came with Spike's submission to Xander. The scent drifting through the cracks of the door was powerful and Angel made a small note not to enter the living room until it had time to air out.


	11. Chapter 11

"I don't like it, pet. Let's get out of here." Spike made for the door, but was intercepted by Xander, who took his hand and pulled him closer. Spike stared at the white room, with it's white furniture and stainless steel trim. A shiver ran through him. This was too clean, way too clean.

Spike could feel the heat in Xander carefully traveling the length of the man's arm, connecting to Spike's own. It warmed him slowly. Taking a deep breath, Spike slipped his hand from Xander's and sat down on the metal table. Flashes of memory, dim and yet disturbingly real, went through him. Soldiers and doctors. Knives and needles. Pain. So much pain.

Xander could feel Spike tense. He quickly took a step forward, but stopped when Spike's body tensed even further, his jaw clenching. A shudder ran through Spike, before the vampire opened his eyes and gave Xander a stubborn look. "You don't have to hover all over me, Harris."

"Excuse me for being worried about you." Xander growled, his comfort mode immediately switching to agitation. He couldn't understand it. Why wouldn't Spike just give in? Every time they got one step closer to a nice, comfortable relationship Spike would back away. Frowning, Xander turned away from the frustrated vampire and chose instead to stare out the small window, which revealed a cloudy L.A. night.

Spike grumbled to himself for a moment. Deep down he could understand Xander's anger. Spike had been bouncing around their entire relationship since it began. He couldn't help it. As a person, as a being, he relished every scrape of attention Xander gave him. He loved the idea of being held, of being protected. But his demon was fighting it all the way. While the demon admired the idea of a mate, it wasn't agreeing to all of this as well as Spike earlier thought it did. Perhaps, the monster within him was afraid it would finally lose all control if it went along with this.

"My Goddess!" A high voice screeched. Spike and Xander turned to see a short man enter the room, shutting the door quickly behind him. He looked human enough, except for the two inch long pink horns that curled out of his head. "Stop brooding!"

"Pardon?" Spike raised an eyebrow. He did not brood.

"Your auras are getting a little crazy with what ever it is you're thinking about." The doctor shuddered before shaking off what ever he was feeling. Clearing his throat, his bowed slightly to both of them. "I am Doctor Keebler, of the Woodland Territory."

"Don't." Spike ordered quickly when Xander opened his mouth to comment. Xander's mouth snapped shut and a small growl emitted from his chest. Spike snorted.

"Ah, and you must be the host of cats and dogs, hmm?" Keebler mused, his eyes darting over to Xander. "Hyenas are amazing creatures, are they not?"

"I'm rather fond of them." Xander said coldly.

"Humph." Keebler stuck his nose slightly into the air and walked over to the counter. He carefully pulled out a large magnifying glass. "Well, Mr. Bloody, let's take a look-see!"

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Xander asked, stepping between the cheerful doctor and Spike. His nostrils flared slightly, scenting the doctor. Dr. Keebler stared up at him, frowning slightly.

"I beg your pardon, but I plan on viewing his soul." Keebler sounded rather miffed. He held up the magnifying glass. "I suspect, with him being a vampire, there will be only small traces left over from when he was alive. They are very hard to see. I can't just glance at him, unlike with you."

"Me?" Xander raised an eyebrow, still not removing himself from the doctor's way.

"You're very blinding, young man." Keebler gentle ushered Xander to the side. Xander went, but could not hold back the glare that he sent the small demon. Keebler ignored him, grabbing a stool and sitting down in front of Spike. "Yes, you do pulse like an over-powered flashlight. I suspect it is the result of housing two very powerful spirits within."

"Whoa, powerful?" Xander snorted. The nearly constant animalistic stance disappeared and for a moment the old Xander was all too visible. "I've never been powerful. The hyena, yeah, she's strong. But not me."

"Lie all you want." Keebler eyed Xander carefully. "Do you really think a normal soul could withstand repetitive possessions like you have?"

"I... How do you know this?" Xander asked, his eyes hardening suspiciously.

"It's all in your aura, young man. One's soul is graphed with their experiences. If a person is able to see them, they are able to see everything about that person. Call it a gift, call it a blessing." Keebler sighed. "It's terribly annoying at times, though."

"Can we get back to me?" Spike asked snidely. Xander rolled his eyes and turned back to the window, though he kept an eye on Spike while the doctor did his work.

"Hmm, yes." Keebler nodded, leaning forward with the magnifying glass raised before Spike's chest. "Ah, there is the demon. Interesting, very interesting. Such mourning. Such angst! What have you been doing to this poor creature, Mr. Bloody? He is craving a stake, it seems." Keebler tutted and moved to another portion of Spike's chest.

"Aha!" Keebler chuckled in spite of himself. "Very nice, very nice indeed."

"What?" Spike asked, sounding annoyed.

"Indeed, William appears to be here." Keebler mused, ignoring Spike. "And there. Yes, I see now. The connection is obvious. But how? How did she manage? Ah... So fate is a real thing, hmm?"

"What are you bloody well going on about?" Spike growled. Keebler ignored him once more. Xander, his curiosity getting the best of him, walked over. When he got within a foot of spike, the doctor gasped loudly.

"It is right there! Traces! Yes!" Keebler exclaimed. He tossed the magnifying glass to the side, ignoring it shattering on the floor, his eyes filled with awe. Xander raised an eyebrow in question. Spike tilted his head, trying to fight back the need to kick the small demon across the room.

"Plan on sharing any of that with us, hmm?" Spike asked.

"It is amazing. Such a link as I have never seen." Keebler placed a small hand on his own chest and looked a little misty at the eyes.

"Get on with it!" Xander snapped. Keebler blinked and frowned as though finally noticing the looks of impatience on his patients' faces. Sighing, Keebler rolled the stool back and crossed his arms, looking up at them with a serious expression.

"Mr. Bloody-"

"It's Spike."

"Yes, whatever. Spike, then." Keebler continued. "Your demon is not to happy with you, I must say. I believe it is mostly because of the chip in that head of yours. Sadly there is not much you can do about that. I believe that once this problem is resolved, the chip will matter very little to the demon."

"Lovely." Spike mumbled.

"I must say, Spike." Keebler said. "I have soul-read many vampires. The most I have ever seen of their souls is tiny particles, as I said earlier. But you, wow, you are something else. Your soul is very fragmented, but it appears to have never truly left your body when you were turned. I suspect it might have something to do with your Sire. Drusilla is very much connected to the other realm, it would make sense that she would be able to access such an object such as your soul. Now, I do not believe that she intentionally kept you from losing your soul. 

"Perhaps that was the Powers' idea as fun, but what matters is that when your soul went to leave your body, to make room for your demon, something intercepted. I suspected along with Drusilla's own psychic energy and William’s own stubborn quality the soul remained anchored. You lost small pieces of it, naturally. That is why the demon is able to be noticeable in the first place. The demon is there, and for quite some time had full control, but even it was not a normal one. I do believe fate has quite the joke playing with you."

"Joy." Spike glared, though his mind was racing with the news that he was receiving. Xander remained quiet next to him, a confused look on his face.

"Now, then." Keebler took a deep breath. "Mr. Harris you are effecting Spike in the most unique way. Your fisi mtima is locking onto the fragments of William and literally pulling."

"Wait. 'Fisi Mtima'?" Xander asked.

"Uh, yes. Hyena Soul, if you will." Keebler explained. "Anyway, the pulling that your hyena is doing, its causing William to grow. Spike's soul is literally returning to him. But, as most things tend to be, this process appears to be rather unstable. The hyena doesn't know what it's doing. It is just attempting to make Spike whole, to make it's mate a true equal. It's similar to being out in the wild for the hyena. But instead of teaching Spike to hunt or fight better, she is trying to make him spiritually equal."

"But that doesn't explain why Spike's heart starts beating." Xander replied.

"In a sense it does." Keebler smiled slightly, as though congratulating himself on his own mastermind. Spike made a grunt, a small noise that seemed to fully express the vampire's need for this conversation to get moving. "The hyena's soul is mystical in nature, everything that she does is mystical. This is included in that. She is pulling at Spike's soul, trying to bring William to full presence. At the same time, she is bringing forward what William was: a human. These little spurts of magic, of instability, are causing Spike's body to attempt to revert back to it's natural state. That is, being alive."

"What if she.. I... Succeed?" Xander asked. "Will Spike be human?"

"What?" Spike exclaimed. "I do not want to be human. I like being a vampire!"

"No, no, no!" Keebler shook his head. "Not to worry, Spike. Once your soul is fully restored, the hyena will desist. Once your soul is formed, you will be able to continue your path to a well balanced bond. Hoping Spike's demon will accept it, that is."

"What do you mean by restoring his soul?" Xander said slowly. He glanced over at Spike, who had suddenly gone rigid.

"Oh, hell no!" Spike leapt off the table and began pacing around the white office. "I am not getting cursed like the poof! I will not spend the rest of eternity not getting to have sex with Xander." Xander, despite himself, preened. "It is not happening! Forget it."

"Ac-"

"No!" Spike interrupted. "Don't you bloody listen? I'm not doing it."

"Yes, bu-"

"Not happening." Spike growled.

"Are you quite done?" Keebler asked, sighing. Spike paused, before nodding. "I never said you needed to be cursed. You just need your soul restored to full strength. We are not talking about some gypsy curse like that poor Angelus went through. Angelus had no soul left in him. The gypsies went through a lot of trouble and hassle to curse him, and that's why they added the happiness clause. They wanted to make sure the only way for him to lose his soul would be the one thing that he would feel too guilty to do: love. Though, I heard he got over that little problem."

"Yeah, a few years ago. But he got recursed." Xander said.

"Tsk. Heaven's no." Keebler chuckled. "That little witch from Sunnydale has not the power to create the vengeful nature of a gypsy curse!"

"You mean..." Xander trailed off, looking over at Spike.

"Huh. That explains him and the half-breed." Spike commented.

"No, Spike. Think about what he just said." Xander told him.

"Right. The poof can get laid." Spike shrugged. "So what?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Xander growled. 

"What are you going on about, whelp?" Spike asked. He yelped as Xander grabbed him by the lapels of his duster and pressed him against the wall. Xander's eyes flashed green and Spike fought down a groan. No matter how much he denied it, this side of Xander never ceased to turn him on.

"He said that Willow didn't curse Angel. He said that Willow simply restored his soul." Xander said slowly.

"You mean... Red knows how to restore a soul? Without the happiness clause?" Spike asked, his eyes widening. "Oh! Umm... yay?"

"What do you mean, yay?" Xander frowned slightly, releasing his hold of the vampire. "Aren't you happy. We can restore your soul. The hyena... I... Will be satisfied and you wont have to hurt anymore."

"Yeah, I know." Spike mumbled, looking away.

"You don't want to?" Xander sounded like a little boy. Spike closed his eyes, knowing full well it wouldn't block Xander out.

"Said I wanted this fixed, didn't I?" Spike replied.

"You just don't want to do it if the result is forever with me." Xander said coldly.

"Dammit, pet-" Spike started.

"I am not your pet!" Xander yelled, causing Spike to press himself further into the wall. "I'm your mate. You made a choice, remember? Last night when you told me that you loved me? You chose me, Spike. You chose to be with me. Why do you keep changing your mind?"

"I... I don't know." Spike whispered.

"Well, it's rather obvious." Keebler announced from behind them.

"Excuse me?" Xander asked, staring the doctor down.

"Well, at the moment Spike is bouncing between having a demon in control to having William in control." Keebler said. "The demon isn't too pleased with this entire affair. William, if his soul truly does describe him, is a romantic in nature and is, literally, willing to give himself to you forever. It's the demon that keeps putting the doubts in Spike's mind. And the problem with that is that Spike is, essentially, both William and the demon vampire. Their disagreement on this one subject is causing quite a conflict."

"Is it really?" Spike asked sarcastically.

"No need to be snippy." Keebler told him, sniffing dramatically. Keebler stood, his eyes finally drawn to his now broken magnifying glass. He waved his hand absentmindedly and barely noticed as the magnifying glass restored itself. Turning, he eyed Xander and Spike. "I've given you all that I can. It's your choice now."

"Yeah, thanks." Xander said, his eyes turning back to Spike. Spike shifted uncomfortably.

"Not a problem. It was a pleasure." Keebler smiled, then held out a hand. "That will be three hundred dollars."

It was nearly dawn when Spike and Xander returned to Angel's basement apartment. Despite both knowing that Angel and Doyle were still up - they could hear them talking from outside the door - they attempted to sneak in. It was their hope that they would not be noticed and therefore could sit down and actually talk. Well, that was Xander's hope. Spike was hoping that he could get Xander all hot and bothered, resulting in the vampire getting some and Xander forgetting about the problem at hand.

Neither worked.

"Well?" Angel asked, the moment Spike carefully shut the door behind him. Both men stared at Angel. Doyle watched from his seat on the couch as Spike fought some strange instinct to whine like a teenager getting caught sneaking out.

"Well, what?" Xander asked, meeting Angel's gaze. Angel looked away. He really didn't like this new side of Xander. It made him feel... bested for some reason. 

"What did the doctor say?" Angel asked, fighting his own impatience.

"First of all," Xander started, slipping past Angel in order to join Doyle on the couch. "What the heck kind of a name is Keebler? Second of all... Well, it's not my place."

"Too bad, too sad. Better luck next time, eh poof?" Spike grinned. Xander glared. "Right, fine. I got a bloody soul. It's a little... broken up, but it's there."

"You have a soul?" Angel asked, his words coming out slowly.

"Yes. I. Have. A. Soul." Spike replied, as though talking to a child. "And guess what, Peaches! I got mine without a curse. In fact, I never lost it."

"The doctor told you this?" Angel questioned. Spike nodded. "Humph. Well, you always were the black sheep of the family."

"This coming from the Manilow fan?" Spike asked lightly. Both Doyle and Xander were surprised to see the smallest of smiles appear on Angel's face.

"When are you leaving?" Angel asked.

"At dusk." Spike replied.

"Very well. You can have the couch again. Just... Please... Don't have sex. The smell will not go away." Angel said, before turning and leaving the living room. Doyle immediately stood and followed his sleepy lover into their bedroom. Neither noticed the lecherous grin that Spike turned on Xander, but they did hear Xander yelp of surprise when Spike leapt on top of him. Sighing, Angel slammed the bedroom door shut in hopes to block out the noise.

"Woah!" Xander exclaimed, pushing Spike away. "What? Now you want to get groiny? I thought you didn't want to be with me anymore! Mr. I Keep Changing My Stupid Mind!"

"You're still upset about that?" Spike asked. "Sheesh, let it go, mate. We'll get it all straightened out when we get back to Sunnydale, right?" Spike slid across the couch until he was practically in Xander's lap. "Now, where were we?"

"With me about to stop." Xander said, his voice hard. He turned glowing green eyes to Spike, a low growl emitting from his chest. "I'm not something to be played with."

"Never said you were." Spike said softly.

"If you don't want to be with me, then I'm not going to bother attempting to mate with you." Xander told him. "I'm not playing around. I'm serious, Spike. You don't seem to understand that."

"I do know that you're serious!" Spike snapped. "I get it, I really do. I can't help that my moods are bouncing off the wall, Xander. I don’t know what to do about it. I want you. My body wants you. My mind wants you. My heart wants you. But there is this tiny part of me that keeps screaming no!"

"The demon." 

"No! It's not just that." Spike sighed, looking away from Xander's gaze. "It's not that simple. They aren't two separate beings, like that doctor insinuated. Me? I'm both, Xander. I'm both the soul and the demon, there is no separation like there is with Angel. I just... Have doubts."

"What doubts?" Xander asked.

"I don’t know. I'm afraid..." Spike closed his eyes, grimacing at the word. "I... I really am, okay? I'm afraid I'm going to get used to this and... And then it will be gone. You'll leave me."

"Why would I leave you?" Xander asked, gently wrapping his arms around Spike's waist. He rested his chin on Spike's shoulder, gazing up at the vampire's stressed expression. "I can't live without you."

"Everyone leaves me, pet." Spike snorted, sounding disgusted with himself. "Cecily. Angelus. Dru. Hell, even Harmony left me. If Harmony of all people could find me worthless then why would you want me?"

"I..." Xander trailed off, unsure with what to say. Unconsciously, he felt a vibration echo from his chest. A soft purr filled the room, still harsh like a hyena's, but never the less filled with comfort. Xander knew there were no words to prove that he wouldn't leave Spike. Sighing, he pulled the quiet vampire closer.


	12. Chapter 12

Xander could feel something was happening. He couldn't explain it, but he knew it was there. Maybe it was the hyena, maybe it was simply the fact that Spike wouldn't look at him. All he knew was that something was about to happen. 

They returned to Sunnydale just after midnight. The town was quiet, filled with sleeping humans. Xander knew Buffy was somewhere hunting down vampires. Willow was most likely asleep, cuddled close to Tara. Giles, well, that was an obvious one. Giles would be up reading and researching. Hoping to catch the next apocalypse before it started.

Xander pulled up to his home, the weed-filled yard making him frown. He could see tire marks in the driveway, the smell of tar a few hours old. He knew his father was off drinking in town. His mother appeared to be asleep. Sighing, Xander turned to Spike. 

The vampire had not spoken since they had awakened on the couch earlier that night. He continued to stare out the window even now. Xander could practically hear the wheels in his mind grate as the vampire thought. He wasn't sure what Spike was thinking about. There were so many options. Their relationship. His soul. Trust.

Xander closed his eyes before opening the car door. Getting out, he slammed it shut behind him, ignoring the small part of his mind that told him he should not be angry. He couldn't help it. Ever since the hyena had resurfaced his entire world had practically centered around Spike. He devoted everything to the vampire, to attaining him and keeping him for all time. How is it Spike didn't trust him to not leave him?

Face it, Xander thought to himself, you're just not worth trusting.

What basis did Spike really have to trust him, anyway? He had threatened to kill him from the moment they first met. Their existence had always been kill or be killed, don't let the other win. Until Xander had started to think of Spike as an equal, Xander never had given trust between them much thought.

Xander looked back at the car, noticing that Spike was still sitting in the passenger seat, the same thoughtful frown on his face. Taking a deep breath, Xander walked around the car and opened the passenger door. Kneeling, he carefully unbuckled the seatbelt that Xander had forced Spike to wear. Spike turned and looked at him mutely. It was something that scared Xander to the core.

"Spike?" Xander whispered. He reached up and brushed a falling curl back. The vampire had to do without gel that evening. Angel had refused to let him borrow any. While it had agitated Spike, Xander found his liked Spike's hair that way. "Spike, you okay?"

Spike blinked at him, then climbed out the car, pushing Xander back as he went. Xander fought back the growl that wanted to rise. Spike ignored him and looked up at the house listlessly. Then, after a moment's pause, he turned and headed for the street.

"Where are you going?" Xander asked, grabbing Spike arm. It was the wrong move. Spike whipped around, game face showing, and hissed at him. Unable to control his own instincts, Xander's eyes glowed and he bared his teeth. A low growl emitted from his throat. Spike let out an angry roar, yanking his arm out of Xander's grip.

As Spike turned to walk off, Xander's anger took over. Growling, he grabbed Spike and pulled him hard against him, back to chest. Spike struggled, trying not to hurt Xander in the process so it wouldn't set off the chip. Xander's hands locked around Spike's wrists and his twisted the vampire around, looking into his face. Spike's game face melted away, revealing his fearful look. Xander's growl softened, but he didn't release his hold on Spike.

"Mine." Xander demanded.

"Let me go." Spike ordered, his eyes hardening.

"You're staying with me tonight." Xander informed him, ignoring Spike's demand.

"Like hell I am!" Spike exclaimed, once again struggling to get lose. Xander simply refused to notice the twists and jerks of Spike's body. He held on tighter to the vampire and dragged him around the house to the basement door. Spike knew that if he had a heart it would be beating out of his rib cage from fear. Xander was nearly as strong as he was, now that the hyena added to the human's power. And with Spike unable to truly hurt Xander... A shiver ran through Spike's body.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Xander told him as he unlocked the basement door. Spike didn't respond. Instead, he allowed himself to be gently tugged down the steps and into the dark room within. 

Xander turned on the lights as he went, making their way over to his unmade bed. Slowly, he turned Spike toward the bed and worked at taking off the vampire's prized duster. With a careful hand, he made Spike sit down and knelt in front of him. After slipping off his shoes and socks, Xander reached forward to unbutton Spike's shirt. 

"What are you doing?" Spike asked softly, causing Xander to jump slightly.

"Helping you get ready for bed." Xander replied, glancing up into Spike's face. The vampire's mouth was set into a frown, his eyes slightly confused. Something dawned in the back of Xander's head. "What did you think I was going to do, Spike?"

Xander could tell that if Spike could, he would blush. "Didn't think anything, Xander."

"Yeah, okay." Xander said softly, narrowing his eyes at the vampire. Spike let out a frustrated sound.

"You were acting a bit strange, is all. It's not like I can defend myself from you." Spike explained.

"Spike." Xander reached up and gently trailed a finger down his cheek before allowing the hand to fall away. "I don't know what to do to prove to you that I love you. You want an explanation as to why I feel this way? Or why I won't leave you? I'm sorry. I can't give you that. I would never intentionally leave you, Spike. I can't make the promise it won't happen. Or that I won't ever hurt you. I can't do that because I have no control over what happens around us. All I can say is that I will never do it with intention."

Spike stared at him, looking a mix between apprehensive and confused. Xander watched him for a moment, before once again reaching for Spike's shirt. Spike didn't interfere, he simply sat there and mutely allowed Xander unclothe him. Once the shirt was tossed on top of the duster, Xander paused. Xander took a moment to look at him, gathering some sort of nerve before carefully unbuttoning Spike's jeans.

"Uh, pet?" Spike whispered, afraid of breaking the silence that had descended upon the room.

"Yeah?" Xander asked, stopping at the first button.

"I wouldn't do that."

"Why?" Xander asked, his face openly curious.

"I'mnotwearingunderwear." Spike mumbled. Xander raised an eyebrow, silently asking what Spike meant. "Bloody hell. I'm not wearing underwear."

"Oh." Xander blinked, but didn't blush. He honestly didn't think he was capable of blushing, not as much anyway. Not since the hyena. Not since he had given Spike a blow job in an alley, in front of Deadboy of all people. Xander closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and finally sent Spike a smile. "You can sleep in your jeans then. Unless you want to borrow some sweats?"

"I'm all right, pet." Spike replied. Xander stepped back, letting Spike crawl underneath the covers. The vampire didn't look at him. Xander was shocked to find that he wasn't as upset about Spike's little words or motions that normally showed the sign of disrespect. Maybe the hyena was finally use to Spike's general attitude towards everyone and everything. Maybe Xander no longer cared about respect, as long as Spike was with him.

It was too much to think about. Xander tried to force it out of his mind as he changed into some more comfortable clothing. He didn't want to worry and pine over Spike and him for all eternity. If they couldn’t get over this bump -- admittedly, a large bump -- then the rest of their time together was going to be the most depressing thing since the development of country music.

Sighing, Xander slipped underneath the covers. He gave into temptation and curled up to Spike's quiet form. The vampire wasn't asleep. Instead he was staring up at the ceiling, a small frown playing at his lips. Xander wanted nothing more than to kiss that frown away, but he wasn't sure if it would be at all accepted.

Spike felt the warmth encase him and Xander's arms slipped around his waist. His frown deepened despite welcoming the touch. He could sense the unease that coated Xander's scent, leaving the boy almost depressed. Spike wanted to comfort him, but his own emotions clouded his mind. He couldn’t seem to get one thought straight. He knew he wanted Xander. He would be a fool not to. Yet, something inside him didn't want to trust the boy. Perhaps it was simply because of who they were. They use to be enemies. Hell, Spike had once tried to kill Xander.

Things use to be so simple. So easy. See human, like human, kill human. That was the way it worked. If he found himself getting attached, he would use his nickname well. He couldn't allow himself to love anyone other than Dru. But she was gone and Xander was here. 

Besides he was a Master Vampire. The only reason he flaunted the title as he did was because that gave him the excuse that he could essentially do what he wanted. That's what being a Master Vampire is all about. He didn't take orders from anyone. He did what he wanted, when he wanted. He took what he wanted, as well.

What did he want? Spike allowed his eyes to trail over to Xander. The part-hyena was staring at Spike's shoulder, his face looking tired. Spike closed his eyes a moment. What did he want?

He wanted Xander.

The real question then, was could he trust Xander enough to allow himself to get close. He didn't want a repeat of every other relationship in his life. Cecily never wanted him to begin with. Angelus had wanted him for a split moment in time, right after Darla had left him when Spike was still a fledge. Drusilla had kept him for a century, but it had never been easy. There were periods, sometimes even decades, when she would hardly talk to him. Their love was like her attention span, short lived but always there. Harmony, well, she was just a joyride that came to a crashing stop.

What would Xander be? Would he stick around until one day he realized Spike had meant eternity? Did Xander as a human even like him, or was it all the animal within him? There were too many questions and not enough answers. Yet, Xander was right. There were no answers. They'd never find any. Spike simply had to trust him.

In order to trust Xander he had to trust him? What kind of sense did that make?

"Spike." Xander said softly. "You think too much. Why don't you try to sleep? We can worry in the morning."

Those simple words held so much meaning. Spike almost wanted to cry when he realized what they proved. Xander really did care for him. It was in the tone he used. The words selected. The comfort in his arms. It was, essentially, an epiphany. 

Opening his eyes, Spike looked over. Their eyes met and locked together. Xander's arms tightened around his waist. Spike felt comfortable. Happy. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" Xander asked, his eyebrows coming together in question.

"Love so easily."

"I..." Xander looked away. "I don't know. I've always been like that. I'm the heart."

"The what?" Spike turned onto his side so he could see Xander better.

"The heart. I don't know what I mean." Xander laughed at himself. "I'm just talking."

"I don't mind." Spike said honestly. Xander stared at him.

"Something's changed." Xander whispered. "What is it, Spike? What are you thinking about?"

"I'm just realizing a few things, love." Spike told him. He couldn't help himself, he suddenly had to be closer to Xander's warmth. His own arms wrapped around Xander's body, curling closer. Their bodies now touched, inch by inch. This was bliss. Spike sighed and pressed his forehead against Xander's own. "Do you think that it's wrong to jump into something without thinking it over?"

"No." Xander replied. "Some things require thought and time. Some things you simply need a second to think over. A second to see what's in front of you."

"It's taken me longer than a second, pet." Spike said softly.

"You always were a little slow." Xander quipped.

"You wound me." Spike muttered, his eyes once again closed. Xander smiled at the completely unguarded expression on Spike's face.

"Spike." Xander waited until Spike had reopened his eyes before continuing. "Can... Can I kiss you?"

"It's not like you to be uncomfortable with open affection, Xander." Spike noted, before leaning that fraction of an inch closer that brought their lips together.

This kiss was different than the others. It was soft and gentle, this was true, but that wasn't what stood out in Xander's mind. The glide of Spike's lips against his. The bottled up passion that was so obvious. The small sensation of a shudder running down Xander's spine. It was like Spike was feeding him his soul. A fractured, part in hell soul, but his soul none the less.

Xander awoke with a evenly temperature body laying literally on top of him. The body, despite it's lack of breathing, was awake. A hand was sliding up and down the side of Xander's torso. A face was buried in the crook of his neck, a mouth pressed to his skin. A sound of happiness escaped Xander's throat and he finally opened his eyes. "Hey, you."

"Shut up, whelp." Spike muttered, before pressing their lips together. Xander gave a grunt of surprise, but immediately chose not to question Spike's sudden passion.

The vampire's hands were everywhere, and Xander honestly couldn't figure out how Spike had managed to grow three sets of hands. Letting out a small moan, Xander rolled them until he was resting on top of the blonde. Spike arched up to him, breaking the kiss long enough to allow Xander a small breath. Xander could feel his hips thrusting downward, Spike's muscular body rising to meet him, and the smooth taste that was pure Spike that was on his lips. He felt detached from reality, simply reveling in the sensations. His mind was clouded, a small voice in his head that he reconigsed as the hyena telling him to take, want, have, mark, mate.

Flesh pressed against flesh and soon there was nothing separating them. Xander briefly wondered if he would ever find his boxers again, considering how far Spike had threw them. The thought was gone in an instant, though, when he felt a hand wrap around his hardening cock. Xander drew in a sharp breath, pulling Spike closer.

Spike's hands were soft, something Xander doubted had changed since he was human. There where no rough spots that were noticeable, at least not through the pleasure that Xander was experiencing. A moan filled the air, Xander's face pressing against Spike's neck. Spike had to of been a writer.

The sudden urge to touch and feel overtook Xander, pushing him away from the sinful bliss that Spike was creating. Slowly, Xander trailed his hands down, before hooks them under the vampire's kneels. He pulled, bringing Spike flat onto his back and lifting his legs to wrap around his waist. Pressing himself flush against Spike's chest, he could feel Spike's cock lined up next to his own. A shudder ran through the vampire.

"Want you, Spike." Xander whispered, starting a slow thrust. Spike let out a low whine of pleasure. "Want to take you. Want to taste you. Want to make you scream."

"Do it." Spike practically ordered. "Make me scream, pet. Make me beg for it."

Xander thanked whatever lubricant fairies that were looking out for them as he pulled a jar of Vaseline out of his bedside dresser. Xander wasted no time in preparing Spike, stretching and teasing at the same time.

Then he was home. There was other ways to describe the moment. Union. Thrusting. Simply sex. But it was so much more. Xander felt as though he could do this forever, and not because of his abnormally high stamina. It just felt perfect, almost too perfect. The slide and arch of Spike's body. The tight channel that squeezed at his cock. The tiny wince on Spike's face that proved that he had been turned a virgin. The sight of his face reacting as a dull ache morphed into erupting pleasure.

Spike's legs tightened around his waist, his back practically twisting as he came. Spurts of come slicked Xander's stomach. Xander thrusted harder, still hitting that spot inside that made Spike shudder and whimper after his orgasm. A hard kiss, then Xander pulled away as his own orgasm attacked him. He gave in to pure instinct as his pleasure rode out it's peak. Xander's face buried itself into Spike's neck, not even pausing before biting down hard. 

Spike let out a yowl, though it could hardly be considered one of pain. His body tightened like a drawstring as yet another orgasm racked his body. Xander could taste blood on his lips and, without even thinking about it, he lapped at the minor wound. Then, after falling onto his side, Xander pulled the panting vampire against him, his own breath hard and shallow.

"I've made... My choice." Spike gasped out. Xander remained quiet, allowing Spike the time to talk. Not to mention to give himself the time to allow his heartbeat to return to normal. After a moment's pause, Spike continued. "I'm not letting Red do the spell."

"Oh." Xander replied, momentarily shocked. "...Why?"

"I just..." Spike sighed, rolling over in Xander's arms in order to look at him. "I don't trust her to muck it up."

"Willow won't-"

"She means well, I know." Spike interrupted. "But I've done too much to her and her own. I can't trust her not to curse me, even without meaning to. I need someone indifferent to me. Someone who just possibly likes me."

"Who would that be?" Xander asked.

"Red's girl." Spike said, meeting Xander's eyes.

"You think Tara can?"

"The little witch is stronger than she lets others believe, pet." Spike said softly. "She'll do it right and proper."

"Alright." Xander nodded. "We'll go talk to her after sunset."


	13. Chapter 13

"Xander!" Tara exclaimed, opening her door. She peered past Xander's shoulder at the pale blonde who hovered behind him. "And Spike. What can I do for you? Willow's not here."

"Well, that's makes things a lot easier." Xander sighed. "Can we come in?"

"Sure." Tara held open the door, allowing Xander to enter. Spike gave her a pointed look, remaining just outside. "Oh, sorry. Come in, Spike."

"Look, I'll just get straight to the point." Spike immediately said when the door was shut. Tara crossed her arms nervously. "I need you to do me a favor."

"W-what sort of favor?" Tara asked.

"Went and saw me a doctor in L.A." Spike said, looking over at Xander. "Told me an interesting story about a soul and a hyena. Something about a bonding. Know what I'm talking about, pet?"

"Bonding?" Tara frowned slightly before a look of recognition appeared. "Oh! You mean between... Both of you?"

"That's right." Spike smiled. "Knew you were a smart one."

"So... What do you need me to do?" Tara questioned, sitting next to Xander on the bed.

"Just a spell." Spike replied. "Something to bring the spark back."

"What Spike is slowly getting at is he wants you to do a spell to give him his soul." Xander announced. "Well, finish his soul... Er, put it back together? I don't know how to phrase it exactly, but Spike has parts of his soul. They are there, only not whole. He wants you to make his soul whole."

"Like the curse?" Tara had already developed the thoughtful look she got when thinking of magic.

"No, I want to be able to shag, thanks." Spike told her. Tara blushed lightly at his words. "'Sides, pet, you don't have enough anger in you to curse me."

"You'd be surprised, Spike." Tara replied, giving him a slight smile, before clearing her throat. "Are you sure you don't want Willow to do this?"

"Spike doesn't trust her." Xander said bluntly. "If Spike doesn't want Willow doing it, then she won't. He wants you."

"Oh. Okay." Tara took a deep breath. "Willow still has the supplies for Angel, but if you don't want it to be a curse then maybe we should do this another way."

"What do you mean?" Spike asked, watching as the blonde witch began pulling a stack of books off her bookshelf.

"If you already have fragments of your soul, then maybe we can do a spell to unite them." Tara looked over at Xander. "Sort of how we united the hyena with you. This will be much more difficult, however. With you we were uniting two halves that were present. If Spike's soul is stuck in another time and space, like heaven, then it will take a lot more power."

"Do whatever you must." Xander said. "We'll give you whatever you need."

"I'm going to have to research this." Tara informed them. "It may take me a while, but I don't want to screw it up. If I could get Will-"

"No." Spike interrupted. "I don't want anyone else knowing. We'll tell the Watcher, since he's already involved, but no one else. Not until we know it's going to work. Got it?"

"Yeah. Got it." Tara nodded.

Giles turned out to be oddly supportive. If it wasn't for the Spike having a soul, and therefore becoming a good guy aspect, Xander would have thought the Watcher was up to something. Still, it was nice to have someone back them up, even with all the stammering and scrubbing of lenses. Xander suspected the Watcher was embarrassed by Spike sudden insistence at crawling into Xander's lap and humping him. 

Xander couldn't explain for the life of him what had gotten into his vampire. For someone who fought their relationship for so long, he sure did enjoy physical contact. It wasn't even sexual most of the time. The vampire used any excuse to cuddle up to him. Tara insisted it was adorable and no one would be offended. But Xander knew better.

One week later and things were going wonderfully. Xander and Spike's relationship had taken on a whole new meaning. Spike had definitely gotten over his fears. Xander was ecstatic to have his mate constantly at his side. The only thing to ruin it was the time they spent with the Scoobies. Riley had taken it upon himself to come to the meetings more often, much to Xander's displeasure. While his hateful opinion of the soldier had lessened considerably, he still didn't trust him. Especially when he kept slipping up and calling Spike 'Hostile 17'.

It was a Sunday, with no cloud in the sky and no impending doom. Tara called him at noon, interrupting one of his and Spike's moments of sexual frenzy. The excited witch spoke more in that single phone call than he had ever heard her speak. Apparently they were to come to the Magic Box's training room after dusk. Xander grunted a reply, hung up the phone, and went back to making Spike yowl like a cat.

There were already two occupants in the room when Xander and Spike arrived. Tara was busy painting a pale blue pentacle on the floor, while Giles was setting up candles around the room. Xander could already feel the tingle of magic in the room. He senses immediately went on guard, despite there being no general danger. 

Spike entered behind him, took one long glance at the room, and sat down in the corner. He looked for all the world like someone about to get laid, but Xander knew better. Spike had made a point to be near him ever since the phone call. Even now he was discreetly holding onto the tail of Xander's coat as the nearly human stood next to him. Spike never liked magic, and he hated it even more when he was on the receiving end.

"Okay, g-guys?" Tara cleared her throat nervously. "Everything is prepared. Umm, I thought I would go over the spell with you before we begin. It's actually rather simple. You'll sit inside the pentacle on the floor, holding hands. Spike needs someone as his guide during the spell, so I figured Xander would probably do that. Now, the spell itself will take you to the Higher Plane, a place that your soul resides. Hopefully, you'll be able to retrieve the rest of Spike's soul and return to this plane of existence. Any questions?"

"What happens if we can't find his soul?" Xander asked.

"I wouldn't really worry about that." Tara replied. "His soul will feel a strange attraction towards you. Most likely you won't even have to search, it will come to you."

"Let's get this over with." Spike interrupted. Following Tara's directions, they placed themselves in the circles. Tara began muttering and Giles chanted. Spike's wide blue eyes stared across to Xander, looking scared but defiant. Xander gave him a small smile for comfort. 

Then everything turned white.

It took a moment for Xander's eyes to adjust. He stood in what he assumed was a large white room. He couldn't be certain, as the area gave off the feeling of having no walls or a ceiling. The floor felt stable, however. Reaching out, Xander made to grab Spike's hand. When his fingers enclosed on air, Xander's head whipped around. There was no one there. Breathing deeply, Xander could find no scent in the room. It was as though he was the only one there.

A sound to his right caught his attention. A dark shadow slowly appeared. It stalked low to the ground, on all fours. It's back was oddly shaped. Narrowing his eyes, Xander held back a gasp as the shadow turned into a fully grown female hyena. Xander felt himself panic, wanting to back away from the large beast that was staring him down. The familiar laugh of a hyena filled the air as the hyena's jaws snapped once.

"Don't let her bother you, soldier." A gruff voice said behind him. Spinning, Xander came face to face with himself. The other Xander was dressed in military garb, with a hard looking face and a single scar down one cheek.

"Who are you?" Xander asked. He took a step back, but stopped when he heard the hyena growl.

"The best answer to that, soldier, would be you. The same goes for her." The man gave him a wolfish grin. "We are the hidden parts of your mind, in a sense. Well, sort of hidden."

"What is that suppose to mean? Where is Spike?"

"The vampire is fine, for now." The soldier told him. "You will catch up to him soon. Now, let's get started."

"Started?" Xander asked, frowning. His senses were feeling off, as though he was once again without the hyena. Blinking, Xander glanced back at the large animal. She paced behind him, still staring. "Get what started?"

"You came for a union. It's what you will get." The soldier replied calmly. He suddenly reached out, grabbing Xander by the shoulders and dragging him forward. "Don't fear us. We are you."

Before Xander could reply the hyena let out a yelp of excitement. Xander felt something hard hit him from behind, clawed paws digging into his shoulder blades. Falling forward, he collided with the soldier. Feeling their weight drag him down, Xander closed his eyes and waited. The expecting feel of the tearing of his own flesh by that of the hyena never happened. In fact, the weight on his back was gone, as was the feel of a body beneath him.

Slowly standing, Xander searched the space around him for any sign of the other two beings. When none appeared, he shook his head. "Weird."

His mutter was answered by a loud roar. Immediately his brain chose three paths to take. One, which he recognized vaguely as the soldier, told him to investigate. The second, which was the hyena, told him to find and protect his mate. The third was the plain, human Xander. It told him to run away. 

All three choices were taken away from him the moment he heard the scream. It was his own name, yelled loud and clear by a terrified voice. Xander knew who it was the moment it reached his ears. Immediately he ran, trying to focus on where the cry had originated. The vast white space seemed to last forever. There was no end, and no beginning. No ceilings. No walls. Xander could feel his breath shorten, his body sweat. He seemed to be running for eternity, and yet he never once moved.

Until a small pinpoint of color appeared in front of him. It grew as he rushed toward it. The bright color of bronze, with a small pinprick of candlelight. The circle grew, until the white world was no more. Instead, Xander stood in a flame lit room fashioned for the 1800s. There was a sense of familiarity with the room. Xander's senses suddenly rushed around him. He could smell the oil used on the lamps. A soft British voice spoke in terrible, and yet emotional, rhyme. The gentle swish of a woman's skirts. The tinkle of laughter, soothing and motherly. 

Xander took another step forward and a sofa appeared in the corner of the room. Sitting on the sofa was an elderly woman, the soft scent of sickness wafting from her form. She gazed upward with a smile, her blue eyes reminding Xander of the man standing before her. Xander fought the desire to dart toward the figure of Spike, but he restrained himself. This wasn't Spike. The cultured voice, the lack of a slouch, the gentle smile, and the historical clothing. 

This was William.

Xander felt a part of him become confused. This person smelt like Spike. This was his mate. And yet he wasn't. He could only push back his instincts and listen to William speak.

"I've cast away such dreams as this.  
Never knowing what I would miss.  
Broken hearts lay upon the ground,  
Placed by her hand as she uttered not a sound.  
Behold the light!  
Glittering into my night.  
It is a savior for me.  
There is no one as handsome as he.  
His named will forever cause wonder,  
For he is my love, my Alexander."

"Oh, lovely darling." William's mother exclaimed softly, his delicate hands clapping gracefully. Xander watched as William sat down on the sofa, his eyes wide with shock. "Tell me, love. Where did you see this Alexander you speak of so highly?"

"It is strange, mother." William replied. "But I had a dream. I was not aware the dead could dream, but it must have been in my dreams. I've been seeing things of the monster I became. It is almost as though I am there. So strange, yet so familiar."

"I think we have been here too long, my son. You speak such fantasies." His mother chuckled.

"Perhaps I do, but it's so peculiar, mother." William sighed and rested his head on his mother's shoulder. "These images and feelings are so real. I wish ever so much that I had not given into that woman's siren song. Then perhaps I would of been able to truly feel love. I think that if I had experienced love, this is what it would feel like."

"What ever helps, love. It is a long eternity that awaits us." Was the reply.

"Do you feel that?" William suddenly asked, standing up. His eyes darted around the room, before turning to look in Xander's direction. "There is something coming. If feels... So familiar."

"I'll take this moment to assume you can't see me?" Xander offered up when William appeared to stare right past him. William slowly walked forward, stopping when came to about a foot worth of distance. Raising a hand, he held it an inch above Xander's chest, a confused look on his face.

"It's warm." William commented.

"Shit! I leave you alone for five minutes and you're already flirting with the other me?" Spike's voice asked, suddenly appearing next to him. Xander made a move to reply, but William's reaction to Spike's appearance was more interesting by far. The young British spirit looked like he was going to have a heart attack. He was staring at the spot Spike stood with wide, scared eyes.

"He's here." William hissed. "He's here. I can feel him. God, he's everywhere."

"Oh great." Spike sighed. Xander finally looked over at him, blinking at the small bruise forming on Spike's cheek. "I had a run in with what appeared to be my demon. He had a few things to say, is all. But don't worry, I think he has more respect for you now." Spike turned back to the panicking William. "Did I really look that poncy?"

"I think you look sweet." Xander replied.

"You would." Spike snorted. "So, how do we do this?"

"Well, we have the chant Tara gave us, right? I suggest you tackle poet boy to the ground and we get home." Xander said.

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Spike grinned. With a small chuckle, Spike leapt on top of his human self. William immediately began to scream, his voice high pitched and piercing as he batted at the invisible being that was latched onto him. The words to the chant came easily to Xander, though he'll never be able to understand how he managed to speak the complex words while watching William and Spike roll around on the ground.

The sight was oddly erotic.

"Spike?" A soft female voice asked. Xander blinked slowly. He could feel the floor below him. Candles surrounded the room. Yet, everything seemed blurry. In the fogged area of his mind, he could hear a whimper. Tara's voice cut further into his brain, almost going as far as clearing his vision. "Oh, Goddess, Mr. Giles! We have to stop him from hurting himself."

Xander struggled to his hands and knees. Carefully, he crawled his way over to Spike. Everything remained blurry, nearly impossible to see, but he could feel Spike. The vampire was pressed against the nearest wall, a distressed noise echoing from his throat. Xander forced himself closer, until he was able to slide his arms around the shivering form. Pressing his face into Spike's bleached hair, Xander allowed himself the time to learn to breathe properly and see before inspecting his mate.

Spike fidgeted in his arms, his hands like claws. Grabbing a hold of his wrists, Xander pulled Spike's hands away before they could go back to scratching at his arms. The slight scent of blood immediately wafted up into Xander's nose from where Spike had already cut into the skin. Taking a deep, calming breath, Xander began to whisper in Spike's ear.

"Shhh, Spike." Xander felt Spike still in his arms. "It's okay, Spike. You're okay now. You're fine. Shh, I won't let anything happen to you. My mate."

"A-Alexander?" An extremely cultured voice asked. Xander blinked away the last of his blurry vision and pulled back far enough to look into Spike's face. Spike looked up at him with a very confused expression. His blue eyes were wide. His mouth was parted enough to allow shallow gasps to escape. "Oh, God... This hardly feels like a dream."

"S-spike?" Xander gulped, then shook his head slightly. "You're William, aren't you?"


	14. Chapter 14

"What is going on, Tara?" Xander asked in a low voice. He peered through the crack in the door, leading into the training room. Inside he could see William shifting through a book that Giles had given him, almost as though he was a child that needed to be entertained.

"I... I d-don't know, exactly." Tara replied, before flinching at Xander's warning growl. "As far as I can tell, the spell worked perfectly. His soul is there, right b-before your eyes. Whole, complete. It's just... His memory is that of the spirit you retrieved, not the fragments that existed here."

"What is that suppose to mean?" Xander walked away from the door and stared at an invisible point on the wall. His body felt itchy. He needed to move, to do something.

"Again... With the not knowing." Tara took a deep breath. "Look, from what I can tell that is still, essentially, Spike. His aura hasn't altered that much. There are no definitive breaks suggesting a host change."

"But it has altered?" Xander was quick to jump onto the one negative thing she had said. He felt his muscles tense at the thought of something being wrong with Spike.

"It's not as vibrant as it once was." Tara replied. "It's like... The demon is hiding or something. I'm not certain, X-Xander. He's very shy."

"You can tell that from his aura?" Xander asked, peeking back through the door. William was still looking at the book, which was held close to his narrowed eyes.

"It's kind of a gift." Tara said softly.

"It's a good thing to have." Xander told her, giving her a small smile. He took a deep breath and made to walk back into the training room. Laughter from the Magic Box's doorway stopped him, however. "Damn it."

"Hey, guys!" Buffy greeted as Willow and her entered the shop, Riley trailing behind as usual. "What's with the long faces?"

"It's nothing." Tara said quickly, giving Xander a questioning look. 

"It's Spike." Xander said honestly.

"Oh, lovely." Buffy rolled her eyes. "What did Fangless do this time?" Buffy's eyes widened dramatically at the deep growl that suddenly emitted from Xander. Clearing her throat, Buffy quickly apologized. "Sorry, uh... What happened?"

"He has a soul." Xander replied softly. Buffy's eyes widened in response, while Willow gasped next to her.

"How?" Willow whispered. Tara fidgeted slightly, looking down at the ground. "Tara? You... Did this? I don't understand..."

"Giles will explain." Xander said curtly. He spun on his heel and slipped through the training room door. After a quick word, Giles left to explain to the rest of the group. Xander hovered in Giles' spot, watching as Sp-- no, William -- tried to read the book. After a few moments, William raised his eyes to meet Xander's.

"Alexander." William quickly rose to his feet, his body screaming nervousness. Xander tried not to look away. It was too hard to see Spike like this. This person, while he was a part of Spike, was different. He smelled the same, but the hyena wasn't sure. 

"William." Xander greeted. "So, uh, what are you reading?"

"I honestly do not know." William admitted, chuckling lightly. "It would be delightful if I had my spectacles on hand. Sadly, I'm afraid they would be rather worn out considering out long I've been... Well, I suppose dead is the proper word?"

"I know things are a bit weird at the moment... You seem to know who I am, so that's good." Xander commented.

"Oh, I could never forget you, Alexander." William said in a wistful voice. "I've dreamed of you before I even knew your name."

"I don't really see how that's possible." Xander shifted from foot to foot.

"Is something wrong?" William asked. "Aside from the obvious. Was... Was it something I did?"

"No! Spike... I mean, William." Xander cringed.

"Oh, I see." William nodded, letting his eyes fall to the floor in an almost bashful move. Xander fought down a dominant growl. William practically oozed submission, and with him smelling like Spike, it was difficult for Xander to keep control of his own instincts. "You wish for the demon. I am sorry if I am not a very good substitute, Alexander."

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Xander suddenly asked. "Is it just you? Is Spike even there?"

"I do not..." William frowned. "I do not really know. I have only caught glimpses of the being you call Spike since my death. Perhaps with time it will come to me, the memories. They must be here, in this mind, after all. Maybe I simply need time."

"Maybe." Xander said. He scratched absentmindedly at his arm. His skin still felt as though it was tingling. Xander took a deep breath, accidentally bringing in William's scent. He suddenly needed to get out of there. Away from this... person that wasn't his mate, and yet was. "I gotta... Well... Go."

"Oh, certainly." William smiled. "I wish not to interfere with your time, Alexander."

William shuffled from foot to foot, watching as Xander practically ran out of the room. He could hear an argument in the other room break out. Cringing, William slowly sat back down on the floor, gripping the hardback book Giles had given him like a vice.

Parts of Xander wanted to run back into the training room and give William the comfort he truly needed, but the majority of him wanted to get away. So, that's what he did. He ignored the group's questions on what was wrong. He ignored everything and simply ran. He knew, deep down, that he wasn't thinking anything through. William was Spike. They were the same person, William just couldn't remember it.

The hyena didn't know what to do. Oh, sure, Xander couldn't really tell a hyena thought from a human one, or a soldier thought for that matter. They were all there, as truthful as himself. But he knew the influence. He could simply tell that the panic and the need for a fight, any fight, was the hyena. His mate was lost to him. He was there, but did not know of their bond. 

Yet William gave off the feeling that he knew of it, to a certain degree. He understood that something connected him to this Alexander. Xander slowed to a walk and entered the nearest cemetery, inwardly begging a vampire to rise from a grave nearby. He was shocked that William was reacting as well as he was. Xander always thought that a time traveler would be driven to insanity with all the new things he saw. Then again, William understood what was going on.

Xander was certain he wasn't looking forward to death, if it meant knowing what was happening in the living realm. In William's case, what your body was doing. Perhaps that was a vampire's purgatory? Maybe that's why Angel's soul was always so easy to obtain after losing. Xander closed his eyes, quickly erasing all thoughts from his mind. He didn't want to think about it.

Tara had finally gotten away from Willow and the others. She felt bad about leaving Giles to fend off their questions, but all that attention was making her jittery. Taking a deep breath, Tara walked over to William. The vampire was curled up into a depressive ball in the corner, his eyes focusing on the ground. "W-William?"

"Oh!" William quickly got to his feet and nodded at the blonde woman. "Hello, miss."

"Oh, umm, call me Tara." Tara offered. She motioned for the sofa. "We could sit down..."

"Oh, certainly." William shuffled over, then politely waited for Tara to sit first. "Did you need anything, Miss Tara?"

"It's just Tara." She replied. "And... Well, actually, I w-was wondering what you understood of the situation. You are taking this very well."

"From what I've gathered, I was turned into a vampire." William said, picking idly at his sleeve. "I was in this place... I'm not very certain what it was, but it looked like mother's reading room. After a while, my mother appeared. I've been there ever since."

"So, you don't know anything about Spike?" Tara asked. "How did you know Xander?"

"I would get these visions of sorts." William confided in a low voice. "Like a dream, I suppose. In them I would be in my body, in the vampire's body. The first time it happened was a while ago. I was fighting this woman in a black, leather cloak." William frowned at his attire. "Like the one I'm wearing..."

"Go on." Tara encouraged. 

"It did not happen for a while." William said. "Not until I was fighting this blonde girl... A Slayer?"

"Buffy?" Tara questioned.

"I believe so." William nodded. "Then I was there when I was captured by what looked like soldiers. It has been happening quite recently, however. The last was... Well, I do not wish to speak of it."

"Why not?" Tara started to smile at the embarrassed look crossing William's face. "I see. Xander is terribly romantic when he wishes to be, isn't he? At least from what I've seen."

"Oh, yes." William broke into a wide smile. "Alexander is simply wonderful. I do not wish to sound bold, but I feel happy around him."

"I understand." Tara replied. "I know the feeling, trust me."

"I just wish he did not feel the need to run from me." William told her. "I understand that I am not entirely Spike. I know that I'm different than the vampire I left in my place, but I feel the same connection that Spike did. I seem different, but I feel as though I share the same heart."

"You amaze me." Tara said softly. William gave her a baffled look. "I m-mean, you aren't from here, not really. Yet, you're adapting to the situation."

"I have always been rather... Well, my mother called me gullible." William replied, biting his lip. 

"G-gullible? Nah." Tara shook her head.

"You are very kind, Tara." William said. "I feel like I can trust you."

"I feel like you shouldn’t. I got you into this mess." Tara told him. "I cast the spell, after all."

"I do not know much of anything about witchcraft, but you are a good person." William patted her lightly on the shoulder, before jerking his hand back. "You wouldn't do it intentionally."

"He's right." Another voice spoke up. Willow walked over to the sofa and sat down next to her girlfriend, wrapping an arm around her waist. Buffy, Riley, and Giles entered after her. They all hovered around them, Buffy peering at William as though he were about to explode. 

"So... You're William?" Buffy asked, uncertainty plain in her voice. 

"I am, miss." William replied in his cultured tone,standing to bow slightly. Buffy let out a small giggle before coughing to hide it. William smiled at her, before turning to greet Riley. Riley remained baffled as William said hello in a warm voice. 

"Riley, say hi." Buffy ordered, grinning at William. Riley frowned at Buffy.

"Hey." He mumbled, before taking Buffy's arm and guiding her away. "Why are you being so nice to him? It's just Spike."

"Don't you get it?" Buffy asked. "It's not 'just Spike', it's William. It's who Spike was before he became a vampire."

"You really believe what Giles said?" Riley asked, shocked.

"A vampire with a soul isn't that far fetched, Riley." Buffy told him in a soft, yet determined voice. Riley sighed, choosing to remain quiet rather than start an argument with her. Buffy raised an eyebrow at him, before turning back to the others. "Well, it's getting late. Riley and I will go do a quick patrol. You guys should get some sleep."

"What about William?" Willow asked. "Xander kind of, well, vamoosed."

"I suppose you could stay the night at my house." Giles offered. "I promise not to chain you to the bath."

"Pardon?" William asked, his eyes widening.

"Never mind." Giles replied quickly. "Uh, shall we?"

"I'll let Xander know if I run into him." Buffy announced, dragging Riley out the door.

Xander was sure to keep out of sight as Buffy and Riley set out to patrol. He had been watching the Magic Box for a good hour, having no desire to go inside. All he wanted to do at that moment was make sure William was in good hands, then go home and sleep. He prayed to all that was good, holy, and even evil that when he awoke, things were back to normal. At least, he mused, as normal as things were able to get in Sunnydale.

All he really wanted was Spike back, safe and sound. He personally thought it wasn't too much to ask, and when Spike finally did appear? Well, Xander was prepared to give him a good spanking for making him growl, kill vampires, and worry like a mother hen. 

Pushing away his thoughts for not the first time that night, Xander watched as first Tara and Willow, then Giles and William exited the shop. It was easy to follow Giles' car to his home, since the Watcher still drove the jalopy he had owned since entering America. Making sure he could not be seen, Xander watched through a window as Giles placed William on the couch. The ex-Victorian curled up on the makeshift bed, his blue eyes open and wide. Sighing, Xander left for home, hoping William would be all right.

William slowly closed his eyes and immediately knew he was dreaming. The figure before him, after all, could only be in a dream since he did not have a reflection. His own pale face stared back at him, sneering. William wanted to wake up, right then. He didn't want to greet Spike, even if it was himself.

"Well, what have we here?" Spike asked in a harsh whisper. "Do you really think you can get away with this?"

"I do not know-" William started.

"You know perfectly well!" Spike literally screamed. "You can't take him from me! You will not take him. You and I? We are the same, and yet you are pushing me out! You bastard."

"But I don't want to." William replied, closing his eyes to block out Spike's angry gaze. "I just want to be a part of it, that is all."

"Then why are you blocking me?" Spike asked, his voice a low growl.

"I do not know." William replied. "I do not mean to."

"Well, then looks like we have a problem." Spike said coldly. William sniffed lightly, before looking up into Spike's eyes. 

"It is not my fault." William defended. "You are the one hiding, otherwise I wouldn't be alone in this."

"What do I have to hide from?"

"Your feelings." William replied. Spike narrowed his eyes. "You're afraid of how Alexander will treat you now that you are whole. You're afraid of fully developing your bond with him."

"Be happy this is simply a dream, ponce." Spike hissed. "Or I would tear out your heart for even suggesting such a thing."

"If you want out so badly, then do it." William told him. "I'm not stopping you."

The next day, William had hardly any memory of the dream, though he suspected something had happened overnight. He felt strange, as though something was waging a battle inside his head while he was unaware. He sat on the sofa, frowning as he attempting to recall what he could of his conversation with his alter-ego. That was how Xander found him.

"Hey, William." Xander greeted softly, sitting down across from him.

"Hello, Alexander." William replied softly. 

Xander smiled slightly, before staring down at his hands. He still wasn't sure what to do about the situation. The fact that this was still William unnerved him. His skin once again began to crawl with unease.

"Bloody hell, pet, what's wrong?" Xander's eyes shot up to see William's hand clamped over his mouth. His blue eyes widened almost comically.

"Spike?" Xander questioned.

"I am terribly sorry for my language." He apologized quickly. "I do not know where that came from." 

"It's okay. I think... I think that was Spike." Xander whispered. William frowned slightly "I'm sorry, William. It's not that I don't want you here..."

"But you fell in love with Spike. I do understand, Alexander." William replied, giving him a soft smile. 

"You're the same person..." Xander told him. "Aren't you?"

"In a matter of speaking." William admitted. "We just hold different experiences and memories, or lack there of in my case."

"Spike said you were the same." Xander said, crossing his arms self-consciously.

"He loves you." William said in reply. "I love you."

"Do you?" Xander sighed. "Does he? God, this is as confusing as me and the hyena." Xander rubbed at his face, before taking a deep breath. "I know that Spike and I were meant for each other. The hyena showed up and demanded him, and afterward I just kind of knew. Spike makes me feel... Well, happy. You give off the same feeling, but... Knowing that you don't fully know me, well, it makes me nervous."

"Thank you for your honesty." William replied, smiling slightly.

"There is no hyena and me now." Xander continued. "It's just me. The hyena senses are there. The mentality, the understanding? That's all there, and I know it's the hyena. But the thoughts? They feel like mine and I agree with them. Spike, he... He doesn't realize that, I don't think." Xander stood and moved over to the sofa. He sat down next to William, placing an arm over his shoulders. "I love you and I love him. You aren't different. I see the small details and I don't want to believe, just like Spike doesn't want to believe how I feel. I can see that now."

"Alexander..." William said the name softly, and for a moment he looked as though he was going to continue. Instead, he let his gaze drift down to Xander's mouth. As though drawn, William leaned forward and let his lips brush Xander's.


	15. Chapter 15

Xander discovered quickly that William's kiss was much like his personality. Sweet and filled with temptation. It was almost like William wasn't certain, as though he didn't know if his touch was welcomed. Part of Xander wanted to go slow, even wanted to push William away. They were confused, and the obvious sexual tension between them was not helping. But when William's lips tentatively parted, Xander's mind was wiped clean of all thoughts.

Xander gently slipped his arm behind William, pulling him closer. His tongue barely touch William's lower lip, and yet managed to drag a soft moan from his chest. The moan quickly turned into a growl as William shockingly took the initiative. Grabbing Xander by the lapels of his jacket, his maneuvered himself around until he was straddling his waist. Xander gripped William's hips, allowing the vampire to take full control for once.

William's tongue danced into his mouth. His hands slipped under Xander's shirt in an almost feverish fashion. Groaning, Xander let his head fall back as William's mouth latched onto his neck. "William? Sh-should we... Oh, god, do that again! No, I mean... Mmm, should we be doing this?"

"I gotta have you, love." The harsh voice whispered in his ear. "You're mine. Gotta make you mine."

"Yes. Yours." Xander moaned, arching his hips upward to meet the vampire's clothed erection.

"As fascinating as this scene will no doubt be, might I ask you to cease." 

"Bloody Watcher." Was mumbled into Xander's neck, before his mate's head shot up in shock. "Oh my. Oh my goodness. I'm terribly sorry! Please... forgive me, Alexander. I had no intention-"

"William?" Xander interrupted, still panting slightly. "It's okay. I should have stopped us. We shouldn't be doing this while you are so confused."

"Oh thank heavens." Giles muttered from the kitchen doorway. William let out a small sigh and carefully removed himself from Xander's lap. Xander found himself immediately missing the weight.

"Not to sound like the keeper of bad ideas, but shouldn't he stay like this?" Buffy asked later that evening. They were congregated around the table inside the Magic Box, with books piled high in front of them. The majority of them were researching Buffy's newest demon, while Xander was looking up the spell Tara had performed.

"Buffy, he's confused." Xander told her, forcing the growl to stay out of his tone. "It's not Spike, not completely."

"Yeah, but..." Buffy shrugged, looking over at William. The vampire was curled up in the corner with a large demonology book and cup of tea. Giles had been kind enough to lend him a spare pair of glasses. Despite their prescription not matching William's, the vampire was now able to reach the books without holding them close to his face. Buffy stifled a grin when the lenses slid down William's nose. "He's sweet this way."

"Spike was sweet, you just never noticed." Xander pointed out, his eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, okay." Buffy rolled her eyes, before turning to Willow. "Speaking of fellow loved ones, where's Tara?"

"Umm, at the dorm." Willow said softly.

"Well, I for one wish I was home right now." Buffy let her book fall to the table with a thump, ignoring Giles' exclamation at mishandling his beloved books. "Ah, sleep. It sounds wonderful. I've forgotten what it's like."

"I think we all miss sleep." Riley replied.

"No one is asking you to be here." Xander said, giving Riley a pointed stare.

"Do you have a problem, Xander?" Riley suddenly asked. Xander's eyes narrowed into full slits and a low growl echoed from his chest. "You know, some of us don't believe that hyena shit anymore."

"Well, that's your problem, isn't it?" Xander said through gritted teeth, his eyes flashing a bright green. Riley's eyes widened, before lowering to the table. Xander's mouth split into a wide smile. "Good boy."

"Xander." Buffy turned to him with pleading eyes. "Not now, please?"

"Let him have a little fun, Slayer." William said from the corner, before coughing and burying his face into the book in his hands.

"Okay, what was that?" Buffy asked, looking around at the others in confusion.

"It appears Spike and William are adjusting." Giles replied. "I explained this to you yesterday. For a while, they will both be fighting for the same body. At least... That's what I assume. I wasn't quite certain on the effects of the spell and what to expect with them traveling to a higher plane. Tara did all the research, after all."

"She blames herself." Willow admitted softly. "She thinks the spell should of worked out better."

"It's not her fault." Xander told her.

"That's what I keep telling her." Willow insisted. "She just doesn't believe me. You don't get it. Tara... She takes magic so seriously. If even the slightest thing goes wrong, she wants to know why. I guess that's what happens when you're raised in it."

"As she should take it seriously." Giles muttered from behind his book. Willow made a point of ignoring him.

"She's a wonderful Wicca." Willow said in a quiet voice. "She just doesn't trust herself. The smallest malfunction, and she assumes it's something she did."

"She did her best." Giles pointed out. "Spike specifically asked her to do the spell. He knew she would do a good job. You never know, maybe this separation of William and Spike is temporary. Spike appears to be making an appearance now and again."

"Which is oh so very depressing." Buffy sighed.

"I need some air." Xander suddenly announced, standing. He glanced over at William, whose blue eyes were peering over his book at him. "Want to come?"

"I would love to, Alexander." William replied, setting his book and glasses on the table and followed Xander to the door.

"His accent is so sweet." Buffy squealed as the door shut behind them.

The night seemed to encircled them as they escaped the lights of the Magic Box. They walked down the street, taking in it's empty sidewalks. To visitors it would seem odd, but Xander was momentarily glad that people had enough common sense to stay out of the demon filled nightlife. Sighing softly, Xander glanced over at William. The vampire had his arms crossed and was staring at his shoes. A small smile twitched at Xander's lips.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Xander said, the words coming out before he could stop them.

"What reason do you have to be sorry?" William asked, an adorable and confused look appearing on his face. Xander inwardly groaned. It was bad enough that Spike was sexy and hot as all hell, but now his human side was sweet and cuddly. Add the wonderful scent that Xander could smell simply by standing near him, and he was shocked he hadn't tackled William to the nearest vertical surface.

"I left when you needed me most." Xander told him, feeling rather ashamed and embarrassed. While he knew he had needed the momentary space in order to think things through, he felt bad for leaving his mate in such a state. "You had just got here and I... Well, I should of stayed."

"I don't expect you to treat me like you did Spike." William suddenly told him as they turned onto the road that led to U.C. Sunnydale.

"You're right. I shouldn't treat you the same." Xander paused, before letting out something he never thought before the repossession that he would be caught saying. "I should be nice to you."

"Pardon?"

"With Spike... He likes to bicker and fight." Xander explained softly. "He's filled with all this passion, with nothing to cool him down. Towards the end he was calming, but I think that's because of the whole soul thing."

"Me?" William asked.

"Well, Spike had bits of you." Xander snorted. "That's sounds weird. Still, that's probably why you were having those dream things."

"It makes perfect sense if you think about it." William commented in a voice that sounded too much like Giles' for Xander's taste.

"Anyway." Xander cleared his throat. "With the plain Spike, we could be cross and rude to each other and still care about one another. You? Well, you give off this vibe that screams sensitivity. You're the water to Spike's fire. So, I can't really call you names or be rough with you. I should of stayed with you like you needed me to."

William didn't reply, nor did he look at Xander. His eyes looked a tad misty, however, and Xander was once again struck with how sweet this soul truly was. Smiling, Xander reached over and slipped his hand into William's. William started slightly, before looking up at him with a smile of his own.

"So, you think I'm sweet." William stated.

"Incredibly so." Xander replied.

"And sensitive."

"Yup." Xander agreed

"Anything else, Alexander?" William asked, his lips twitching as though he was trying not to smirk. 

"Your skin is soft." Was all Xander could say. William look at him through the corner of his eye, suddenly looking sly.

"I get the strangest feeling you are insinuating I'm of the female variety." William told him. Xander burst out into laughter. William watched him, his smile growing as Xander continued to chuckled.

"Sorry." Xander managed to say, fighting down his amusement.

"Oh, not at all. That was the desired effect." William replied. William broke into a grin at Xander's exasperated look. Then looking around, he said. "Is there any particular reason we are at the university?"

"Actually, I hadn't noticed." Xander shrugged and turned down another sidewalk. "Want to visit Tara and see if we can get her out of whatever type of funk she's put herself in?"

"I would love to. She really is a sweet girl." William practically gushed. Xander snickered, then smirked at the glare William half-heartedly sent him.

They continued down the path, leading up to Tara's dormitory. Inside, the hall lights were set low. Both William and Xander had no trouble seeing through the dim light, and quickly entered the elevator. After pressing the correct button, Xander returned his hand to William’s, smiling as the vampire squeezed his in return. They exited on the correct floor and quickly made it to Tara's room. After a quick knock on the door, they were greeted with a shocked looking witch.

Tara looked like she hadn't attempted any kind of rest since William's appearance. Her hair was frizzy, parts sticking almost straight up. Blinking, she stared at them a moment, then broke out into a dark blush. Lowering her head, she stepped aside and allowed them entrance. The room looked like utter chaos. Books were stacked in uneven piles. Papers were strewn across the bed and floor. Tara shuffled back to the bed and sat down, immediately picking up a large book. Xander stared at her in shock, having never seen Tara so unorganized, or dressed only in sweatpants and a tank top.

"Tara?" Xander asked, walking over. "What's going on?"

"I..." Tara sighed, placing her book on the pillow next to her. "Well, I was just thinking, you know... A-about the spell? I was hoping I could figure out exactly what happened. T-to see if there was something we could do about Spike a-and William."

"Do you think something might be wrong?" Xander asked, shooting William a nervous look.

"N-no." Tara stuttered. She eyed them both, before taking a deep breath. "T-the thing is that if the separation continues, we have no idea how damaging it could be."

"Damaging?" William frowned. "How?"

"Umm, well, multiple personalities is the most likely result." Tara told him.

"Do you mean..." William glanced at Xander before continuing. "That I could revert back to Spike, then back to me without knowing it?"

"Yes. Or you may say things that aren't normal for you, but are for Spike. Despite being basically the same person, you do have separate personalities." Tara explained. She noticed the wide eyed look appearing on William and Xander's faces. "...It's already happened, hasn't it?"

"More than once, I'm afraid." William replied.

"I've been thinking of a way to get you to unite permanently." Tara said. She started twisting the hem of her shirt nervously. "At first I thought the spell we used for Xander would be a good idea, but I'm not so sure... The situation is so different... What we n-need is a trigger of some kind."

"Trigger?" Xander asked.

"Something to bring both Spike and William to the fore." Tara said, her eyes thoughtful. "Something that both would feel the need to participate in fully, without no remorse or hesitation. If we can figure out what that trigger is, all we would need to do is let the event unfold. Most likely, they will unite on their own."

"Yeah, but we would have to find something they both wanted." Xander said. "They are total opposites."

"There must be something..." Tara turned to William, who was staring at his feet. "William? Do you know of anything that would work?"

"I..." William blushed heavily and nodded. His blue eyes slowly shifted their gaze to Xander. "Yeah. There is something we agree on."


	16. Chapter 16

William could not only see, but feel the possessive glint in Xander's eyes. Unable to take his steady gaze, he turned back to Tara. The witch was looking back and forth between them, her eyes speculative. Then a not so subtle blush spread across her cheeks. Her eyes dropped to the floor, before gathering her courage to look up at him. Taking a deep breath, she finally spoke.

"Do you think y-you can handle this?" Tara asked William softly. 

"Well..." William trailed off and shrugged lightly. 

"Umm, X-Xander?" Tara asked.

"Yeah?" Xander's eyes didn't leave William's fidgeting form.

"Could you, umm, g-give me and William a moment alone?" Tara requested. 

Xander glanced at her, noticing the bright blush. With any other person, he suspected he wouldn't allow them to be alone together at that moment in time. But this was Tara, and Xander suddenly found himself unable to deny her. He stood and walked past William to the door, taking a moment to rest his hand on the vampire's shoulder in support. When the door shut behind him, Tara and William stared down at their shoes, unable to look at each other.

"I t-think I know what you need to do." Tara said softly.

"It is hardly polite to speak-" William started.

"I'm more involved than most people, William." Tara smiled at him. "I had a feeling, when I first t-thought of the idea, that it would lead to this. Do you have a problem with it?"

"I've..." William picked idly at his sleeve. "I was present once, when Xander and Spike were... Expressing their love. It was brief, and I suspect that I only understood the emotional side of it. I have never... I had yet find someone that special, before I died."

"There is nothing wrong with not knowing." Tara told him.

"I feel as though I should." William blushed. "I understand the basics of what I desire. I feel as though I should know this. Spike and I are not so different. Like you said, we are the same in a sense."

"You think that Xander will expect you to perform as Spike did." Tara stated. William avoided looking at her and slowly nodded. He could hear movement, the soft shuffle of feet, and soon Tara's painted toes appeared in his vision. Blinking, William dragged his eyes upward, until he finally met Tara eye to eye. "Xander cares about you. He won't d-do anything to hurt you, especially force you."

"He's so dominant." William whispered. "He hasn't shown it since I appeared, I know, but I can feel it. It's like he owns me."

"It's true." Tara knelt down and looked at him with serious eyes. "But I think you're missing something here."

"What?" William asked.

"You're mated. That means you own him as well." Tara said. William stared at her, utterly shocked. Then, slowly, a smile began to appear.

William met Xander outside in the hall, then quietly led him out of the dormitory. Once they had left the university property, William paused a moment, his eyes closed. He knew he could remember where Xander lived, where the Magic Box was, and even were Giles lived, if he tried hard enough. The memories didn't surface however, and he was stuck looking over at Xander for direction. He looked a little lost, but unlike his vampire self, he didn't try to hide that weakness.

"Do you, uh, want to go back to the Magic Box?" Xander asked, trying not to fidget. William could see the tension in his arms and back.

"I would rather-" William stopped himself, took an un-needed breath, then tried again. "I wonder if we could go to your home, Alexander?"

"Yeah, we can do that." Xander replied. 

He led the way, his arms crossed, before finally reaching over and taking William's hand once again in his. They made their way to Xander's basement home slowly, letting the comfortable silence wash over them. They entered the basement some time later, Xander shutting the door with a soft click. He remained at the door, watching as William descended the steps and took a look around. William stopped next to the bed, placed his leather duster on the nearby chair, and finally looked back at Xander.

"Are you okay?" Xander asked softly, watching as William sat down on the bed. After a moment of silence, Xander joined him. "William?"

"I am fine." William said. He twisted around to look at Xander, his eyes speculative. "Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"I..." William trailed off, his eyes darting away.

"Hey." Xander whispered, reaching over and taking William's hand in his own. "What do you want?"

"Want?" William laughed nervously. "I could want many things..."

"What do you need?" Xander rephrased. William's mouth opened to reply, but no words came out. He looked up at Xander, taking in the concerned eyes and supportive smile. Even in that simple, loving gaze, those chocolate eyes held something that William felt he could never understand. A strength, a dangerous edge. Feral and protective. William closed his own eyes, bowing his head down as he thought.

This was real. That was the first thing to go through his head. The hand holding his own, the heat radiating off of Xander's body. The intense connection that he could feel in the back of his mind. It was strange, how he had never really noticed it until now. It was like a part of him, hidden inside, could feel Xander's presence. Not simply the heat or the hand. No, more like how far away he was. How confused he was. Was he happy? Was he safe? That tiny part knew, and if William tried hard enough he could answer all those questions.

Taking a deep un-needed breath, William stared at the hand holding his own. They were rough hands, gentle and yet worn down from hard labor. He wanted to touch and feel all of Xander at that moment. Yet, what he wanted wasn't the issue. What did he need?

"Are you sure you're okay?" Xander questioned.

"I need..." William raised his head to look Xander in the eyes. "I need..."

"What?" Xander asked. "What do you need?"

"You." William said simply, before reaching out to touch Xander lightly on the cheek. The kiss nearly caught him by surprise. He was so used to Xander stepping around him like he was a delicate piece of glass. The passion and heat attacked him as Xander pressed his lips against his own.

William allowed Xander to ease him onto his back. He could feel the gentle pressure of Xander's body against his own. Xander's hands trailed down his sides, before gripping the hem of his shirt. All thoughts escaped him the moment Xander's tongue glided across his lower lip. A small sound erupted from his chest, somewhere between a grunt and whimper, as Xander's tongue slipped into his mouth and began doing things that left William nearly begging for more.

As the kiss deepened, William's legs automatically spread, allowing Xander to rest between them. Their groins touched, both hardening from the contact. William shivered slightly as Xander's hands slipped underneath his shirt. His fingers trailed upwards, touching softly. Xander pulled back from the kiss, his eyes looking dark with desire. William bit his lower lip, trying not to say anything absurd or embarrassing as Xander nuzzled his neck. The touch of Xander's tongue released a gasp from his chest.

Unable to hold back, William's own hands grabbed at Xander's shirt, trying to pull it off. Not quite realizing his own vampiric strength, William ripped the shirt in half. Xander pulled back to look at the two pieces of fabric in William's hands, eyes wide with shock. He started to laugh when caught sight of the look on William’s face. Wide blue eyes stared up at him, looking like a hurt angel.

"Sorry." William mumbled, tossing the ruined shirt to the ground.

"It's okay." Xander chuckled.

"Mu?"

"Huh?" Xander watched in amusement as William caught sight of his now bare chest. William's hands slowly slid across it. Xander moaned softly when one hand brushed his nipple. William's eyes seemed to widened even further at the sound and Xander soon found himself in the possession of a wild vampire. William practically attacked him, their lips crushing and teeth clanking together. His hands touched every available surface, pulling forth a series of moans.

Xander wasn't sure when their clothes disappeared. It was sometime between his ripped shirt and William's hand finally wrapping around his erection. Whenever it happened, Xander was glad it did. William looked like a debauched cherub with refined muscles and strong arms. It was something Xander felt he could get used it, and it was something that Xander recognized as a part of Spike. Both versions of the vampire seemed so open and at awe during sex, which only served to fuel Xander's desire.

William's hand didn't move, it simply held Xander's cock with a firm grip. It was driving Xander insane. Xander's hand found William's own erection. He tightened his fingers around the shaft, giving it a couple of pulls and reveling in the low groan escaping his lover. William's eyes flickered closed a second, before reopening to lock with Xander's. The want and need nearly sent Xander for a loop, but a part of him was inwardly begging to take the vampire. To make him feel and want and need; to simply adore him in a way that was pure touch.

Releasing William's cock, Xander slipped his arms around his body and pulled him close. William's own hands rested nervously at his hips as their naked bodies were pressed close together. Their cocks touched, length for length. William seemed to be panting at this point, despite not needing to breath. Xander paused, breathing in the vampire's arousal, before allowing his hips to jerk forward. He repeated the motion, their cocks rubbing against one another. William let out a small whimper, his own hips arching forward to meet Xander.

Xander's hands grabbed at William's arse, gripping each cheek as his hips moved faster. William's head fell back against the pillow, his eyes closed as a soft moan continuously escaped his throat. Xander rolled them the extra inch, allowing him to once again lay on top of William's body. He lifted William's leg, letting it automatically wrap around his waist. Xander's eyes traveled the expanse of William's neck, which was fully visible as he continued to arch his back. 

William let out a gasp when Xander's tongue first trailed across his adam's apple. The suction that followed was like an aphrodisiac, leaving him begging for more. More of something, more of anything. Xander seemed to take this as a hint. He quickly leaned over the side of the bed, pulling open the bottom drawer of his bedside table. Pulling back, he brandished the small case of lubricant. Quickly twisting the cap off, Xander covered two fingers. After setting the lube back down, his eyes locked with William's wide blues.

"Are you sure you want this?"

"Bloody..." William's muttered, his hips jerking upwards. "Yes, Alexander. I'm positive."

Nodding in reply, Xander's hand traveled between his legs. Slick fingers gently stroked the crack of his arse, before circling his opening. William sucked in an un-needed breath as the first finger slid in. It thrusted into him slowly, the strange feeling fading until it became a simple desire for more. Another finger was added, the slight burn never replacing William's want. By the time the third finger was brought into play, William was rocking his hips, trying to bring more of Xander's hand into him. 

William let out a small noise of protest when Xander removed his fingers. Xander smiled down at him, his hands lifting William's legs. Then Xander's cock was pushing it's way through, sending little sparks of fire and electricity through him until Xander was fully inside him. Xander propped himself up, panting.

"Are you okay?" Xander asked, his voice filled with very little control.

"Fine." William gasped out. Xander took a deep breath, his arms moving to wrap once again around William's body.

Then William felt himself being flipped. A loud groan escaped him as he found himself straddling Xander, Xander's cock burying deep inside of him as he sat up. Xander had to force himself to stay under control when William shifted above him. Their moans echoed between one another. Xander's hands rested on top of William's thighs, his nails digging into white skin. 

Slowly, William began an up and down movement with his hips. Xander's hands gripped his thighs tighter, with a strength that just might leave bruises on his vampiric flesh. William shifted again on his down stroke. He let out a gasp as sparks of fire literally traveled up his spine. He sped up, savoring each little blast of pleasure and every throaty moan Xander released.

Then something happened. William couldn't explain it, and he didn't dare stop moving. Deep inside himself, he felt it. Almost like an explosion inside his mind. Squeezing shut his eyes, William concentrated on the pleasure overriding his body. The bed began to rock from his harsh downward thrusts. Xander could only hold onto him, the jerks of his own hips not fast enough to meet the vampire's. William leaned forward, holding onto Xander's shoulders.

Whether Xander knew something was different didn't matter. They were too far gone. Their hands gripped tightly. Their breathing, needed or not, picked up. And then it hit before either one could slow down, or speed up. Their orgasm surged through their veins, erupting out of their cocks and with their moans. The vampire collapsed on top of Xander, his face buried into the crook of his neck. Xander barely had the energy to roll them over, his arm draping across his lover's waist. Then, there was only slumber.

Xander awoke to the feel of someone wrapping their arms around him. They tightened, nearly to the point of breathlessness. Pulling back slightly, Xander looked down at the vampire. "William?"

"Yeah?" Was the reply. The voice was low and husky. Xander gulped.

"Are you okay?"

"You keep asking me that, pet." Blue eyes looked up at him. "Didn't know you cared that much."

"S-Spike?" Xander stammered.

"One and only." Spike grinned.

"What happened?" Xander asked. 

"It's nothing." Spike shrugged and managed to burry himself deeper into Xander's embrace, a feat that Xander would of thought impossible.

"Spike." Xander growled.

"Fine. It's fixed, all right?" Spike snapped.

"Fixed? You mean William's gone?" Xander asked, sounding a little worried.

"No, he's here. I'm here, aren't I?" Spike replied. "Holding you right now, in fact."

"You're..."

"One and the same, whelp." Spike explained, pulling back briefly to give him a smirk.

"Oh..." Xander trailed off, his mind going blank as Spike pressed his mouth to his own. A growl escaped his throat as their mouths opened, tongues touching. Spike slowly ended the kiss, his lips once again curling into a smirk. Xander rested their foreheads against one another and sighed. "You think anything else could go wrong with our relationship?"

"Oh, there are plenty of things to go wrong with it, pet." Spike told him, his voice that of cheerful teasing.

"We've both been mentally screwed with, not to mention spiritually screwed." Xander continued.

"Yeah, but we bounced back like a bloody rubber ball, didn't we?" Spike said. "Now, Alexander, I do believe you should be kissing me."

"I never thought I'd like hearing my full name." Xander commented between small kisses.

"Yeah, well, get used to hearing it." Spike grunted, nipping lightly at Xander's lower lip. "I like calling you Alexander."

"Prat." Xander said fondly.

"Oooh, talk dirty to me." Spike growled. 

"Dork." Xander chuckled, before turning serious. "You're not mad at me?"

"For what?"

"For having sex with William." Xander said softly.

"Get it through your bloody head, we are the same person." Spike told him. "Besides, it had to be done. You remember what the little witch said about my personalities finding a common ground. Smart, that one is. And don't forget, Xan, I had sex with the hyena."

"Yeah, but--" Xander started.

"Oh, shut up." Spike complained. "You're annoying me, you stupid git."

"I love you." Xander smiled.

"Yeah well..." Spike grumbled under his absent breath.

"What was that?"

"I love you, too." Spike glared. "Idiot."

"Good to hear." Xander's smile widened. Spike sent him another glare, before once again cuddling up to him. Xander breathed in his scent, savoring it. He could feel Spike doing the same. For once, everything seemed to be in sync. It was a wonderful feeling.

 

.Epilogue.

Xander could remember when it happened. It all started with a battle and a little wound. That small wound spread it's disease faster than the speed of light. But not all diseases were bad, not really. This one, for example, was the producer of a great thing. 

Xander could remember the first taste of Spike, the first sound of William's cultured voice. He could remember everything, and for once he did not have to give up what he enjoyed. He could taste Spike with a kiss, or a nibble. He could hear William while forcing Spike to read Shakespeare out loud. Xander could remember the first urge to own and protect the vampire. And he felt it everyday since. Xander could remember the feel of their bodies, the connection of their souls. He felt it again with every glance, every smile, and ever mention of Spike's name.

Xander had never understood the term 'being whole'. It never was connected to him. He was separated. Hyena. Soldier. Man. Three different beings, each special in their own way. Then a vampire came along. A sarcastic wit and sex-filled body. Xander couldn't help but be hooked on Spike. And once he had obtained him, Xander knew his life was complete. He was whole. 

And now, so was Spike.

 

.Final Notes.

Total Word Count: est. 46,532  
Date Started: Sunday, August 29, 2004  
Date Ended: Tuesday, March 15, 2005


End file.
